Today, I got locked inside my apartment due to the locking mechanism being stuck, so I had to call off work. They refused to believe me, and insisted that I be in on time or else there would be disciplinary actions taken. Maintenance wasn't available till 3 hours into my shift. FML

by knepmj / 03/16/2016 at 5:44am / United States / Work

Today, the company I work for decided to herald the step to becoming fully digital by hanging physical passive-aggressive flyers everywhere, urging everyone to go digital. Might as well have written, "Save the trees" on them. FML

by tdtf / 03/16/2016 at 5:11am / Germany (Bayern) / Work

Today, my girlfriend of 5 years gave me the "I'm not in love with you anymore" speech. I saw it coming, so I'd planned to play it cool by saying, "If you're sure it's something we can't fix, I'd rather not talk about it". After a while, I realised I was just sitting there like a child, fidgeting and shaking. FML

nonsensical's comment : Even when it's expected, it's always hard to react as you planned when it's something that effects you so much on an emotional level. Hang in there!

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Today, whilst walking past a large pond-sized puddle, a double decker bus and a van slowed and drove around the puddle so as not to splash me. Thinking luck was on my side, I began walking more confidently, only for a tiny smart car to come hurtling past, causing a huge wave of water to hit me. FML

by Mr. King / 03/16/2016 at 4:28am / United Kingdom (London, City of) / Miscellaneous

jerzjay's comment : Smart car, but dumb asshole of a driver...sorry op

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Today, my class was given the assignment to have an informal discussion, debating who would be the best fit for president of the US. The school's security guards were called in after the Trump supporters started fights with everyone else. FML

by Off to Canada / 03/16/2016 at 3:48am / Hong Kong / Miscellaneous

Today, after returning to work from a week-long sickness, I sent out an apologetic email to all of my clients to explain my lack of communication due to absence. I realised afterwards I had put the subject line as 'Absense'. And sent it to all of my clients. FML

by absense / 03/16/2016 at 3:43am / United Kingdom / Work

stryder9090's comment : At least you didn't type Absinthe

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Today, a little girl locked all the stalls in the girls' bathroom where I work and crawled under the doors. I then had to crawl around on the bathroom floor in order to unlock the doors. FML

by Anonymous / 03/15/2016 at 9:19pm / Canada (British Columbia) / Work

Today, I have watched the Elmo's World episode featuring balls ten times in a row. The toddler I'm watching screams if I put on something different. His mom just said she was stuck in traffic. She should be back in about five and a half more replays. FML

by help me / 03/15/2016 at 9:05pm / United States (California) / Kids

Today, I went into a store for an interview. I've had several places wanting to talk to me and this job was a lot lower paying. I got a little cocky and when offered the job, I said I wanted some time to finish my other interviews first and see what my options were. The manager then took back his offer. FML

by Jeanna / 03/15/2016 at 7:14pm / United States (Kentucky) / Work

Today, after lots of overcast weather, we opened the blinds to the children's section in the library, to let in the beautiful sunshine. Fifteen preschoolers were greeted by the sight of a used condom plastered against the window. FML

by Anonameow / 03/15/2016 at 2:42pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Work

Today, I found $20 on the ground. I'm so broke, this is the first time in 3 months that I've had any disposable income. FML

by APoorGuy / 03/15/2016 at 8:08am / United States (Maryland) / Money

Today, while making love to my boyfriend, I noticed that instead of looking at me, he was admiring himself in the mirror. FML

by again? / 03/15/2016 at 6:03am / United States (Washington) / Intimacy

Today, in front of a group of family, friends, and acquaintances, a guy I hadn't talked to in about two years asked me how rehab was going. In the monstrous silence that followed, I had to awkwardly explain that I work at a nursing home that also functions as a rehabilitation center. FML

by Bex / 03/15/2016 at 3:27am / United States (California) / Work