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Today, after bringing my dog back inside, he started whining. I thought it was because he wanted his toys, but he was really trying to say, "Help me," as a torpedo of diarrhea exploded out of him, leaving a trail down the hallway. FML

#13342166
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (4466)

On 10/06/2010 at 12:01pm - animals - by ukfan - United States

Today, I'm on holiday in Vietnam, and was wearing a new shirt. In a restaurant, the waitress pointed at my shirt and said something I couldn't understand, so I just smiled and nodded my head. She then gave me a weird look and walked away. Turns out there was a huge spider on it. FML

#13339977
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22623) - you deserved it (4182)

On 10/06/2010 at 4:40am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Vietnam

Today, I saw a spider crawling on my new roommate's cheek, so I told her to stand still so that I could flick it off. Several long seconds of flicking made me realize that it wasn't a spider at all. I had been flicking her hairy mole. FML

#13331304
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14025) - you deserved it (30218)

On 10/05/2010 at 5:01pm - animals - by jabba (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I put my good shoes out the window and on the roof to dry out because they were sopping wet. When I went to check them later on, they were still wet. And soaked in bird poop. FML

#13306628
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9605) - you deserved it (22786)

On 10/03/2010 at 6:24pm - animals - by baconman86 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

#13300598
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21508) - you deserved it (2981)

On 10/03/2010 at 5:35am - animals - by andrea99 - United States

Today, I told my boyfriend I had to go to the bathroom. He said "Okay baby, go drop your load." He also used the same voice as when he talks to his cat. FML

#13257198
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20472) - you deserved it (3935)

On 09/29/2010 at 11:17pm - animals - by peepee. (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was playing with my dog, teasing her, to cheer myself up after being dumped by my girlfriend. My dog bit me hard and I had to go to hospital. The dog has to be put down. FML

#13220648
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30708) - you deserved it (9289)

On 09/27/2010 at 9:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was bored so I got my little brother's toy spaceship and a teddy bear, went to my room and started flying them around, having dog fights, making explosion noises and humming epic orchestral music. My mom opened my bedroom door, showing our new hot female neighbour around the house. I'm 19. FML

#13203283
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12827) - you deserved it (33375)

On 09/26/2010 at 12:10am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was trying to relieve a dog that looked like it was choking because it was tied to a pole while its owner was in a restaurant. The owner called a security guard because she was convinced I was trying to steal her dog. FML

#13162058
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20796) - you deserved it (4108)

On 09/22/2010 at 9:25pm - animals - by Hilary - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I ran over my neighbors' cat. I didn't want it to look like I killed it, so I put it under my other neighbor's car so it would look like they ran over it. The cat's owners were watching me. FML

#13137769
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7537) - you deserved it (71874)

On 09/21/2010 at 12:49am - animals - by awesome - United States (Arizona)

Today, I grabbed a handful of crackers from the kitchen, only to find it crawling with bugs. Apparently, my brother had made the same discovery earlier, but put the box of crackers back in the cupboard anyway. FML

#13129116
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24388) - you deserved it (2580)

On 09/20/2010 at 3:26pm - animals - by thanksbro - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a big spider on my wall. I have arachnophobia, and I was trying to kill it with my shoe. I pulled back and hit myself in the face, causing me to fall backwards. The spider is still alive somewhere in my house. FML

#13108998
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19385) - you deserved it (12579)

On 09/19/2010 at 2:21am - animals - by jillydark6609 (woman) - United States (Indiana)



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