Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29681) - you deserved it (3317)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31456) - you deserved it (3260)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

#17017863
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12630) - you deserved it (27628)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I found out that the 2 loud "firework booms" I heard were actually a guy shooting his dog on the unfinished road behind my house. FML

#16970335
307 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37687) - you deserved it (2614)

On 07/04/2011 at 5:11am - animals - by oopsies - United States

Today, I went to visit my great grandma. I saw that her dog had this red fluid on his ear, so I asked my grandma about it. She said she put red finger nail-polish in his ear so she could tell the difference between 'all' of her dogs. She only has one dog. FML

#16967772
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29323) - you deserved it (2323)

On 07/04/2011 at 12:13am - animals - by emegemerald - United States

Today, while riding a roller coaster I got hit in the chest by a wasp going 80 miles per hour. As if that didn't hurt enough it somehow managed to survive and fell down my shirt. It crawled around and bit me a few times before the ride ended. FML

#16956758
170 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36692) - you deserved it (3742)

On 07/03/2011 at 1:25am - animals - by jreed509 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, it took me 5 hours to paint my deck, only to have it ruined by the neighbors cat running all over the undry paint. FML

#16956212
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25826) - you deserved it (2958)

On 07/03/2011 at 12:47am - animals - by anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran to my car and zoomed to work to avoid being late. I was in such a hurry, I forgot to close all my windows. When I got back to my car, I found a dead squirrel inside. FML

#16937158
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23003) - you deserved it (8121)

On 07/01/2011 at 3:22pm - animals - by anon - United States (Michigan)

Today, my dog died. My parents told me to bury it out back. In the process, I managed to dig up my cat. FML

#16934037
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47491) - you deserved it (3983)

On 07/01/2011 at 9:05am - animals - by Username - United States (Virginia)

Today, I stepped in a turd. Not a dog turd, my grandmother's turd. FML

#16900217
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44749) - you deserved it (4205)

On 06/28/2011 at 4:40pm - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my dog got his head stuck in a container, panicked, and shat himself all over the living room. FML

#16895004
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30052) - you deserved it (3796)

On 06/28/2011 at 8:35am - animals - by hadtocleanthemess (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my beloved guinea pig has impaction. For the rest of his life it will be my duty to clean out his rectum manually every month, or every week/day if it gets worse. FML

#16860122
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29755) - you deserved it (4867)

On 06/26/2011 at 1:39am - animals - by animallover (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the man next to me was feeding the birds when he ran out of food. We were at Adventure Island and there were "Do not feed the birds" signs everywhere. The birds then became aggressive and started savaging the both of us. FML

#16851607
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27876) - you deserved it (4331)

On 06/25/2011 at 3:41pm - animals - by kk (woman) - United States (Florida)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: