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Today, I found out where my sister's pet lizard escaped to. I also found out that the little shit likes to hide in dark, cold places. I discovered this when I heard the bastard squeal as I started the lawnmower. FML

#21435132
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23436) - you deserved it (1948)

On 07/01/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by Alex Andreas - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a dog bit me on the bus. Instead of apologising, its owner said it was my fault because my hands "must smell of meat". I'm a vegetarian. FML

Today, my docile gerbil was startled by a car alarm. He dove into my tank top and bit straight through my nipple. FML

#21434340
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23867) - you deserved it (2277)

On 06/30/2015 at 12:02pm - animals - by piercednipple (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my brother tried cremating our deceased cat. In the oven. My nose has killed itself. FML

Today, I walked in on a raccoon viciously tearing apart a giant bag of dog food, not five feet away from my sleeping dog. FML

#21431556
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23267) - you deserved it (1653)

On 06/25/2015 at 1:30am - animals - by wtfkasey - Canada (Ontario)

Today, while driving to Nashville, I saw a bunch of wild turkeys huddled together on the side of the road. I was excited to point them out to my boyfriend, until I realized that the "wild turkeys" were in fact vultures, and that they were eating a dead deer. FML

#21431233
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19636) - you deserved it (3572)

On 06/24/2015 at 3:45pm - animals - by That escalated quickly - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I left my dog in my car for 5 minutes while I ran into a store. The car was running so he was fine, the thing that wasn't so fine is that when I walked out my car wasn't there. My dog somehow moved my car into the middle of a intersection, almost causing an accident. FML

#21430717
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20056) - you deserved it (16977)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:00pm - animals - by ej6901 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my creepy 12-year-old neighbour stood on his trampoline, looked over my fence and started waving a large net around, chanting my dog's name. Now I'm scared to let my dog outside alone. FML

Today, while swimming under water, my 80-pound lab thought I was drowning and tried to "rescue" me by jumping in after me, wrapping his front legs around my neck, and standing on my chest. FML

#21429802
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22017) - you deserved it (1746)

On 06/21/2015 at 10:16pm - animals - by Angel (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went to my boyfriends house to meet his parents, and now they have a dead rabbit because I sat on it. FML

#21428963
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24576) - you deserved it (4833)

On 06/20/2015 at 6:42am - animals - by rabbitkiller - China (Nei Mongol)

Today, I was walking behind my mother when she was mowing the lawn. She unknowingly mowed over a wasps' nest that was in the grass. Guess who the wasps decided to seek revenge on. FML

Today, I woke up to the sound of 4 gunshots from downstairs. I screamed, hid under the bed in tears and called the cops. Turned out my boyfriend hadn't been murdered by a burglar like I thought - he'd found a tarantula in our living room and decided to feed it a face full of lead. FML

#21428622
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27308) - you deserved it (3164)

On 06/19/2015 at 3:00pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was on a boat and I thought I saw a towel fly off, but it was actually my fricken dog. FML

#21426414
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31813) - you deserved it (5003)

On 06/15/2015 at 10:49am - animals - by justin Bieber - United States (Michigan)



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