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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my bird learned to mimic my fire alarm. It proved it to me at 3 am. FML

#15341200
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29514) - you deserved it (4192)

On 03/16/2011 at 8:12pm - animals - by MacGrouber (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

#15309054
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33089) - you deserved it (7562)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

#15298829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26938) - you deserved it (12461)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm - animals - by spaz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26863) - you deserved it (6578)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37314) - you deserved it (3257)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40623) - you deserved it (4396)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31945) - you deserved it (3801)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

#15221957
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26810) - you deserved it (8049)

On 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11191) - you deserved it (30361)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24061) - you deserved it (5650)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

#15164938
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27253) - you deserved it (11804)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm - animals - by nothingisreal69 (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35427) - you deserved it (2380)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15385) - you deserved it (24948)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)



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