Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19795) - you deserved it (32836)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I found out that my dog is so lazy, she doesn't even get out of my bed in the morning to poop. FML

#15591569
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31452) - you deserved it (6348)

On 04/01/2011 at 5:12pm - animals - by poopybed - United States (Illinois)

Today, I discovered my cat frequently licks my toothbrush. FML

#15525656
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31594) - you deserved it (5452)

On 03/28/2011 at 1:56am - animals - by upliftmofo - Belgium

Today, on the way home from the dog groomer, my great Dane had a bout of diarrhea in the car. I slammed on the brakes and my other freshly shampooed dog slid off the seat and into the pile of crap. FML

#15510596
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28452) - you deserved it (9868)

On 03/27/2011 at 6:06am - animals - by StinkyDogs (man) - United States (California)

Today, my family came back from holiday to discover that my little sister had messed with the cat flap before we left. Several stray cats were able to come in, but were unable to get out, and left shit in various areas around the house. FML

#15500028
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27408) - you deserved it (3780)

On 03/26/2011 at 3:27pm - animals - by cathouse (woman) - United Kingdom (North Down)

Today, my cat fell into the bathtub while walking along the rim. This wouldn't have been so bad if I wasn't in it at the time, and if my skin was immune to being sliced open by a frantic kitty. FML

#15489926
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27011) - you deserved it (4917)

On 03/25/2011 at 10:27pm - animals - by ouch -

Today, my sister presented me with an "official pet killer" award after yet another goldfish under my care died of unknown causes. FML

#15485596
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22655) - you deserved it (9150)

On 03/25/2011 at 5:52pm - animals - by fish killer - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went to a birthday party. A half hour in, a girl started showing me pictures of her cat. That was the high point of the night. FML

#15477659
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26020) - you deserved it (4233)

On 03/25/2011 at 1:50am - animals - by caseyj (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I was playing with my dog. His bouncy ball rolled under the couch, and I got on my hands and knees to get it. He decided it would be a good chance to hump the shit out of me. FML

#15448080
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34462) - you deserved it (10791)

On 03/23/2011 at 12:21pm - animals - by Username - United States (Florida)

Today, my friends thought it would be hilarious to show me Marley and Me the day right after I had to put down my dog. I had my dog for 11 years. FML

#15437013
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53692) - you deserved it (3760)

On 03/22/2011 at 8:18pm - animals - by awesome -

Today, my neighbors got a rooster. FML

#15427360
237 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56917) - you deserved it (6182)

On 03/22/2011 at 3:23am - animals - by negin -

Today, my dog had to choose between protecting me from a mugger or eating an apple. He chose the apple. FML

#15401896
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34761) - you deserved it (4334)

On 03/20/2011 at 4:29pm - animals - by mugged (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my parents fought over who gets the dog when they divorce. Nothing has been said about where my brother and I will live when they split. FML

#15379189
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35749) - you deserved it (3039)

On 03/19/2011 at 5:25am - animals - by unwanted (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



FML's blog

  • FML's Labor Day BBQ
  • The first Monday of September is a holiday in some countries, and is supposed to celebrate Labor Day. So, this means you do nothing to celebrate doing something. I'm confused.  For those of us who…

Monday 1 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: