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Man or woman?

Today, I learned that I'm the only person in my family that our new cat likes. She sleeps on my bed and always sits in my lap and despises everyone else. I'm allergic to cats. FML

#21070365
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42379) - you deserved it (4044)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:05pm - animals - by Good choice cat (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my cat decided that instead of using the brand-new scratching post I bought him, he was going to use my pant leg while I was asleep. FML

#21070082
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33285) - you deserved it (3778)

On 02/24/2014 at 2:20am - animals - by tornkhakis - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was walking a dog at the animal hospital where I work when it pooped out a rag-like object. I told the doctor, who told me to clean it off to see what it was. It was a rainbow-colored thong. We have to give it back to the owner when they pick their dog up. FML

#21069925
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36658) - you deserved it (2907)

On 02/23/2014 at 11:01pm - animals - by crap - United States (Nevada)

Today, after being worried for a week because my dog wasn't eating, I paid the vet $120 for her to tell me that my dog doesn't like her dog food. FML

#21069128
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36751) - you deserved it (7672)

On 02/23/2014 at 3:10am - animals - by dsamanthas - United States (California)

Today, while driving, I saw a dog run across the road. Feeling sorry for the pup on a cold, rainy night, I pulled my car over to pick it up. Once in, it started freaking out so I turned on the light. It was then that I realized I'd just put a wild coyote on my passenger seat. FML

Today, out of boredom, I built my cat a little fort. Later, I decided to crawl inside to pet her, but as soon as I stuck my head in, she clawed me. I guess I'm not allowed in, then. FML

#21061796
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38792) - you deserved it (8537)

On 02/15/2014 at 7:50pm - animals - by unloved cat owner - United States (California)

Today, in the very middle of the night, my kitten started rubbing against my face. Thinking I saw her face in the darkness, I decided to kiss her before going back to bed. My lips made contact with her butthole. FML

#21058991
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47200) - you deserved it (17113)

On 02/13/2014 at 10:20am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Nevada)

Today, I yelled at my boyfriend's cat for staring at me, then cried about it for an hour. Pregnancy life. FML

#21056743
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42981) - you deserved it (9044)

On 02/10/2014 at 10:16pm - animals - by alii2349 - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, whilst getting out of the shower, I tripped on the lip of the siding, bruising my middle toe. I fell, and in doing so, squished my cat. She won't even make eye contact and keeps wheezing. I have a feeling she is plotting my death. FML

Today, something ran across my foot while I was on the toilet. Hearing me scream, my husband ran in. We now have a new "pet" mouse named Jerry that I am not allowed to kill under threat of divorce. FML

Today, a robin flew into my window and died. My mom, being a biology teacher, thought it would be a great experience for my brother and me to dissect it on the kitchen table. She threatened to ground us if we didn't do it. FML

#21054692
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42866) - you deserved it (3859)

On 02/08/2014 at 6:24pm - animals - by sciencesadness (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my dogs freaked out and started getting violent because they thought the sound of my vibrator was the other's growling. FML

#21048300
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40966) - you deserved it (10317)

On 02/02/2014 at 4:50pm - animals - by foops (woman) - United Kingdom



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