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Today, I found my cat who's been missing for three days, sitting inside my neighbor's window. He won't answer the door. FML

Today, I discovered that my 100-pound Rottweiler is absolutely terrified of (drumroll please) orange peels. Yup. A byproduct of my lunch will turn this hulking monolith with teeth into a whimpering puddle of pee. FML

#21463927
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18877) - you deserved it (1593)

On 09/02/2015 at 10:30pm - animals - by pansypup - United States (New Mexico)

Today, I brought home a new small glass necklace and put it somewhere I figured that the cats couldn't reach. I was wrong. Now I will be looking through kitty litter to find something smaller than a dime. Talk about needle in a haystack. FML

#21463835
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15415) - you deserved it (2344)

On 09/02/2015 at 5:39pm - animals - by Shay (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I had to pull chunks of digested blanket out of my dog's ass because she refuses to listen to me when I tell her not to eat the damn blanket. I can't stop smelling it. FML

Today, while babysitting, I made the kids and myself peanut butter and jelly sandwiches. When their parents came home, their dad took out the same container of peanut butter I had used and let their dog lick out of it. FML

#21462597
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20714) - you deserved it (1671)

On 08/30/2015 at 2:44pm - animals - by anon - United States

Today, I found out that while my sister can somehow manage to keep an eye on and control her three preschool-aged children at the park, making sure nobody steals my dog from right beside her is just too big of a job. FML

#21462507
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20639) - you deserved it (2833)

On 08/30/2015 at 9:29am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, I found dog poop in my room that had probably been there for days. My girlfriend, who was watching the house, said she didn't realize it was there, because she thought it was the smell of her own farts. FML

#21462289
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20016) - you deserved it (1808)

On 08/29/2015 at 8:06pm - animals - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided to give my dog a bath. Instead, my dog gave me a bath. FML

#21461710
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17251) - you deserved it (3149)

On 08/28/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I awoke at two in the morning to my cat putting his most recent kill on my chest. When I jumped up screaming, the dead mouse went flying and now my husband and I can't find it. Better yet now both my husband and my cat are giving me the silent treatment. FML

#21460304
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20898) - you deserved it (2054)

On 08/24/2015 at 11:16pm - animals - by catlady - United States (New York)

Today, I spent an hour trying to sleep before work, but I couldn't because my two dogs wouldn't stop barking. Completely pissed off, I finally went and told the little fuck nuggets to shut the shit up. I was then immediately knocked unconscious by the burglar in my house. FML

Today, I woke up from a dream in which my girlfriend gave birth to a litter of puppies. I can't even look at her now without getting nauseous. FML

#21459180
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22395) - you deserved it (2745)

On 08/22/2015 at 3:30am - animals - by yooitscallo (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had a box full of crickets in my room. I sealed it up with tape and went to take a shower. When I returned, I found that the box had popped open, releasing almost all of the crickets. I can still hear the chirping. FML

Today, I took my daughter to the zoo, because she loves tigers. Correction: she used to love tigers, until one sprayed urine on her from a distance of four meters. FML

#21458732
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21390) - you deserved it (5049)

On 08/21/2015 at 1:55am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (California)



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