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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48628) - you deserved it (3973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13719) - you deserved it (20294)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

#14698067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35910) - you deserved it (7091)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68033) - you deserved it (3784)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

#14681318
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26853) - you deserved it (4739)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:32am - animals - by krushr (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

#14658827
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19986) - you deserved it (12267)

On 01/21/2011 at 3:35am - animals - by twinkie2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

#14630933
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7918) - you deserved it (34879)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:49pm - animals - by fml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20489) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

#14552215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10504) - you deserved it (27559)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

#14529858
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7287) - you deserved it (59093)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

#14526378
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10490) - you deserved it (28136)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my cat sneezed directly into my open eyeball. FML

#14505614
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25373) - you deserved it (4849)

On 01/08/2011 at 3:57am - animals - by ciotter (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was driving back from school 100 miles away from my home with my fiancé and dog. While stopping for gas, we accidentally left our car keys and cell phones in the car. The dog sat on one of the keys and engaged the locks. We were locked out of the car until the tow truck arrived. FML

#14474591
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11625) - you deserved it (18090)

On 01/05/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States



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