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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found the same spider which I had let live yesterday hidden in my bath towel. I didn't find it until it was smeared on my face. FML

#18172214
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30391) - you deserved it (11477)

On 11/06/2011 at 7:17am - animals - by dre_bro11 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after a year and a half, I finally admitted to myself that I'm in an abusive relationship. Not with a person though, with my cat. FML

#18145611
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24604) - you deserved it (9392)

On 11/03/2011 at 6:56am - animals - by Nicole557 (woman) - United States

Today, I learned that all it takes to anger my sister's new parrot is to walk past its perch. I also learned that a beak over two inches long is very capable of inflicting injuries that require stitches. FML

#18144949
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24796) - you deserved it (3817)

On 11/03/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I came home after a short trip. Walking through the door, an overpowering smell indicated that in my rush to leave I'd forgotten to bring the cat litter tray indoors. The place was covered in cat urine. It was as if I'd created a cycling ecosystem of evaporated urine turning into urine rain-clouds. FML

#18144620
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11511) - you deserved it (26774)

On 11/03/2011 at 1:18am - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I was hurriedly doing laundry. I threw a second load in the dryer and slammed the door shut. All of a sudden, I heard scratching and whining coming from the dryer. My cat probably hates me now. FML

#18129545
286 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15746) - you deserved it (35860)

On 11/01/2011 at 3:02pm - animals - by benji - United States (Michigan)

Today, I drove home on my birthday, and my mom said she'd meet me there. I was a little surprised to get home and find she wasn't there, but even more shocked to see my rabbit run over in my driveway. Turns out he'd gotten loose and my mom had run him over, panicked, and left. FML

#18101830
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29562) - you deserved it (2057)

On 10/29/2011 at 7:02am - animals - by Noname - United States

Today, my elderly neighbor called the police because my cat was in her yard. I now have a citation and a court date. Apparently, there is a leash law for cats in my town, and it is taken very seriously. FML

#18100684
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25876) - you deserved it (5298)

On 10/29/2011 at 12:51am - animals - by Fought The Law - United States (Georgia)

Today, my son got really high and shaved the dog with my electric shaver. Not only does the dog look really bad, I didn't know my son used drugs. I now have to buy the dog a sweater and get my son some help. FML

#18078195
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31183) - you deserved it (4952)

On 10/26/2011 at 1:43am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was napping. I woke up to my pillow making some sounds. Thinking it was my head shifting my pillow, I went back to sleep. Later on I woke up to the sounds again, and a mouse staring at my face. FML

#18070183
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28201) - you deserved it (3058)

On 10/25/2011 at 3:17am - animals - by pinkjade - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I mopped all the floors in my house. When I was finally done, I accidentally knocked over an open bottle of soda. My cats took this as a perfect opportunity to chase each other around, step in the soda, and track sticky paw prints everywhere. FML

#18055986
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25735) - you deserved it (6667)

On 10/23/2011 at 5:02pm - animals - by kengu (woman) - Norway (Vestfold)

Today, it took me and my husband three hours to put our new book shelves together. It took our cat all of three seconds to knock it all down. FML

#18039079
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25921) - you deserved it (5032)

On 10/21/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was just about to sit down to watch my favorite TV show when my dog jumped over the back of my couch, landed on my head and tried to jump through the window. I now have concussion and a window to replace, all because of a bird. FML

#18038155
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24538) - you deserved it (2808)

On 10/21/2011 at 11:35am - animals - by Mr.P - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I went to the store with my girlfriend. She needed to use the bathroom so I started looking at the books. It wasn't until the manager shot me a weird look that I realized I'd wandered down too far and was looking at bridal magazines, holding tampons, dog treats, and hair spray. FML

#18036451
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24097) - you deserved it (4348)

On 10/21/2011 at 1:42am - animals - by Dv0829 - United States (Utah)



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