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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I spent almost two hours cleaning my fish tank, only to find out that my cat had secretly eaten all of my fish while I was cleaning the tank. FML

#15309054
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33006) - you deserved it (7550)

On 03/14/2011 at 3:52pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my dog started barking very aggressively. Thinking she'd started another gruesome fight with my older dog, I jumped up from the couch, spilling my coffee all over my laptop and dress, and knocked over a vase my grandmother gave me. She was barking at her own shadow. FML

#15298829
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25936) - you deserved it (12159)

On 03/13/2011 at 9:49pm - animals - by spaz (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I set up a mouse trap to kill the rodent plaguing my kitchen. While lying in bed, I heard an unmistakable snap, and ran to see what I'd caught. The mouse trap was missing. I now have a large, angry, and possibly dying animal running around my house. FML

#15275510
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26149) - you deserved it (6501)

On 03/11/2011 at 1:34pm - animals - by mike - United States (North Carolina)

Today, after setting up surveillance in my front yard to see who's dog keeps crapping on my lawn, I finally caught the culprit on film. It was my heroin addict neighbour. FML

#15260051
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36392) - you deserved it (3211)

On 03/10/2011 at 6:09am - animals - by Tom -

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

#15251582
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40529) - you deserved it (4387)

On 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm - animals - by blahhlovely_30 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found a dead squirrel under my son's bed. Apparently, he has been keeping it there as a "pet" for the past week. FML

#15238370
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31886) - you deserved it (3795)

On 03/08/2011 at 6:32am - animals - by ghoul -

Today, a spider dangled an inch away from my face while I was driving. I freaked out and accidentally bumped the car in front of me. Three cops arrived on the scene and I had to explain to them what happened. I can still hear them laughing. FML

#15221957
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26718) - you deserved it (8042)

On 03/06/2011 at 8:48pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that if I don't clean out the litter box everyday, my cat will resort to shitting in the laundry basket. FML

#15188844
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11154) - you deserved it (30309)

On 03/03/2011 at 7:45pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, the dog went nuts at 3am. I searched the yard with a spotlight and machete. Nothing. He may actually just be an asshole. FML

#15184049
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (5640)

On 03/03/2011 at 6:20am - animals - by panda -

Today, as I was driving home from work, a bird decided to commit suicide by flying in front of my car. The shock caused me to slam on the brakes, totaling three other cars in the process. FML

#15164938
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27192) - you deserved it (11789)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:21pm - animals - by nothingisreal69 (woman) - Reserved

Today, I was informed that due to my cat being aggressive and attacking the postman several times, my mail would no longer be delivered to my address. I don't own a cat. FML

#15160394
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35339) - you deserved it (2374)

On 03/01/2011 at 5:41am - animals - by notacatperson (woman) - United Kingdom (Plymouth)

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14918) - you deserved it (24318)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29027) - you deserved it (5925)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)



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