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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30128) - you deserved it (3799)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

#16860122
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29833) - you deserved it (4872)

On 06/26/2011 at 1:39am - animals - by animallover (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

#16851607
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27957) - you deserved it (4335)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:41pm - animals - by kk (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I lost my dog. I looked around my neighborhood for hours, and found it under my bed asleep when I got home. FML

#16793307
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14516) - you deserved it (26825)

On 06/22/2011 at 1:48am - animals - by Morgan - United States (Texas)

Today, I painted my daughter's bedroom. When I wasn't paying attention, the cat walked through the paint tray. There are now Barney purple paw prints all over the house. FML

#16728173
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (8449)

On 06/18/2011 at 12:10pm - animals - by Barney - United States (Indiana)

Today, my family went on vacation. I had to stay home to take care of everyone's animals. I called my mom, she said she was too busy to talk to me. My sister asked who was on the phone, she replied "the dog sitter." FML

#16690008
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32569) - you deserved it (3709)

On 06/16/2011 at 2:25am - animals - by crapped on - United States

Today, after a full shift at work, I got home to my boyfriend playing CoD, a full sink, crap all over the table, a full cat box, dirty bathroom, no laundry done and the kids at my parents' house. He yelled at me because the place was a mess. FML

#16645871
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41594) - you deserved it (9105)

On 06/13/2011 at 3:04pm - animals - by rileynautumn - United States (Washington)

Today, I was having a nice dream in which a beautiful butterfly flew by me and got stuck in my hair, fluttering its wings against my neck. Then I woke up and realized the "butterfly" stuck in my hair was actually a giant wood roach. FML

#16632330
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40918) - you deserved it (2932)

On 06/12/2011 at 7:33pm - animals - by Jenievonteese (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was lying in bed with my cat. I must have looked at him the wrong way or something, because he hissed and savagely clawed at my face without warning. FML

#16614936
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29159) - you deserved it (6725)

On 06/11/2011 at 6:36pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my dog surprised everyone by somehow managing to climb on the roof. I followed him up and spent the next hour trying to catch him. FML

#16597604
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26165) - you deserved it (3914)

On 06/10/2011 at 4:39pm - animals - by crazydog (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I put lemon juice in my hair as a cheap and easy way to get highlights. I left it in my hair and I laid out in the backyard to get some sun. The sunshine wasn't the only thing that found me; it seems every bug in the neighborhood is now hiding in my hair. FML

#16580988
271 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13921) - you deserved it (47578)

On 06/09/2011 at 4:32pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Mexico)

Today, my boyfriend and I tried to give his cat medicine. Unfortunately, it reacted in a way it never had before: clawed his arms to bits, bit him so hard a tooth fell out, peed everywhere, including on me, and pooped on the carpet. FML

#16574286
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30129) - you deserved it (5423)

On 06/09/2011 at 3:20am - animals - by CatLady (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my aunt gave my cat aspirin because when she touched his nose he had a 'fever'. I came home to a dead cat. FML

#16495613
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56027) - you deserved it (3840)

On 06/04/2011 at 7:22am - animals - by Clumsyblonde22 - United States



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