Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I saw my dog sleeping, so I laid next to her and put her arm around my neck to be cute. Only for her to wake up and bite my nose. FML

#15066276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14899) - you deserved it (24281)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:50pm - animals - by phillyfan4life - United States (Delaware)

Today, I found out that the mysterious smell from under my bed was my cats collection of dead mice. FML

#15066024
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28933) - you deserved it (5922)

On 02/21/2011 at 2:20pm - animals - by Giggity - United States (Missouri)

Today, my cat tried to kill me. While I was sleeping, he put his paws on either side of my face and laid down, covering my nose and mouth. While I was struggling to free myself, I could hear my sister laughing next to me. FML

#15051806
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26519) - you deserved it (4348)

On 02/20/2011 at 12:45pm - animals - by Michelle - United States (California)

Today, I had to get into my house via the dog flap because my mom changed the locks. FML

#15029276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27594) - you deserved it (3959)

On 02/18/2011 at 4:18pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I came home to a lease violation and a $220 fine after a routine pest control visit. The violation: my single beta fish in a small bowl. FML

#15023779
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24010) - you deserved it (4142)

On 02/18/2011 at 12:19am - animals - by Username -

Today, I found my mom eating cat biscuits. We don't have a cat. FML

#15015231
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32274) - you deserved it (2861)

On 02/17/2011 at 11:33am - animals - by Aled (man) - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, I was in science class studying dead insects for biology. After packing away the jars, I noticed a red-back spider on the bench. Thinking it was missing from a jar, I picked it up. It wasn't missing. It was alive. FML

#15013181
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28534) - you deserved it (4652)

On 02/17/2011 at 5:39am - animals - by shaunaaa (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, my friend finally convinced me that if I picked up her cat it wouldn't scratch my eyes out. It peed on me instead. FML

#15011616
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22584) - you deserved it (3600)

On 02/17/2011 at 12:58am - animals - by hannah (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I got a ticket for vandalizing public property. I decided to draw a cat on the street outside my house in sidewalk chalk. I'm 20, and I have to explain to my parents why I'm playing with chalk instead of studying. FML

#14990533
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15609) - you deserved it (22595)

On 02/15/2011 at 2:03pm - animals - by AliRocks (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I confirmed that my neighbors burn their garbage in their backyard. How? My dog just threw up a nice smelly consistency of spaghetti, plastic and cigarette butts on my carpet. FML

#14954664
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21567) - you deserved it (3243)

On 02/13/2011 at 3:36am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I cleaned up my dog's crap after my wife asked me. 5 minutes later she yelled at me for being lazy as she slammed the door leaving for work. My dog shit in the exact same spot apparently to make me look stupid. FML

#14952962
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32608) - you deserved it (3182)

On 02/12/2011 at 9:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I opened my car door on reaching destination and my dog escaped. I never found him. My destination was the vet's office to get him micro-chipped. FML

#14932385
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34784) - you deserved it (5507)

On 02/11/2011 at 4:02am - animals - by Jen -

Today, my mum got an electric car. It's so quiet that we could hear the bones of my cat break as we reversed over it on the driveway. FML

#14919566
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54277) - you deserved it (7752)

On 02/10/2011 at 5:58am - animals - by flattened -



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