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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my neighbor finally decided that when she walks her dog, she should pick up his poop. She also decided to leave the poop-filled bags in my driveway. I confronted her about this and she claimed it's never happened. I've watched her multiple times from my front window. FML

#21281417
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31278) - you deserved it (2550)

On 10/19/2014 at 11:00pm - animals - by Why Me - United States (Indiana)

Today, I laughed at my grandma's chihuahua poodle mix, as it barked at me entering the house. "What are you going to do, nibble me to death?" is apparently enough to make it jump and bite me. I needed five stitches. FML

#21280619
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29047) - you deserved it (11838)

On 10/18/2014 at 7:05pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I learned that if you give a squirrel a cookie, he'll climb up your pants in search of more cookies. FML

Today, it's my mom's birthday. Got the perfect gift, the perfect card and of course the perfect cake. Well, it was the perfect cake until my dog's ass crushed it. FML

Today, I was boxing up all my brother's old stuff to take to the attic. I came across a box, and without checking what was inside, I took it up, just to have it fall on my head, to then find out it was filled with dead baby hamsters. FML

#21276741
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36620) - you deserved it (3624)

On 10/13/2014 at 4:13am - animals - by MissBeyoncé - Namibia (Windhoek)

Today, I had to write, "Do not use to freeze cat," on my bag of ice because my sister's cat died, and she refuses to bury it. FML

#21275907
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30801) - you deserved it (2588)

On 10/11/2014 at 11:14pm - animals - by MrG - United States

Today, I showed my mom a picture of a baby sloth. She then said, "Wait, sloths are real?" She thought Ice Age made them up. FML

#21273306
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38413) - you deserved it (3459)

On 10/08/2014 at 2:02am - animals - by queenmeme - United States (California)

Today, I got robbed. I just moved so I didn't have much in my new house. They did decide that my cat was valuable enough to steal. FML

#21271461
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45537) - you deserved it (2955)

On 10/05/2014 at 7:30pm - animals - by FML - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to a mouse sitting on my pillow and chewing on my hair. FML

#21271220
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37704) - you deserved it (3443)

On 10/05/2014 at 1:04pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my dog got so excited about a new toy that she vomited all over it. I had to clean up the vomit, throw away the toy, and now have a very sad dog. FML

#21265865
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (4232)

On 09/26/2014 at 3:44pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

#21263396
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28221) - you deserved it (2740)

On 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm - animals - by madisonbubch - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I tried to scare what I thought was a stray cat away from my friend's car in our work parking garage by hitting the panic button on his keys, which did, indeed, make the creature panic. That's when I learned it was not a cat. It was a skunk. FML



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