Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I discovered why my pet bird has been hiding behind my couch pillow lately. It's not because she was nesting, as I thought. She's been secretly tearing apart the whole couch from behind there instead. FML

#21395798
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (3689) - you deserved it (532)

On 04/18/2015 at 3:34pm - animals - by thisisnotavirustrustme.exe (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I invited a guy I've been crushing on for ages to my house, and I really wanted to make a good impression. We were sitting in the living room having drinks when my cat came in, dragging a pair of my dirty underwear and dropped them right in front of us. FML

#21394577
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26657) - you deserved it (3390)

On 04/16/2015 at 9:10am - animals - by HM (woman) - United States (New Mexico)

Today, a few weeks after teaching my dog to fetch my phone and drop it in my lap, he decided to do it spontaneously. Too bad I was in the bath at the time. There goes a $300 phone. FML

#21394097
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23419) - you deserved it (17010)

On 04/15/2015 at 1:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I got trapped in my building's elevator for over an hour, with my dog who I had been rushing outside with because he had explosive diarrhea. FML

#21391716
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31838) - you deserved it (2460)

On 04/11/2015 at 8:12am - animals - by Crappy - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my roommate's noisiest cat passed away. My previously-silent cat has decided that someone has to fill the void, and has been running around the apartment howling ever since. FML

#21391230
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26361) - you deserved it (3056)

On 04/10/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Crazy cat lady - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, I found out just how much my dog likes ice-cream when she tackled a little girl at a park for hers. FML

Today, I was outside with my two new kittens. A woman came rushing over, saying how glad she was that they were outside. She then started complaining that she had only been able to see them through the windows previously. I have no idea who she is or where she lives. FML

#21389096
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29657) - you deserved it (1994)

On 04/07/2015 at 3:14am - animals - by cat.imakittycat. (woman) - New Zealand (Taranaki)

Today, I was pickpocketed. I didn't realize until I stopped to get breakfast. I went back home to see that my dog had taken my wallet and had ripped and torn it up. I was pickpocketed by my own dog. FML

#21388506
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26330) - you deserved it (3133)

On 04/06/2015 at 7:44am - animals - by tannerrosetx_1 - United States (Texas)

Today, my brother in law brought a dead rabbit to my nephew saying, "I found the Easter Bunny!" My nephew started crying hours ago and hasn't stopped. FML

#21388202
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28314) - you deserved it (2157)

On 04/05/2015 at 6:19pm - animals - by :O - Canada (Manitoba)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

Today, I decided to confront my fear of birds when my friend's pet bird was walking up to me. He got on my arm, climbed up and attacked my face. FML

#21379871
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (689) - you deserved it (3386)

On 03/23/2015 at 12:42am - animals - by birdsterrifyme - United States (Missouri)

Today, my sister shot my dog with my airsoft gun. When I told my parents, she put on the fakest sobbing I've ever heard, said she didn't even know how to use a gun, and that she saw me shoot my own dog. They believed her and think I need psychiatric help. FML

#21378741
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31401) - you deserved it (1986)

On 03/21/2015 at 1:36am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I found out how much those tiny dogs cost when my German Shepherd ate one. FML

#21377263
249 comments

I agree, your life sucks (286) - you deserved it (9886)

On 03/18/2015 at 6:23pm - animals - by brokeforever (man) - Latvia (Riga)



FML's blog

  • Elaillce's illustrated FML
  • So, did you catch the game this week? You know, the one with the ball, the scoring and all that stuff. Isn't that how you're supposed to talk to people? OK, I know nothing about sports and teams, but I…

Friday 17 April 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: