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Today, I was washing my hands in the bathroom when I looked up and saw a spider on my cheek. Panicking, I slapped myself in the face as hard as I could to kill it. Turns out the spider was on the mirror. FML

#18013165
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18418) - you deserved it (37236)

On 10/18/2011 at 2:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister had a friend for a sleepover. They filmed a video in which the friend was lying in my bed, singing. An hour after the girl went home, her parents called. She has lice, and had brought them to our house unknowingly. I can see each and every individual larva on my pillow. FML

#18003524
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36501) - you deserved it (2397)

On 10/17/2011 at 12:04am - animals - by minder97 - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I had to climb up and sit in a tree for half an hour to avoid being mauled by a huge, insane dog. Its weird-looking owner eventually turned up, sneered at me, and walked off with the visibly smug dog in tow. FML

#17974587
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22541) - you deserved it (2585)

On 10/13/2011 at 11:55am - animals - by Doglover - United Kingdom (Southampton)

Today, my upstairs neighbor was leaving the parking lot, and stopped to wave. I smiled and waved back, only to realize that she was saying goodbye to her cat, who was sitting in the window. FML

#17966931
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21300) - you deserved it (3178)

On 10/12/2011 at 11:41am - animals - by octoberrain - United States

Today, I was on a drive with my uncle. We saw a dead deer on the side of the road and expressed our pity for it. Then a squirrel runs across the road and my uncle swerves toward the squirrel, laughing hysterically and yelling, "Run rodent run." FML

#17965176
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24938) - you deserved it (3760)

On 10/12/2011 at 1:14am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was playing video games at 2am. My guinea pig started squealing at me, and wouldn't stop until I turned out the lights and got into bed. I'm 20 years old, and I've let a rodent dictate my bedtime. FML

#17911621
303 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25487) - you deserved it (20040)

On 10/05/2011 at 2:58pm - animals - by Beeisc00l - Reserved

Today, my boyfriend got drunk and tried to french-kiss my dog. Now he has 12 stitches in his face, and he's insisting we have to get my dog put down. FML

#17903421
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33998) - you deserved it (3733)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:03pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, at work I got an urgent message from my boyfriend that there was an emergency and I should come home immediately. I took my last personal day of the month and drove the half-hour home. The emergency? The cat had vomited on the comforter. FML

#17901158
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27166) - you deserved it (3194)

On 10/04/2011 at 12:48am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my ex took my cat and gave her to an animal shelter while I was at work, saying he can't stand living with her any longer. He's moving out in 2 days. FML

#17847763
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28838) - you deserved it (2388)

On 09/27/2011 at 1:40pm - animals - by Jeimaiku - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I bought a UV light so I could detect cat pee, since I was sure my cat was relieving herself on the carpet. I decided to try it out in the living room first. Nearly half the room lit up like a Christmas tree. FML

#17829441
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31562) - you deserved it (4687)

On 09/25/2011 at 12:15pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a fly got stuck up my nose while I was giving a speech. FML

Today, I had to explain to a woman I didn't know that my husband was killed overseas. She replied, "I know exactly how you feel, my dog died last month." FML

#17793526
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44591) - you deserved it (3034)

On 09/21/2011 at 3:01am - animals - by socks - United States

Today, I pulled one of my favorite hoodies out of my closet, and immediately noticed several large stains on it. Apparently, my dad had managed to open a hole in the roof and couldn't be bothered to patch it, so a squirrel got in and used my closet as a litter box. FML

#17778916
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23249) - you deserved it (1925)

On 09/19/2011 at 6:16am - animals - by gs - United States (New York)



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