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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my brother and I drove 3 hours to pick up our puppy. The woman we bought him from said not to put him in the cage for the ride home as he would pee for sure. She recommended I put him on my lap. Not only did he shit on the seat backing out of her driveway, he pissed on me an hour later. FML

#18604645
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22914) - you deserved it (6595)

On 12/25/2011 at 3:09am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I ran full speed into a brick wall because I saw a tiger. On the other side of a zoo cage. FML

#18583606
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7714) - you deserved it (31046)

On 12/22/2011 at 10:02pm - animals - by steve - United States

Today, our dog peed on nearly all the wrapped gifts under our Christmas tree. FML

Today, my boyfriend told me that I can no longer sleep over at his house because his cat doesn't like it. FML

#18573641
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29834) - you deserved it (4127)

On 12/21/2011 at 8:41pm - animals - by kaipodable - United States (California)

Today, after spending hours wrapping the presents for Christmas, I came back into the room to find that my dog had lost his toy, knocked over all the presents, and was frantically ripping at everything to find it. FML

#18545148
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21338) - you deserved it (3004)

On 12/18/2011 at 2:31pm - animals - by dogh8er (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I stepped into a pile of dog shit on my doorstep, along with a note saying, "Keep your dog out of my yard." I don't own a dog. FML

#18542269
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33561) - you deserved it (2568)

On 12/18/2011 at 3:32am - animals - by sammyxoxo - Canada

Today, my cat vomited violently. I can smell it but I can't find it. FML

#18520750
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29432) - you deserved it (3006)

On 12/15/2011 at 4:49pm - animals - by Anonymous - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my dad took me to the 'Super Butcher'. It's basically a warehouse turned into a giant, walk-in meat freezer, complete with headless pig carcasses. I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, my roomate's cats pooped on the floor again. He refuses to clean it up saying it will be easier to clean in 48 hours. FML

#18482264
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24933) - you deserved it (2301)

On 12/11/2011 at 1:57am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I got kicked in the crotch by a horse in my backyard. I don't own a horse. FML

#18444351
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33555) - you deserved it (2819)

On 12/06/2011 at 11:54am - animals - by Rash (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I received a few new fish for my aquarium as presents for my birthday. It just so happened that these fish were carrying diseases that left me with a tank full of dead fish. Happy birthday. FML

#18409440
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28385) - you deserved it (2648)

On 12/02/2011 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I learned that my hairdo must resemble a rat. I found out when a hawk swooped down and dug its claws into my head while I was sunbathing. FML

#18408881
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23889) - you deserved it (5838)

On 12/02/2011 at 12:14am - animals - by inpain - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on the floor playing with my cat. I was holding her in the air, when my sister tripped over the TV cord and unplugged the cable. The TV made a loud fuzzy sound, I got scared and threw my cat in the air. I got scratched in the face by a falling cat. FML

#18384593
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15965) - you deserved it (24648)

On 11/29/2011 at 11:15am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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