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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my mom called me an attention seeker and threw a bitch fit because my cat "decided" to die on her birthday. FML

#21351283
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34057) - you deserved it (2407)

On 02/07/2015 at 12:13am - animals - by juliette (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 97-pound pitbull wagged and chased his tail while I was being mugged. FML

#21350749
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36027) - you deserved it (3662)

On 02/06/2015 at 2:06am - animals - by ZAnon - United States (Texas)

Today, my boss brought his cat to the office. Despite our no pet policy, I still managed to get the blame when the crazy animal scratched 3 colleagues and peed on the floor after my boss left for bathroom. Apparently I was supposed to be "looking after it". FML

#21350702
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30063) - you deserved it (2225)

On 02/06/2015 at 12:16am - animals - by anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

#21348955
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30802) - you deserved it (2732)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:26am - animals - by dogbreederssuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

Today, I got attacked by a monkey. My country isn't even supposed to have monkeys in it. FML

#21346049
98 comments

Today, I shaved my beard in preparation for an important work conference. Now my dog won't stop growling and barking at me. FML

#21345020
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27744) - you deserved it (3374)

On 01/27/2015 at 10:09am - animals - by dogproblems (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my cat had the bright idea of giving birth in the dryer, on top of all my new white towels. FML

#21344486
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27752) - you deserved it (5606)

On 01/26/2015 at 10:21am - animals - by HannaMD - Canada

Today, it's been 3 months since my dog scratched my 9 year old granddaughter after she walked over and repeatedly kicked him. My daughter has disowned me and won't let me see my own grandchildren until I have my companion of 11 years "destroyed". FML

#21343453
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40010) - you deserved it (2762)

On 01/24/2015 at 1:33pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Romania (Giurgiu)

Today, I spent a half hour trying to help my cat down after he got stuck in the tree on my lawn. I finally gave up and called a local tree care company to help. When I returned outside, I found my cat casually walking about by the door. The guy who showed up to help was not happy. FML

#21341011
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (5253)

On 01/20/2015 at 3:24pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

#21339043
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25244) - you deserved it (9937)

On 01/17/2015 at 5:30pm - animals - by bad luck Bianca - United States (Texas)

Today, I was accused of letting my dog take a shit on the sidewalk and not picking it up. My dog's a chihuahua, and the turd was almost longer than he is. I got fined anyway. FML

#21339093
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31221) - you deserved it (5510) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 01/17/2015 at 4:12pm - animals - by Titatoum - Belgium (Brussels Hoofdstedelijk Gewest)

Today, I told my dog to give me the stick he had in his mouth so I could throw it for him. After I picked it up I realized it was a dried-out piece of shit. FML

#21338477
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23467) - you deserved it (12948)

On 01/16/2015 at 7:37pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I wanted to surprise my roommate by picking her up from class with her dog. Her dog decided to surprise me by dumping a load on my passenger seat. FML

#21337685
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19400) - you deserved it (15951)

On 01/15/2015 at 3:30pm - animals - by surprise - United States (Mississippi)



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