Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I bought my cat a fun toy at the one of a kind craft show. It has catnip in it, which he loves. He flipped out, so I took it away. He won't stop trying to break into the cupboard I put it in. My cat has a drug problem. FML

#21310320
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29953) - you deserved it (5333)

On 12/02/2014 at 7:56pm - animals - by allykat - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my little brother learned about mortality when our dog died. Since then, he's gone a little nuts and keeps ranting that he sees no point as to why our other dog should live. He's 16. FML

#21306062
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30763) - you deserved it (2470)

On 11/26/2014 at 7:09am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (KwaZulu-Natal)

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

#21305734
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26904) - you deserved it (2428)

On 11/25/2014 at 10:28am - animals - by ratqueen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I spent an hour in my car terrified to go inside because I thought my house was being burgled. I saw rapid shadows in the light of my lounge. Eventually I plucked up the courage to creep inside with a rock to find it wasn't a robber. It was my cats, fighting in front of a toppled lamp. FML

#21305532
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28894) - you deserved it (6118)

On 11/24/2014 at 11:21pm - animals - by amazinghermit (woman) - United Kingdom (Glasgow City)

Today, I noticed my fish was still hungry after feeding him earlier. I figured, "Eh, a little bit more won't kill him". I was wrong. FML

#21303699
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31705) - you deserved it (9187)

On 11/22/2014 at 2:22am - animals - by liishax3 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, it took a whole half hour of scratching my head before I realized with horror that the weird tickling sensation I'd been feeling was actually a spider crawling around in my hair. FML

#21302674
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33338) - you deserved it (2973)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:23am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my friendly neighbor asked me to check in on his apartment every few days while he's gone on vacation. You can imagine my horror when I walked in for the first time and found out he's a snake breeder. Twelve more days to go. FML

#21302388
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30250) - you deserved it (3337)

On 11/19/2014 at 9:43pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went out to get milk from the garage fridge for my mom. The moment I stepped out, my foot settled on the neighbor's boa, who likes to escape. After my mom finally opened the door to my frantic shouting, she spotted the snake, slammed the door, and locked both of us outside. FML

#21301160
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34010) - you deserved it (2753)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:35am - animals - by blindsparrow - United States (California)

Today, at work, a crazy customer forced me to promise to take a holiday greeting picture of my cat and myself for her. She says she'll be back and expects one. FML

#21300741
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29709) - you deserved it (3359)

On 11/17/2014 at 1:48pm - animals - by not crazy enough (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I got home and found my wife cuddling with the dog and our new kitten. Both the cat and my wife hissed at me when I tried to join in. FML

#21298618
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34088) - you deserved it (3955)

On 11/13/2014 at 9:14pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, while bringing boxes up from the basement, I noticed a few spider egg sacs had stuck to my shirt. As I desperately tried to remove them, they hatched. FML

#21298452
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44173) - you deserved it (3485)

On 11/13/2014 at 5:20pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I saw a long black hair coming out of the drain. Thinking it was my sister's, I called her in and pulled it out for her to see, only to realize I was actually pulling out a long brown roach by the antenna. FML

#21296899
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36540) - you deserved it (4872)

On 11/11/2014 at 11:56am - animals - by izzy46111 - United States (Arizona)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: