Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, while getting ready for a friend's wedding, I was curling my eyelashes. My cat decided to jump onto the towel rod. As I went to catch her, I ripped all the eyelashes out of one eye. I called my boyfriend crying. When he saw me, he laughed and said, "You look really surprised in that eye." FML

#10693899
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27071) - you deserved it (6493)

On 05/22/2010 at 4:32pm - animals - by lashless (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I swerved to avoid running over a dead cat in the road. Instead, I ran over its head. The crack of its skull was loud enough for me to hear it. FML

#10668547
217 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35244) - you deserved it (7458)

On 05/21/2010 at 1:26pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I let my dog outside so he could pee. After an hour, I let him back in. He just wanted to come inside to pee on the floor. FML

#10629678
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22825) - you deserved it (3776)

On 05/19/2010 at 4:43pm - animals - by Rich - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I had a long fun day at the river. That was until sundown. I now have mosquito bites in places you don't want to know. FML

#10511557
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16829) - you deserved it (9583)

On 05/13/2010 at 6:49pm - animals - by Alicia - United States (California)

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend. Things got kind of heated, so he decided to take off my bra. They cooled back down when a bug flew out. FML

#9586084
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26179) - you deserved it (8750)

On 04/02/2010 at 8:31pm - animals - by BigBangrocksthenight (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that I will be spending my spring break alone because my family is going to France. I can't go with them nor go with any of my friends because I have to take care of the cat. FML

#9149422
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30819) - you deserved it (3492)

On 03/17/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by LG (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to go pee and my cat followed me into the bathroom as usual. Then, in a not so usual fashion, she tried to jump from the sink to the top of the toilet, missed, and fell into the bowl while I was peeing. I'm scratched in a bad place, I have urine to clean up off the bathroom floor, and a traumatized cat. FML

#9135717
180 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29306) - you deserved it (4329)

On 03/16/2010 at 4:51pm - animals - by Adam (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my Dad told me that I was named after the dog he accidentally shot in the head as a teenager. FML

#9081770
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24564) - you deserved it (1755)

On 03/14/2010 at 7:23pm - animals - by OhhhNooo (man) - United States (California)

Today, while taking a shower, a spider fell from the ceiling onto my foot. I took down my shower head to wash it down the drain, and in the process, got soap in my eye and rammed my head into the wall. FML

#9077477
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14551) - you deserved it (6742)

On 03/14/2010 at 4:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I visited my family for spring break because I've been away at college and I haven't seen them since Christmas. Almost as soon as I walked in the door, my mom had me clean the living room area, clean up cat vomit, and do the dishes. Thanks guys... I missed you too. FML

#9047484
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17166) - you deserved it (1906)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:01pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

#9037311
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19485) - you deserved it (2474)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: