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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boss brought her cat to work. At one point, I looked up and everyone was staring at me staring at the cat's asshole. FML

#20915004
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32369) - you deserved it (14038)

On 10/10/2013 at 10:11am - animals - by failure (man) - Korea, Republic of (Seoul-t'ukpyolsi)

Today, my boyfriend came over for the first time after we made up from a huge fight. He loves my cat, but she's sick right now so she wouldn't play with him. He yelled at me for "making" her not like him by "telling her lies". FML

#20910894
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44836) - you deserved it (4595)

On 10/07/2013 at 12:20pm - animals - by littlekellilee (woman) - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I woke up to my cat slowly dragging her paw across my face. I opened my eyes to see a bloody mouse dangling an inch from my face. It was still twitching. FML

#20908715
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42705) - you deserved it (3581)

On 10/05/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by animal lover... -

Today, I realized that my dog is an evil genius. As I sat down to have a snack, he barked as if he saw someone outside. I went to check it out, but nobody was there. When I returned, I found my dog on the table finishing off my bacon sandwich. FML

#20908563
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42414) - you deserved it (7756)

On 10/05/2013 at 4:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Manchester)

Today, I woke up, got dressed, and left for the 1 hour drive to the nearest vet. When I arrived, I realized that I left my cat in its carrier on my kitchen counter. FML

#20908268
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39452) - you deserved it (23951)

On 10/05/2013 at 12:00pm - animals - by wasted_gas - United States (Georgia)

Today, I moved into a new house, I couldn't help but notice a car alarm going off, so I investigated my neighbors. Turns out it's their bird. It imitates chainsaws, car alarms, and much more. FML

#20908147
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42397) - you deserved it (3019)

On 10/05/2013 at 9:51am - animals - by Mike Messenger - United States (Florida)

Today, my dog tore up a single book from the dozens within his reach. That book was titled "How to Train Your Dog". FML

#20907686
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39073) - you deserved it (5073) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 10/04/2013 at 7:00pm - animals - by iet_Wyrda (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dog figured out she can wipe her butthole on my walls after having squeezed out a turd or two. FML

#20905661
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38006) - you deserved it (3266)

On 10/03/2013 at 4:26am - animals - by hoo flung pu - United States

Today, my mom and I got the answer to the question, "Is our dog really dumb enough to jump out of the window of a moving vehicle?" The answer: Yes. FML

#20904318
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41806) - you deserved it (5758)

On 10/02/2013 at 2:36am - animals - by BasketGhost - United States (New York)

Today, my two parrots decided that my head was the best place to have sex. FML

#20903328
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41725) - you deserved it (5330)

On 10/01/2013 at 1:32pm - animals - by NestHead (woman) - Russian Federation (Moscow City)

Today, while I was pet-sitting for my boyfriend's parents, one of their dogs killed one of their kittens. FML

#20901891
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46897) - you deserved it (4861)

On 09/30/2013 at 12:23pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I was getting my cat some canned food. Out of habit I licked the spoon after I had emptied the can only to realize too late what I had done. FML

#20886441
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38227) - you deserved it (16552)

On 09/18/2013 at 10:53am - animals - by OldHabitsDieHard - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, as I started my car, I heard the most horrific sounds coming from the engine. When I lifted the hood I realized I'd found my son's cat. FML



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