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Today, in preparation for a third interview for my dream job, I spent an hour selecting the perfect outfit. I hung everything on my bedroom door and went to shower. My dog decided to play tug-of-war with the clothing and redesign the shoes. The only thing to survive unscathed was the hanger. FML

#20681337
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37424) - you deserved it (6688)

On 05/23/2013 at 6:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I got a new cat. It was fine for a couple of hours until it gave birth in my kitchen. The seller claims to have no idea that it was pregnant. Now I have to take care of 7 cats instead of 2. FML

#20676137
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37634) - you deserved it (6085)

On 05/20/2013 at 7:23pm - animals - by catcraze - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got my nails, hair, and makeup professionally done for prom. My dad got his camera out, and I presumed he was taking pictures of my date and me. When I looked at the pictures later, they were all of the dog. FML

#20673563
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39658) - you deserved it (3885)

On 05/19/2013 at 6:33pm - animals - by rach (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, after coming home from school, I found that two birds have made a nest above the porch light. This wouldn't be a problem if they stopped attacking me every time I get within 5 feet of them. FML

#20663096
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36846) - you deserved it (3176)

On 05/14/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by Locked Out - United States

Today, I visited my grandparents at their farm. When I went to pee in the outhouse, I noticed a round thing in the middle of the hole, so I peed on it. It was a beehive. FML

#20660609
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41798) - you deserved it (20698)

On 05/13/2013 at 11:06am - animals - by random (man) - United States

Today, our cat died. My five-year-old tried to flush him down the toilet. FML

Today, at work, I was trying to get the octopus out of its tank to transfer it to another one. It instantly latched to my face and sprayed ink all over me. My boss told me to stop playing with the animals. FML

#20653962
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49183) - you deserved it (5265)

On 05/10/2013 at 8:37am - animals - by FenRackety (man) - Canada

Today, I turned 35. Because I'm still single, my sister bought me a cat to help start my "inevitable collection." FML

#20647961
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44780) - you deserved it (5817)

On 05/07/2013 at 4:17pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I did my small part to help the environment by hanging my clothes outside to dry rather than using the dryer. The birds showed their appreciation by crapping on the majority of my clothes. FML

#20647651
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40902) - you deserved it (12180)

On 05/07/2013 at 1:10pm - animals - by hitchcock2013 (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making tea when I smelled something burning. My very fluffy cat had put his tail right next to the open flame and burnt his fur. Now I have a semi-hairless cat and a very smelly apartment. FML

#20647478
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41003) - you deserved it (6850)

On 05/07/2013 at 10:18am - animals - by AussieG75 (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dog had her stomach pumped because she ate some cookies. The 100 cookies I made for a bake sale to be exact. FML

#20636616
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39359) - you deserved it (6154)

On 05/02/2013 at 8:50am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, the neighbors in the next apartment reported me to the police for screaming at my newborn to "shut the hell up" every time he cries. I would never yell at my baby. My asshole of a dog on the other hand barks at everything, which terrifies the baby, causing him to cry. FML

Today, I took my wife's cat to the vet for her yearly check up. I'm finishing the day at the hospital with multiple bite wounds and a deep gash in my leg. My wife chose to comfort her cat instead. FML

#20632607
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38763) - you deserved it (4122)

On 04/30/2013 at 12:03pm - animals - by good husband - Canada



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