Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my drunk dad decided to wake me up by lobbing our cat directly into my now-mauled face. FML

#20739340
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40302) - you deserved it (2839)

On 06/21/2013 at 4:38pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Noord-Brabant)

Today, I again had to quietly sneak in through my bedroom window. I don't live with my parents. I go through my window because my cat thinks everyone who walks in through the door at night is a burglar or something and attacks them. FML

#20738804
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48190) - you deserved it (10146)

On 06/21/2013 at 10:28am - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I discovered the source of the vile stench in my room. My daughter had "saved" a bird from our cat and put it in a box under my bed, hoping to nurse it back to health. She forgot about it, leaving the corpse rotting in there for who knows how long. FML

#20737123
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45122) - you deserved it (3028)

On 06/20/2013 at 12:54pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I tried to explain to my cat why I was single, but then I realized why. FML

#20733893
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42302) - you deserved it (20156)

On 06/18/2013 at 7:27pm - animals - by CatLover<3 - United States (Texas)

Today, I was visiting my childhood home, and I checked out my old treehouse. A family of skunks had made it their home, and I was promptly sprayed upon entering. FML

#20733333
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40598) - you deserved it (6471)

On 06/18/2013 at 2:00pm - animals - by skunked - United States (California)

Today, I returned home from a month long trip overseas to find that my bird sitter has trained my parrot to whisper, "You're going to die" in a sinister voice. FML

#20731669
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49251) - you deserved it (6458)

On 06/17/2013 at 4:07pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I was on the toilet when my cat came in and jumped up on the sink. Apparently my lap looked like a comfier seat, so she jumped onto it. She misjudged the distance, but luckily caught herself by sliding to a stop, with her claws in my bare thighs. FML

#20726715
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40164) - you deserved it (4415)

On 06/15/2013 at 12:48am - animals - by ouch - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I left my dog in the car while I quickly ran into a store. I came out to a woman smashing at my window, screaming that it was too hot in the car for the dog and saying I was being inhumane. The car was still running and the air conditioning was on. FML

#20721457
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58459) - you deserved it (8391)

On 06/12/2013 at 12:47pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I took my pet rabbit to the vet because I had noticed his genitals looked swollen compared to my other rabbit's. It turns out he's just "gifted". The vet laughed at me. FML

#20719275
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43335) - you deserved it (6609)

On 06/11/2013 at 10:00am - animals - by Rjlup - United States (Colorado)

Today, I arrived at my grandparents'. They already had guests so I had to sleep in the cottage. It wasn’t that bad until when I was making the bed I found a dead rotting possum in the blankets. When I told my grandmother, she simply said, "Deal with it, wimp." FML

#20718430
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41755) - you deserved it (4054)

On 06/10/2013 at 10:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, after years of researching and saving money, I got a pet fox. I was able to enjoy the majesty of the animal for three hours before it burrowed under the fence and ran away. FML

#20717566
308 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34298) - you deserved it (50382)

On 06/10/2013 at 2:01pm - animals - by SadFoxLady (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my mother and grandmother informed me that my sixteen-year-old dog died. I was standing in Wal-Mart at the time. They then yelled at me because crying in public is "inappropriate." FML

#20716871
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50062) - you deserved it (3689)

On 06/10/2013 at 1:26am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend of 3 months moved in to my apartment. I had never been to his place because his roommate was a drug addict, so it came as quite a surprise when he brought three taxidermied cats with him, insisting that I let him mount them in the living room. FML

#20711674
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36220) - you deserved it (10866)

On 06/07/2013 at 1:12pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)



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