Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37392) - you deserved it (3265)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
190 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40718) - you deserved it (4405)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32736) - you deserved it (3861)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

#15221957
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27946) - you deserved it (8228)

On 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11221) - you deserved it (30418)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24129) - you deserved it (5654)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

#15164938
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27304) - you deserved it (11818)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm - animals - by nothingisreal69 (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35520) - you deserved it (2382)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15413) - you deserved it (24998)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29200) - you deserved it (5934)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26792) - you deserved it (4362)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

#15029276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27783) - you deserved it (3975)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24238) - you deserved it (4168)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: