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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my cat regurgitated his food right on top of a heating vent located on my floor. Now the whole house smells like hot vomit. FML

#21501908
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21579) - you deserved it (1959)

On 12/09/2015 at 2:26pm - animals - by Jack W. - United States

Today, I lost my balance trying to get my bag out of my car. In doing so, my lips came in contact with some bird poop. FML

#21501325
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19777) - you deserved it (1984)

On 12/07/2015 at 11:38pm - animals - by shitlicker - United States (California)

Today, my cat managed to digest some of the grass she ate. This makes her poop come out daisy-chained, and sometimes leaves a piece dangling from her ass on a string of grass. Then she runs around like crazy until it falls off, if possible on my bed. I had to catch her and pull it out by hand. FML

Today, it was my first day working at a dog boarding kennel. I got bit... by my coworker. FML

#21500142
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21691) - you deserved it (1512)

On 12/04/2015 at 7:47pm - animals - by not twilight - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I felt like Cinderella. No, I didn't lose a shoe in public. Nor did I dance with Prince Charming. But I did get a visit from tiny wild mice in my home. FML

#21498518
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20453) - you deserved it (2558)

On 11/30/2015 at 11:07am - animals - by ModernCindy - United Kingdom (Blackpool)

Today, my mom prevented me from walking a neighbor's dog because she said I'm obsessed with it. I walk the dog three times a day because that's what the neighbors pay me to do. FML

Today, my mother refused to buy a cat because my sister is allergic to them. She bought a rabbit instead. I'm allergic to rabbits. FML

#21496419
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23452) - you deserved it (1393)

On 11/24/2015 at 8:01pm - animals - by anonymous - Canada

Today, my parents finally fulfilled my childhood dream and got a puppy, after years of me nagging at them. The only downside is that I no longer live at home and he's not mine. FML

#21496066
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20816) - you deserved it (2031)

On 11/23/2015 at 10:25pm - animals - by Haze (woman) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I cleaned up the dog poop from around the back yard. This is how I discovered that my dog's favorite snack appears to be used condoms. FML

#21494104
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20570) - you deserved it (2689)

On 11/18/2015 at 6:40pm - animals - by jlujan00 - United States (New Mexico)

Today, while changing the litter in the cat box, the brand new carton ripped open, spilling all twelve pounds of cat litter over my kitchen floor. Both cats promptly rushed over and began frantically urinating all over it. FML

Today, my mother informed me that she sold my dog to pay off some bills. FML

#21490317
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29741) - you deserved it (1704)

On 11/09/2015 at 9:58am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after several months desperately searching for a job and feeling pretty insecure and unimportant, I drove 15 miles to a job interview. On parking my car at the destination, I found that during my drive a spider had been making a cobweb between the car and my hair. FML

#21489841
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20543) - you deserved it (1665)

On 11/08/2015 at 5:03am - animals - by Geemeisters - United Kingdom (Warwickshire)

Today, our dog died. My daughter was really upset about it, so my husband tried to cheer her up. "At least she will be doing something that she liked forever: Sleeping!" My daughter continued to cry for half an hour. FML

#21488594
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21064) - you deserved it (1832)

On 11/04/2015 at 10:57pm - animals - by Why? - United States (Iowa)



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