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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, while handing out business cards to promote my new dog grooming business, I stopped to talk to a potential client. She let me get all the way through my 15 minute speech, before bothering to tell me she didn't have a dog. FML

#16019409
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23839) - you deserved it (11755)

On 05/02/2011 at 2:02pm - animals - by Asirual - United States (Texas)

Today, I took my dog for a walk. He started crapping on someone's lawn, then I noticed that the owner was outside and giving me a death stare. Not knowing what to do, I picked up the crap with my bare hands. The man started laughing at me. FML

#16009360
205 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14843) - you deserved it (44626)

On 05/01/2011 at 8:21pm - animals - by Cassie -

Today, my drunk dad started yelling at my dog for not having a job. FML

#15962479
230 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44871) - you deserved it (4801)

On 04/28/2011 at 11:53am - animals - by Cecilly2010 -

Today, I was absentmindedly playing with a piece of lint. When I looked at it, I realized that I had been rolling and squeezing a dead spider in my fingers for about five minutes. FML

#15947256
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28924) - you deserved it (17270)

On 04/27/2011 at 10:05am - animals - by scarred4life (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my "friend" told me I was weird and irritating. Yet she has an unhealthy obsession with Harry Potter, hates people in general, and has a Facebook for her cat. Yeah, I'm the weird one. FML

#15931410
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34020) - you deserved it (7769)

On 04/26/2011 at 5:45am - animals - by weirdome23 (woman) - United States

Today, while letting horses out to switch pasture, one ran at me, sending me through the electric fence and into a mud puddle. Wrapped in electric fence, I sat in that electric mud puddle, screaming every time it shocked me. Help arrived, once they'd had a good long laugh. FML

#15912544
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32271) - you deserved it (3593)

On 04/24/2011 at 9:11pm - animals - by electricpuddle -

Today, my dog decided to chase a smaller dog for three blocks. When I finally caught up with him, he laid down and refused to go anywhere. I had to carry my 80 pounds Labrador like a baby all the way home. FML

#15905908
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28205) - you deserved it (6788)

On 04/24/2011 at 4:42am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I played Angry Birds for two hours. I got so into the game, I failed to remember that I was sitting on a public toilet. I only realized this when the janitor came to check on me. FML

#15901266
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10795) - you deserved it (47892)

On 04/23/2011 at 9:02pm - animals - by bobo - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my dog disappeared for an hour. After calling her name repeatedly, she crawled out from under my bed, threw up on my feet, and then happily walked out the room. FML

#15893530
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24939) - you deserved it (3698)

On 04/23/2011 at 1:11am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, I'm a student vet. Part of my holiday work is to gain experience working at a dairy. A cow came on to the platform for me to inject her udder. As I was bent over, she decided to take a dump. Onto my left eyeball. FML

#15855335
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40556) - you deserved it (5587)

On 04/20/2011 at 3:27am - animals - by Anonymous - South Africa (Gauteng)

Today, my cat took a shit in my toaster. FML

#15852262
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49808) - you deserved it (8077)

On 04/19/2011 at 10:21pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my friend and I were bouncing around on a trampoline. We brought my dog up to bounce him around. We found it hilarious. He didn't. He attacked us. FML

#15844364
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8541) - you deserved it (74425)

On 04/19/2011 at 6:03am - animals - by sore (woman) - Ireland (Limerick)

Today, I saw a spider crawling across a poster in my bedroom, so I smacked the spot below it to scare the spider into climbing back up the wall. Instead, because the poster wasn't completely flat to the wall, I catapulted the spider straight into my face. FML

#15793137
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17534) - you deserved it (27869)

On 04/15/2011 at 7:47am - animals - by spiderwoman (woman) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)



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