Today, my 2-year-old cat finally decided to start catching mice. Like any other cat would, she left it for me to find. I found it in the middle of the night, as my bare foot rolled its guts out of its ass. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18289) - you deserved it (1361)
On 09/12/2012 at 2:31pm - animals - by shadokis (man) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I bought some bitter-apple spray to stop my puppy chewing on everything. Later, I found out how effective it was, when I tried to eat a sandwich, and gagged at the horrifying taste on my hands. My dog seems unaffected, and continues to chew the table legs. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13275) - you deserved it (2373)
On 09/04/2012 at 4:34pm - animals - by badwolf (man) - United States
Today, my fully grown, 90-pound German Shepherd sniffed and wagged his tail as a guy mugged me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16870) - you deserved it (1290)
On 09/02/2012 at 10:07pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)
Today, my boyfriend and I were watching TV and there were penguins laying eggs. He said, "Penguins are mammals, they don't lay eggs." I replied, "Penguins are birds." We fought about it for ages until he realised that I was right, and has since stopped talking to me. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15352) - you deserved it (1540)
On 09/02/2012 at 8:10pm - animals - by difference between birds and mammals. - Australia
Today, a dog attacked me. Its owner, instead of apologizing and helping me, said it was my own fault for making it think I was an attacker by running past them. We were on a jogging track. FML
I agree, your life sucks (19038) - you deserved it (1057)
On 09/01/2012 at 7:15pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)
Today, there's a cricket in my apartment. I don't know if I'm more annoyed by the fact that it somehow got up three flights of stairs to get here, or that my cat is so excited about it that he's jumping on me and howling in my face to announce the cricket's presence instead of killing it. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13385) - you deserved it (1381)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:49am - animals - by calivianya (woman) - United States (North Carolina)
Today, I made the mistake of telling my dentist that my dog died. She spent the next half-hour talking about her pets and how they died. I ended up crying in her dentist's chair. FML
I agree, your life sucks (13325) - you deserved it (1695)
On 08/28/2012 at 12:43am - animals - by anonya - United States (California)
Today, my dog head-butted me in the mouth so hard that my lip split open. Twenty minutes later, I unthinkingly sprayed perfume directly into the wound. FML
I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (15087)
On 08/26/2012 at 2:27pm - animals - by g'day cunt (woman) - Australia (South Australia)
Today, I had to hunt down and collect a stray dog's feces for my parasitology class. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12131) - you deserved it (1997)
On 08/25/2012 at 3:11pm - animals - by missTyfied (woman) - Philippines (Rizal)
Today, my dog was diagnosed with depression. I got him to help with my depression. I guess we can just be miserable together. FML
I agree, your life sucks (20940) - you deserved it (1749)
On 08/24/2012 at 11:45am - animals - by alix - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I was taking a relaxing bath. My cat decided to sit on the ledge, which is normal for her, but today she fell in. I never knew how painful it was to be scratched down there until today. FML
I agree, your life sucks (14287) - you deserved it (1588)
On 08/24/2012 at 5:33am - animals - by murphy22 - United States (Oklahoma)
Today, while working at the pet store, I had to feed the snakes. I'd thawed too many mice, so instead of wasting one, I fed it to our turtles. They decided to play tug of war with it, ripping it in half in front of several terrified children. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6662) - you deserved it (15808)
On 08/23/2012 at 12:50pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I packed my bags and left for the airport. When I passed through security, the X-ray scanner discovered that my cat had also come along for the ride. FML
I agree, your life sucks (18073) - you deserved it (2085) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!
Friday 24 May 2013
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