Today, I was at a friend's birthday party when I got a call from my mom telling me to come home because my dog died. When I told my friend that I had to leave because of the loss, she replied with, "Okay, but you brought my gift inside, right?" FML

by natashamilan / 02/25/2015 at 8:43pm / United States (Michigan) / Animals

Today, after 3 years of studying to be a veterinarian, I found out I may not be able to continue. It's not because I'm failing my classes, but because my body has developed an allergy to cats. FML

by cat-astrophic / 02/25/2015 at 10:44am / United Kingdom / Animals

Today, while trying to sleep, I heard what sounded like someone breaking into my house. I ran downstairs, only to find my cat had ripped down my blinds and was tangled up in them, thrashing around the floor like a fish. FML

by Sarah1330 / 02/24/2015 at 11:33pm / United States / Animals

Today, I witnessed the beautiful sight of a tiny baby bird struggling to take flight from its nest. "You can do it," I muttered, which I guess my asswipe of a cat heard as "Quick, go kill that bird and scar me for life, please." FML

by tulisa / 02/20/2015 at 11:25pm / United States (Virginia) / Animals

Today, three days after finally having a bed to sleep on, I woke up with multiple bedbug bites. I can't use my blankets, wear any of my clothes and it's back to sleeping on the floor for me. FML

by fml / 02/20/2015 at 9:54pm / United States (Colorado) / Animals

Today, it was snowing but I had to let my dog out, so I picked him up and carried him outside. I slipped, landed on him and ended up breaking his leg. FML

by anonymous / 02/20/2015 at 6:49pm / United States (Arkansas) / Animals

Today, I was off from school because of an extremely bad barking cough. My neighbours called the police because apparently my cough sounds like someone torturing an animal. FML

by Animal cruelty / 02/19/2015 at 8:46am / Australia / Animals

Today, I found out my dad ate my rabbit when I was 6 years old. He'd told me it ran away. I can't be mad at my dad; he's been dead for 5 years. FML

by jackskellington / 02/10/2015 at 11:34pm / Australia (New South Wales) / Animals

Today, I was chased out of my own house by my wife's lover's dog. FML

by Anonymous / 02/09/2015 at 9:53am / United States (Wisconsin) / Animals

Today, I had my first threesome. It was me, my wonderful girlfriend, and her shithead cat after he decided my balls were a bag of catnip and just had to play with. Things ended pretty fast. FML

by OnlyAvailableID / 02/08/2015 at 3:35am / Australia / Animals

Today, I was awoken by the sound of my pet lizard eating my other pet lizard. FML

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

by juliette / 02/07/2015 at 12:13am / United States (New York) / Animals

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

by ZAnon / 02/06/2015 at 2:06am / United States (Texas) / Animals