Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34649) - you deserved it (10834)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

#15437013
206 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54002) - you deserved it (3771)

On 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm - animals - by awesome -

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58089) - you deserved it (6296)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (4350)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

#15379189
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36473) - you deserved it (3107)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:25am - animals - by unwanted (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, with water in my eyes, I stepped out of the shower and rubbed my face with a towel. When I looked in the mirror, I realized there had been a giant spider on the towel. Its guts and legs were smeared all over my face. FML

#15373244
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45151) - you deserved it (5316)

On 03/18/2011 at 9:36pm - animals - by SpideyFace (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have a cat with separation anxiety. By this, I mean whenever I go in another room and shut the door with her outside, she uses her head as a battering ram to try and break down the door. It's fun trying to sleep too. FML

#15366508
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30797) - you deserved it (6002)

On 03/18/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by nosleeptilpissoff (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29614) - you deserved it (4202)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

#15309054
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33179) - you deserved it (7575)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

#15298829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27040) - you deserved it (12483)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm - animals - by spaz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27793) - you deserved it (6673)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37431) - you deserved it (3267)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40760) - you deserved it (4406)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • OK jkjk it was FMLS April Fools
  •   Yah its know over, ive stoppd wrotting… Sorry, I'll try again. There, it's over, I can stop typing TXT language with my forehead. Yes, you probably cottened on that it was our little…

Monday 30 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: