Today, I faced my severe phobia of spiders in order to remove a rather large one from my home. After 20 minutes of desperate struggling, it was finally taken care of. Relieved, I sat down and glanced across the hallway just in time to see a second, equally large spider strutting across the wall. FML

by Lepisma / 06/26/2013 at 3:19am / United States (Texas) / Animals

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I was sitting on the couch with my family. They didn't even notice me there until the dog started barking at me because I took his spot. My mom defended the dog, and now I'm sitting on the floor while a Pomeranian takes up half the couch for himself. FML

Today, I was feeding some ducks. One of them choked to death on the old bread. FML

by Anonymous / 06/24/2013 at 12:41pm / Belgium / Animals

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm / Netherlands (Noord-Brabant) / Animals

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

by Anonymous / 06/21/2013 at 10:28am / United States / Animals

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

by Anonymous / 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm / Pakistan (Punjab) / Animals

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

by CatLover<3 / 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

by skunked / 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

by ouch / 06/15/2013 at 12:48am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

by Anonymous / 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm / United States (New Jersey) / Animals

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

by Rjlup / 06/11/2013 at 10:00am / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

by Anonymous / 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

by SadFoxLady / 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm / United States (Iowa) / Animals