Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22293) - you deserved it (37953)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

#15713068
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16436) - you deserved it (23984)

On 04/09/2011 at 7:00pm - animals - by Danielle - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

#15703815
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32488) - you deserved it (3918)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43877) - you deserved it (3686)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20756) - you deserved it (33933)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31662) - you deserved it (6366)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

#15525656
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31804) - you deserved it (5461)

On 03/28/2011 at 1:56am - animals - by upliftmofo - Belgium

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28658) - you deserved it (9901)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

#15500028
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29156) - you deserved it (3919)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm - animals - by cathouse (woman) - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

#15489926
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28441) - you deserved it (5049)

On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

#15485596
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24391) - you deserved it (9435)

On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

#15477659
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26224) - you deserved it (4250)

On 03/25/2011 at 1:50am - animals - by caseyj (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
263 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34646) - you deserved it (10833)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)



Sophie Marie's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Sophie Marie's illustrated FML
  • Hi there Friday, great to see you again! What are we going to talk about this week? It's the same question that most people ask themselves while strolling into their usual bar on a Friday night, on their way to…

Friday 27 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: