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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I realized that since I started working full time, the only friend I have left is my cat. Lonely and bored out of my mind, I told him about my day. He decided to end the conversation by shitting on the floor. FML

#17298828
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29822) - you deserved it (5745)

On 07/29/2011 at 3:17pm - animals - by Username - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my husband threw out all of the spices in the cupboard. When I asked him why he said, "Our cat was named Spicy and I can't stand to look at them." Our recently deceased cat's name was Dicey. FML

#17283376
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29467) - you deserved it (2868)

On 07/28/2011 at 2:18am - animals - by Tali (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was walking my dog, and a whole bunch of teenagers were driving around my neighborhood throwing water balloons at people. They followed me for 3 blocks. FML

#17277458
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26358) - you deserved it (2412)

On 07/27/2011 at 4:09am - animals - by CarrieRedburn (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saved a bird from being run over as it lay in the middle of the road. Thinking it had a broken wing or something, I started carrying it home, intending to take it to the vet later. It crapped in my hand and flew away. FML

#17177469
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27775) - you deserved it (8495)

On 07/19/2011 at 1:45pm - animals - by craphanded - United Kingdom (Wiltshire)

Today, it's my birthday. I came downstairs to a cake that said "Happy 8th Birthday Bella!" My name is Sarah and I'm 16. Bella is our dog whose birthday is next month. FML

#17163751
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34457) - you deserved it (2533)

On 07/18/2011 at 2:05pm - animals - by unbirthday (woman) - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

#17151333
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26374) - you deserved it (8162)

On 07/17/2011 at 4:44pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I went on a run with the family dog. I returned home to three missed calls and a hysterical voicemail from my dad. Why? The dog was gone. Not me, his fifteen year old daughter, the dog. FML

#17122857
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30772) - you deserved it (4311)

On 07/15/2011 at 2:23pm - animals - by kacysospacyy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my dog was scooped up by an owl. FML

#17115448
471 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54813) - you deserved it (9329)

On 07/15/2011 at 12:24am - animals - by flipnazn - United States (Texas)

Today, my best friend told me to face my fear of cows and hop over the fence in with them. This resulted in me being chased by a raging cow, and thrusting myself head first over a fence. FML

#17087035
154 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21056) - you deserved it (13903)

On 07/12/2011 at 11:13pm - animals - by MooCow - United States (Montana)

Today, my father spent half an hour trying to convert my cat to Christianity. He has already done this with my other two cats. He's completely serious and thinks they are born-again Christians. FML

#17072330
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31405) - you deserved it (2875)

On 07/11/2011 at 10:15pm - animals - by CatOwner (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML

#17055167
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29648) - you deserved it (3314)

On 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm - animals - by worstfatherever - United States

Today, my mom cooked her dog some potatoes, carrots, beef, rice and peas. She cooks better food for her dog than she will for our family. FML

#17039633
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31418) - you deserved it (3256)

On 07/09/2011 at 10:34am - animals - by iGreen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I helped myself to some homemade biscuits that had been left in the kitchen. I thought they looked a little odd, but they tasted pretty good. I found out later they were homemade dog treats. FML

#17017863
158 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12619) - you deserved it (27602)

On 07/07/2011 at 6:52pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Maine)



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