Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38201) - you deserved it (3498)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37197) - you deserved it (4234)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

#21263396
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28230) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm - animals - by madisonbubch - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML

Today, I was home sick and playing with my dog. I suddenly felt the urge to throw up, so I sprinted to the bathroom. My dog thought this was an invitation to chase me and tackle me to the floor. FML

#21259489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35645) - you deserved it (3733)

On 09/16/2014 at 2:46pm - animals - by furryfriend (woman) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I got high for the first time. Apparently I called my vet and told him my goldfish was barking. I found out when he called me back later to make sure we were both okay. FML

#21258033
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31913) - you deserved it (18307)

On 09/14/2014 at 12:38pm - animals - by Anonymous - Ghana (Greater Accra)

Today, I realized that my dog is a pro at pooping directly in shoes. FML

#21257810
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36259) - you deserved it (3762)

On 09/13/2014 at 11:38pm - animals - by new dog - United States (Maryland)

Today, I discovered that one of our cats is super creepy. He humps the blankets on my mother's bed while staring at her while she's sleeping. FML

#21257305
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38631) - you deserved it (3390)

On 09/13/2014 at 2:56am - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, it's my birthday, and everyone, family and friends, forgot. Except my dog who left me a present on my bed. FML

#21253357
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39050) - you deserved it (2788)

On 09/06/2014 at 11:06pm - animals - by Meowit (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my cat decided to use my bowl of rice krispies as his litter box. FML

Today, I bought a new beanbag chair. My cat thought it was a great scratcher and I now have thousands of tiny plastic balls around the house. He decided those looked yummy, and now the scent of vomit and plastic is awful. FML

#21251355
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32162) - you deserved it (5057)

On 09/03/2014 at 7:13pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my goat decided my hairstyle was so last season and restyled it for me with his teeth. FML



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