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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, the mouse trap I set in my kitchen worked. I caught a snake. FML

Today, I watched my cat walk to her litter box, look at it, then walk across the room to pee on a backpack. FML

#19411591
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25944) - you deserved it (4291)

On 04/05/2012 at 11:07am - animals - by tessamarque - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, while at work, I found a dead dog in a freezer. Turns out it's been in there for over 3 years. FML

#19404286
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29426) - you deserved it (2229)

On 04/03/2012 at 11:27pm - animals - by Scarred (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I woke up to what sounded like twigs snapping. Turns out it was the skull of a live mouse being crushed in my cat's jaws. FML

#19374662
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24605) - you deserved it (2583)

On 03/30/2012 at 3:45am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, the magic of witnessing a sheep giving birth was ruined for me when I slipped and fell in the puddle of birth fluids. FML

#19363731
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27053) - you deserved it (5087)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:02pm - animals - by 3hoursleftofwork (woman) - United Kingdom (Milton Keynes)

Today, I spent 3 hours trying to read my dog's mind. FML

#19361987
171 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7509) - you deserved it (38272)

On 03/28/2012 at 2:57am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, my roommate and I realised our freezer hasn't been working for days. This would be slightly less awful if she hadn't been storing dead rats for her pet snakes in there. Let's just say the smell is interesting. FML

Today, I had a terrible nightmare involving zombies slashing and eating at my face. I woke up in terror and urine, and found the slashing was very real: it was my cat pawing my face for me to feed him. FML

#19344885
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24662) - you deserved it (4194)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, as I was walking my dog, two cute girls from my school were walking towards me on the sidewalk. I thought it would be appropriate to wave and give a smile. My dog thought it would be appropriate to viciously bark at and mount one of the girls. FML

#19343644
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26812) - you deserved it (3311)

On 03/25/2012 at 7:59am - animals - by PicklesMcRaptor - United States (Florida)

Today, I kicked my dog's toy snake out of my way. Then I realised my dog doesn't have a toy snake. FML

#19342755
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32692) - you deserved it (3538)

On 03/25/2012 at 1:49am - animals - by uh-oh - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was out with my dog, who loves to bury things. He had recently torn apart his toy and buried it in the sand. I saw a piece of it sticking out of the ground, so I picked it up. It turns out that I was not holding his toy, but rather a dead bat. FML

Today, instead of waking up to soft sunlight creeping in the window or the gentle trill of birds, I was awakened by the sound of my dog vomiting all over my bed. FML

#19312851
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24997) - you deserved it (2691)

On 03/20/2012 at 7:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, I found out what it feels like to get hit in the head with a bat. Not the wooden kind though. The one that bites and claws you when it gets stuck in your hair. FML

#19309925
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27044) - you deserved it (1952)

On 03/19/2012 at 9:03pm - animals - by CA19oo - United States (Georgia)



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