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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I tried to save a dying bird I found on the sidewalk. I got a parking ticket for $114 in front of the animal hospital. I later found out the bird died. FML

#14791787
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23330) - you deserved it (6953)

On 01/31/2011 at 9:46pm - animals - by Wheresthebeefz (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after 2 years together, my boyfriend finally proposed. I excitedly said yes. Just as we began to kiss, my half crazed cat ran in, dropped a half eaten bird at our feet, and promptly threw up on the carpet. FML

#14779730
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24889) - you deserved it (4551)

On 01/30/2011 at 9:34pm - animals - by birdguts (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, my cat died while walking around the kitchen. He had a heart attack when the toaster popped out two slices of bread. FML

#14753781
276 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46503) - you deserved it (3815) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/29/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous - France

Today, my cat pissed in my zen garden. FML

#14718702
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13281) - you deserved it (19907)

On 01/26/2011 at 9:48am - animals - by lizzy1843 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was backing out of my snowy drive way on my way to work. I thought I hit a lump of snow. I'd run over my white cat. FML

#14698067
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35385) - you deserved it (7019)

On 01/24/2011 at 1:30pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I woke up, patted my dog and kissed his nose. He was dead. FML

#14693760
194 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62590) - you deserved it (3401)

On 01/24/2011 at 12:40am - animals - by Anonymous - Egypt

Today, I discovered I have bed bugs. I have nowhere else to sleep and I won't be able to afford a new mattress for at least a year. I'd better get used to these giant welts. FML

#14681318
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22673) - you deserved it (3815)

On 01/23/2011 at 12:32am - animals - by krushr (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I treated myself to a cheeseburger. I left it on my coffee table while I grabbed a napkin from the kitchen. While I was gone my dog ate it. Then puked it up all over my carpet. Which I then had to clean up. FML

#14658827
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18958) - you deserved it (11872)

On 01/21/2011 at 3:35am - animals - by twinkie2 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I let my dogs out, and then realized they didn't have their electric fence collars on. I ran inside to get the collars, then dashed out to put them on my dogs. I ran through the electric fence. The collars were on. FML

#14630933
209 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7235) - you deserved it (32691)

On 01/18/2011 at 8:49pm - animals - by fml (woman) - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend and I spent 30 minutes listening to my grandmother telling us that my cat is a medium. My boyfriend is totally convinced. FML

#14583588
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15975) - you deserved it (2256)

On 01/14/2011 at 11:24pm - animals - by inchetogb - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I was driving when I saw a spider hanging from the ceiling of my car. I'm terrified of spiders, so I was watching it instead the road. When I looked back at the road, I had just enough time to swerve to miss the fire hydrant but not the tree. Even the cop laughed at me. FML

#14552215
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8493) - you deserved it (20364)

On 01/12/2011 at 8:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I heard my asshole neighbor had died of a stroke. I was outside and said, "Well it's about goddamn time!" I turned around to see his wife walking her dog and staring deep into my soul. FML

#14529858
162 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6946) - you deserved it (58946)

On 01/10/2011 at 3:25am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I fed my cats their usual dinner of canned cat food. Without thinking, I put the spoon I had used for their food into my mouth so I could use both hands to rinse the can before recycling it. FML

#14526378
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8929) - you deserved it (24568)

On 01/09/2011 at 10:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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