Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I learned that my house's fly infestation is worse than I thought. I now have maggots crawling and dropping from my ceiling. I have to sleep under them. FML

#14831620
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26811) - you deserved it (9541)

On 02/03/2011 at 9:14pm - animals - by Disgusted - United States (Florida)

Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

#14791787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24497) - you deserved it (7104)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:46pm - animals - by Wheresthebeefz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

#14779730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26424) - you deserved it (4689)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm - animals - by birdguts (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48641) - you deserved it (3973) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13726) - you deserved it (20302)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

#14698067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35915) - you deserved it (7092)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68043) - you deserved it (3785)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

#14681318
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26865) - you deserved it (4741)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:32am - animals - by krushr (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

#14658827
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19997) - you deserved it (12269)

On 01/21/2011 at 3:35am - animals - by twinkie2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

#14630933
210 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7919) - you deserved it (34896)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:49pm - animals - by fml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20491) - you deserved it (2940)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

#14552215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10509) - you deserved it (27571)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

#14529858
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7289) - you deserved it (59109)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)



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