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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22621) - you deserved it (2590)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23156) - you deserved it (3374)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27001) - you deserved it (3967)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28041) - you deserved it (21149)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

#17903421
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36754) - you deserved it (3993)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28823) - you deserved it (3346)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML

#17847763
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31002) - you deserved it (2536)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by Jeimaiku - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33333) - you deserved it (4885)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

#17793526
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44723) - you deserved it (3043)

On 09/21/2011 at 3:01am - animals - by socks - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24607) - you deserved it (2046)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)

Today, my friends and I ran through a flock of resting seagulls. The birds took to the skies and chased after us, covering us in shit. FML

#17773363
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8918) - you deserved it (48133)

On 09/18/2011 at 4:17pm - animals - by shithead (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, our electric horse fence broke. I turned it off so I could fix it. As I was grabbing the fence, my brother thought it would be hilarious to turn the fence back on. FML

#17766794
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27824) - you deserved it (2964)

On 09/17/2011 at 7:42pm - animals - by ouch (woman) - United States (New York)



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