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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I spotted a huge spider in my bedroom. I freaked out at first, but I managed to confront my arachnophobia and killed it with a book. I was ecstatic and went to tell my boyfriend. By the time I returned to my room, the "dead" spider had vanished. Now I'm too scared to sleep. FML

#21007608
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39556) - you deserved it (5112)

On 12/27/2013 at 8:37pm - animals - by eyes wide SHIT (woman) - Australia

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to wake me up by sprinkling catnip over me then dropping my cat on top of me. FML

#21007541
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35002) - you deserved it (2823)

On 12/27/2013 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - New Zealand (Canterbury)

Today, my new neighbors moved in. They have a chihuahua that constantly barks all throughout the day. It makes a great addition to my other neighbors that have a rooster that goes off at sunrise every morning. FML

Today, my mother gave me a Christmas present for the first time in 15 years: a dog. Her 16-year-old, untrained, mean dog who wears diapers. FML

Today, I pretended to cry in front of my cat because she doesn't cuddle with me anymore. Yeah, I tried to guilt-trip my cat into loving me. FML

#21003528
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37563) - you deserved it (9477)

On 12/24/2013 at 11:53am - animals - by PityKitty (woman) -

Today, I thought it would be to a good idea to introduce my indoor cat to my dog. The pee stains, multiple scratches, and puncture wounds to my face prove otherwise. FML

#20994387
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29468) - you deserved it (8374)

On 12/16/2013 at 3:52am - animals - by Ramis182 (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I was woken up to the sound of my cat peeing on the pillow next to mine. When I yelled at him, he jumped over my face and off the bed. He was still peeing the entire time. FML

#20993307
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41057) - you deserved it (5928)

On 12/15/2013 at 11:58am - animals - by Cat Piss - United States (Texas)

Today, I was playing with my dog, when she started sniffing my face. Jokingly, I got up and started to sniff her face back and asked "Yeah, how do you like that?" She replied by biting into my face. FML

#20993041
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23257) - you deserved it (29598)

On 12/15/2013 at 1:47am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, my dog played dead just so I would leave him alone. FML

#20991879
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34259) - you deserved it (5586)

On 12/14/2013 at 12:05am - animals - by Crystal_Nicole - United States (Kansas)

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, my husband learned that if he asks me a question while I am dead asleep my answer will most likely be "Yes". Incidentally, I now have a new cat. FML

Today, my friend's dog got hit by a car. I was the only one not in shock, and had to drag the poor thing off the road, then comfort a hysterical friend while the driver verbally abused us and demanded we pay for the repairs to his car. FML

Today, my kittens hunted and killed their first prey. My hamster. FML

#20981341
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40133) - you deserved it (6211) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 12/05/2013 at 1:52am - animals - by Chatons - Switzerland



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