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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21135) - you deserved it (13933)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31527) - you deserved it (2878)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29731) - you deserved it (3321)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31518) - you deserved it (3263)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

#17017863
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12652) - you deserved it (27662)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

#16970335
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39668) - you deserved it (2764)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:11am - animals - by oopsies - United States

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

#16967772
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29379) - you deserved it (2324)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:13am - animals - by emegemerald - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36742) - you deserved it (3747)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it took me 5 hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbors cat running all over the undry paint. FML

#16956212
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25871) - you deserved it (2962)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:47am - animals - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

#16937158
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23017) - you deserved it (8129)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:22pm - animals - by anon - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

#16934037
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47570) - you deserved it (3987)

On 07/01/2011 at 9:05am - animals - by Username - United States (Virginia)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46254) - you deserved it (4333)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30111) - you deserved it (3797)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)



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