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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I got attacked by my own dog. I don't know what will be harder, telling everyone how my dog thought I was a robber or explaining to them why a 25 year old man owns a poodle. FML

#15766373
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22449) - you deserved it (15030)

On 04/13/2011 at 3:05am - animals - by Username -

Today, I watched my dog chase his tail for ten minutes, thinking "wow, dogs are easily entertained." Then I realized that I'd been watching my dog chase his tail for 10 minutes. FML

#15762337
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17758) - you deserved it (36587)

On 04/12/2011 at 10:20pm - animals - by Anonymous -

­Today, my dog decided to fly through the front door like Superman. All 180lbs of her promptly slammed sideways into the wall, putting a dog-sized hole in the plaster. FML

#15726248
172 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27088) - you deserved it (3538)

On 04/10/2011 at 3:32pm - animals - by a man - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my dog was barking at a squirrel in the yard. I opened the door to let him chase the squirrel. I went to look at the dead squirrel and found out it was the neighbor's chihuahua. FML

#15714709
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22280) - you deserved it (37930)

On 04/09/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by Sid (man) - United States (California)

Today, while dog sitting, the dog peed on the carpet. There was a bottle of cleaning spray on the counter so I sprayed the spot. Turns out that spray was Clorox Bleach. Now their carpet is bright orange. FML

#15713068
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16431) - you deserved it (23968)

On 04/09/2011 at 7:00pm - animals - by Danielle - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out my cat is allergic to ME. No kidding. FML

#15703815
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32463) - you deserved it (3916)

On 04/09/2011 at 1:32am - animals - by blehhx - United States

Today, it was sunny and bright so I woke up feeling great. I pulled back the curtains in my room and saw my cat dead on the lawn. FML

#15676274
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43843) - you deserved it (3686)

On 04/07/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20724) - you deserved it (33915)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31642) - you deserved it (6362)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

#15525656
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31763) - you deserved it (5461)

On 03/28/2011 at 1:56am - animals - by upliftmofo - Belgium

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28629) - you deserved it (9897)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

#15500028
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27570) - you deserved it (3797)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm - animals - by cathouse (woman) - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

#15489926
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28419) - you deserved it (5045)

On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -



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