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Today, I'm babysitting two 6 year old kids. One of them won't stop screaming, and the other kid found his mom's vibrator and won't stop playing spaceship with it. The parents will be home in an hour. FML

#21157917
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40361) - you deserved it (4906)

On 05/31/2014 at 2:40am - kids - by moomanjohnny - United States (California)

FireDragonV's comment : It's not your fault OP, that kid's mom should find a better place to hide her vibrator

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Today, things got so bad with my mother-in-law that I seriously considered faking my entire family's deaths to escape it all. FML

#21157433
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36995) - you deserved it (4307)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:33pm - misc - by save me (man) - Belgium (Antwerpen)

Today, I woke up in the middle of the night to my wife muttering "God, I want you so bad". Figuring she was either talking to me or longing for the second cumming of Christ, I turned over to see which. Turned out she was rubbing one out to some guy's Facebook photos on her phone. FML

#21157398
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57639) - you deserved it (6341)

On 05/30/2014 at 6:05pm - intimacy - by lahiros (man) - Australia (Victoria)

6demon6spawn6's comment : bam. first sign of a cheater.

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Today, for the first time in my life, my dad said he was proud of me. It meant a lot to me, and I started tearing up. Noticing my emotion, he looked at me pityingly, said "Aaaaand it's gone." and walked out of the room. FML

#21157338
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40068) - you deserved it (6060)

On 05/30/2014 at 5:04pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my 15-year-old son got so enraged at a fly that kept harassing him, that he ended up slapping himself in the face as it flew by him. This caused him to fall out of his chair, at which point he broke down into a mess of tears, humiliating me in front of everyone. FML

#21157319
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40728) - you deserved it (9474)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:37pm - kids - by get a grip, son (man) - United States (Georgia)

Redoxx's comment : Fly: 1 Son: 0

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Today, my neighbor threatened to call the cops if I didn't turn the volume down on my porno. I was only watching women's tennis. FML

#21157299
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41305) - you deserved it (4747)

On 05/30/2014 at 4:07pm - misc - by Mem (woman) - Sweden (Gavleborgs Lan)

Today, my psycho, animal-hating neighbour "accidentally" ran over my cat. This is the second time he's "accidentally" done this to a neighbourhood pet since he moved in, three weeks ago. FML

#21157136
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45609) - you deserved it (3400)

On 05/30/2014 at 1:28pm - animals - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, a girl asked me out on a date to some hot springs, about 2 hours away. After a mile hike, the springs were finally in sight. She then slipped and cut her shin open. I had carry her the mile back and drive her the 2 hours to the ER, where her parents, whom I'd never met, were waiting. FML

#21156317
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47610) - you deserved it (4189)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:46pm - love - by jonchavez - United States (Kentucky)

Today, out of habit from twelve years of karate classes, I bowed to my teacher as I exited my classroom. My chemistry classroom. FML

#21156297
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40524) - you deserved it (6517)

On 05/29/2014 at 7:32pm - work - by mathesonn - United States (New York)

Today, I found out our newborn snores worse than his father. FML

#21155774
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44818) - you deserved it (5526)

On 05/29/2014 at 11:18am - kids - by bananna - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, as I was using the public restroom in the mall, someone decided to slam the stall door next to mine. This resulted in my stall door opening while I was still on the toilet. The door was too far for me to reach. FML

#21155744
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43390) - you deserved it (4307)

On 05/29/2014 at 10:14am - misc - by Username - United States

Today, I saw a pair of eyes looking at me from my closet. Realizing it must be my cat, I called her. She immediately came out from under my bed. I can't find anything in my closet. FML

#21155508
236 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58812) - you deserved it (4553)

On 05/29/2014 at 2:46am - animals - by Idk (woman) - United States (Florida)



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