Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43648) - you deserved it (6434)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

#17429478
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29544) - you deserved it (5414)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - animals - by Ser17 - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31899) - you deserved it (3646)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37671) - you deserved it (8161)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30163) - you deserved it (2749)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41558) - you deserved it (7590)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
193 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47197) - you deserved it (3195)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

#17359587
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41908) - you deserved it (4033)

On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

#17343675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27669) - you deserved it (4987)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Username - United States

Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML

#17327008
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28359) - you deserved it (2519)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Username - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29578) - you deserved it (4674)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
254 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10941) - you deserved it (74542)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32314) - you deserved it (6038)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)



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