Animals: Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out... - FML

By bad luck Bianca - 17/01/2015 22:30 - United States - Houston

Today, I saw a stick in my car and picked it up to throw it out the window. The "stick" turned out to have eyes. It was a dead lizard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 838

You deserved it 10 193

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Same thing different taste

By andrea99 - 03/10/2010 09:35 - United States

Today, I spent an hour and a half washing my car. As I was driving down the highway, a large bird flew over my car and accidentally dropped the dead animal he was about to have for dinner. It landed on my windshield. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 657

You deserved it 3 415

By Steffi3 - 14/05/2016 16:29 - United States

Today, there was a spider in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 312

You deserved it 65

Psssssych!

By Welcome to Florida - 20/07/2017 13:01

Today, my son's glasses were missing. My bathroom is not well lit, but I noticed something sticking out from under the toilet seat. I excitedly grabbed it, thinking I saw the band of the glasses. Nope, it was a snake. FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 330

You deserved it 535

By ew - 03/08/2014 18:49 - United States - San Antonio

Today, I painted my nails in the car. After I finished, I stuck my hands out the window to let them dry. When I pulled my hands back in there were live bugs stuck in my nail polish. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 541

You deserved it 49 960

Creeped out

By Baustigt - 06/08/2014 13:34 - Australia

Today, as I was driving, a massive cockroach clicked its way across my windshield. I pulled over to fling it out the window, but it spread its wings and flew around like a hook-armed stabbing machine. I lost it in the dark car and now I can't find it. It's going to be a long drive home. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 985

You deserved it 4 585

Clever

By FMLTIMESTWO - 10/06/2009 04:36 - United States

Today, I found a dead bird on my windshield. Thinking I was clever, I turned on my windshield wipers to get the bird off. Unfortunately, the dead bird fell through my open window and onto my lap. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 555

You deserved it 61 960

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 20:44 - United States

Today, I was riding my bike and swerved to avoid hitting a lizard. I ended up sliding into a bush and skinning myself, only to find my tires had still managed to cut the lizard to pieces. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 624

You deserved it 8 869

By yuck - 15/11/2011 14:38 - United Kingdom

Today, I was cleaning mouse remains from the kitchen floor, left by my cat. I found a small round thing nearby. With no idea what it was, I picked it up and gave it a little squeeze to see if it was solid. It wasn't, and burst with great force onto my face. I'm pretty sure it was an eye. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 015

You deserved it 17 412

By Unknown - 30/06/2014 01:05 - United States

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 914

You deserved it 7 199

By browngirl - 29/09/2013 04:16 - Canada - Vernon

Today, at work, a lady came in to have her glasses fixed. When she opened her case, an earwig crawled out. Instead of trying to kill it, she just left it and watched as it crawled over my desk and behind my computer. I later found the earwig in my hair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 45 853

You deserved it 4 958

Next

Top comments

vikky538 28

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:45

and here I am wondering why this FML got more ydi...

mct_1087 27

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:32

You have to wonder how a dead lizard got inside your car.

Comments

cheeeksss 29

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:19

I am hoping you weren't driving while this happened. I know if it were me, I'd freak out and perhaps swerve off the road :

brandoneyez1 25

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:20

Pull twigs off trees not the ground. Safest way.

brandoneyez1 25

Sunday 18 January 2015 15:22

This was a second post about a stick in the yard. The other was dry poop.

originaljosh 11

Sunday 18 January 2015 15:37

reread the fml it says it was in his car not the ground

sexy28 4

Sunday 18 January 2015 17:49

#20 if you paid attention instead of trying to correct him you'd realize he was relating this fml to a previous one yesterday.

iTzSelverZz 14

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:21

The lizard only wanted a home :(

Smooth_Criminal 24

Sunday 18 January 2015 16:43

who knew dead animals needed a place to live?

ThatLobster 24

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:23

Ew. Yuck op :P. This is the funniest thing I've seen all night!! I just hope you weren't driving.

myeverydaymylife 21

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:24

I live in Australia, and trust me, there are way worser things you could pick up..

biebahood 15

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:43

I couldn't help but notice that "worser"

brasiliano 16

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:54

Picking on people's grammar online? I'm sorry to interrupt were you still writing? I see no punctuation at the end of you sentence.

biebahood 15

Sunday 18 January 2015 15:01

I don't intend to nag... but I didn't know politely correcting people on the net was a crime

R2Y2 22

Sunday 18 January 2015 17:02

It's really annoying, and conveys you have nothing better to do with your time.

Isandri 29

Sunday 18 January 2015 18:15

@ #27 it's not like being on this site is particularly productive ;)

JKW35 21

Sunday 18 January 2015 19:29

'You' ....

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 19 January 2015 20:51

Yeah, I was expecting it to be a snake or something a little more deadly.

iwanttogotoparis 26

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:31

You got nothing on Australian wildlife, believe me, the spiders suck!!

badgercheese94 16

Sunday 18 January 2015 19:49

I have a massive phobia of lizards and would prefer a spider :p

badluckalex 23

Monday 19 January 2015 6:10

hell no **** spiders... you cant die from a lizard

squideth 18

Tuesday 20 January 2015 6:10

Yes you can. Gila monster, Komodo dragon, all kinds of monitors can kill you... Also most spiders aren't especially dangerous to you unless you're allergic to their venom.

mct_1087 27

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:32

You have to wonder how a dead lizard got inside your car.

chinaski7628 32

Sunday 18 January 2015 17:52

My guess is that it was alive when it got in there.

False_Stupidity 41

Monday 19 January 2015 20:52

Yeah but you still have to wonder how it got in.

sstahpp 33

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:36

How adorable.

biebahood 15

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:37

how could you not recognize a "stick" with tiny limbs

year2015 11

Sunday 18 January 2015 18:12

as stick is a limb. from a tree.

vikky538 28

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:45

and here I am wondering why this FML got more ydi...

whyisitincapital 25

Sunday 18 January 2015 14:59

My thoughts exactly

RoboCunnilingus 23

Sunday 18 January 2015 16:34

Hive mind. It'll continue to get YDIs simply because it already has a bunch.

Amama_fml 30

Sunday 18 January 2015 16:43

Sometimes I press YDI by mistake and then feel really guilty if the OP doesn't deserve it. First world problems...

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