Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, my friend and I went for a late night walk along the beach. We decided to sit down on a log. It was a dead seal. FML

#17447833
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43527) - you deserved it (6417)

On 08/12/2011 at 3:44am - animals - by squishylog - United States (California)

Today, I was preparing food in the microwave. I hadn't noticed that a fly had flown in until I noticed its melted corpse engraved into my hot-pocket. FML

#17429478
279 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29443) - you deserved it (5408)

On 08/10/2011 at 1:47pm - animals - by Ser17 - United States

Today, I got caught trying to steal my own cat back from my neighbor. FML

#17423512
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29237) - you deserved it (3367)

On 08/09/2011 at 11:00pm - animals - by Nekro_Kat - United States (California)

Today, a downstairs neighbor of mine claimed money from me because apparently my dog took a dump on the fire escape, and the poop fell through the grates and on her groceries. I don't have a dog, but I paid the money anyway, because I was too ashamed to tell her it was my husband. FML

#17421184
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37569) - you deserved it (8145)

On 08/09/2011 at 6:55pm - animals - by Zoe Avila - United States

Today, my mom picked up my dog from the groomers. I came home to find a small female terrier on our couch. My dog is a full grown male maltese. What's worse is that it took me a full 20 minutes to convince my mom that she had picked up the wrong dog. FML

#17384739
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27431) - you deserved it (2531)

On 08/06/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Username - United States (Texas)

Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML

#17371338
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41443) - you deserved it (7571)

On 08/04/2011 at 9:47pm - animals - by dukebluedevils13 - United States (Colorado)

Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML

#17362826
192 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44298) - you deserved it (2982)

On 08/04/2011 at 1:44am - animals - by SydIsPrettyCool - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat died in the process of eating, and choking on, my hamster. FML

#17359587
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41790) - you deserved it (4022)

On 08/03/2011 at 9:19pm - animals - by roze198765 - United States

Today, I decided to play with my dog. I sat on the ground and whistled for him to come to me. I smiled when I saw him running at my happily. He sniffed me, turned around, lifted his leg and peed on me. FML

#17343675
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25534) - you deserved it (4760)

On 08/02/2011 at 1:35pm - animals - by Username - United States

Today, the crazy cat lady who lives next to me lost one of her cats. She sat outside with a whistle at 6:00 this morning and continued to blow her whistle for hours. FML

#17327008
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27374) - you deserved it (2430)

On 08/01/2011 at 12:41am - animals - by Username - United States

Today, my 17 pound cat fell from a counter. It wouldn't have been a big deal if he didn't try to use my leg as a tree to cling onto on the way down. FML

#17312573
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27009) - you deserved it (4404)

On 07/30/2011 at 7:58pm - animals - by Backinzi - United States (Iowa)

Today, in health class, I raised my hand and asked if you could get an STD from dogs. I have officially now ruined any extremely small chance I had of being popular. FML

#17304355
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10653) - you deserved it (73678)

On 07/30/2011 at 12:38am - animals - by loser4life - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31508) - you deserved it (5949)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: