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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33419) - you deserved it (3245)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML

#14932385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34960) - you deserved it (5523)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:02am - animals - by Jen -

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54459) - you deserved it (7763)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -

Today, one of my cats peed all over the back of my couch, so I put her outside for a while. When I let her in, she ran straight to the couch and peed on my laptop. This has been going on ever since I accidentally stepped on her tail, several months ago. FML

#14857654
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27859) - you deserved it (10898)

On 02/05/2011 at 8:58pm - animals - by UghCats (woman) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, I woke up and stepped out of bed right into a pile of dog crap. Acting quickly, I jumped on to my other foot, which would have been a great idea, except for this morning there were two piles. FML

#14836412
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28514) - you deserved it (5391)

On 02/04/2011 at 3:11am - animals - by unknown -

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

#14831620
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26872) - you deserved it (9552)

On 02/03/2011 at 9:14pm - animals - by Disgusted - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

#14791787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25222) - you deserved it (7204)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:46pm - animals - by Wheresthebeefz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

#14779730
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26483) - you deserved it (4693)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm - animals - by birdguts (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49005) - you deserved it (3997) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13751) - you deserved it (20328)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

#14698067
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35977) - you deserved it (7096)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (69086) - you deserved it (3866)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

#14681318
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26915) - you deserved it (4747)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:32am - animals - by krushr (man) - Canada (British Columbia)



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