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Today, I returned a rental car and almost got charged extra for the "funky and rotten" smell in the car. I blamed it on a sausage roll, not having the heart to tell the woman it was my fart from a minute before. FML

#21335609
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24665) - you deserved it (6731)

On 01/12/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Denmark (Hovedstaden)

Jasim's comment : Who farts in something you're about to return?

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Today, I refused to serve a woman alcohol, as she looked underage. She complained to my manager about "age racism". FML

#21335591
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30275) - you deserved it (2217)

On 01/12/2015 at 3:23am - work - by nick (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

MrConcise's comment : "Sir, I'll have you know that your employee thinks I am Younganese. This is incredibly racist, I'm clearly Boozehoundian."

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Today, my boyfriend and I had 'car sex'. It sucked and resulted in him masturbating into a McDonald's bag. FML

#21335578
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (5893)

On 01/12/2015 at 2:56am - intimacy - by briiiiiiii123 - United States (New York)

PrimeEvilTahir's comment : Not so happy meal..

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Today, I got undressed in front of my boyfriend for the first time. His reaction? "You're chubbier than I expected". FML

#21335513
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38790) - you deserved it (3552)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:28am - intimacy - by reallyson? - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. Her reason? Not enough guys have been liking her photos on Instagram since we started dating. FML

#21335495
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34293) - you deserved it (2965)

On 01/12/2015 at 12:03am - love - by yankeeboy123 - United States (Florida)

Today, I met my boyfriend's parents for the first time. His father was completely wasted, his mom was high, and his 11-year-old sister was talking about her favorite alcoholic drinks at the dinner table. FML

#21335369
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32054) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/11/2015 at 9:41pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Georgia)

Today, after listening to a group of my friends ranting on about how much they love babies and can't wait to have them, I got to witness their looks of horror and disgust as I expressed my desire to not have children. I also happened to be the only girl there. FML

#21335310
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29282) - you deserved it (3035)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:14pm - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, a guy called me out of the blue. Apparently, he'd copied my number from a sheet we'd filled out in church. He doesn't understand why I'm "overreacting". FML

#21335287
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27614) - you deserved it (3392)

On 01/11/2015 at 7:39pm - love - by janegeorge (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my girlfriend and I were trying something new. I ended up with a shard of glass in my back and a concussion. Don't have sex on a glass table. FML

#21335128
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17959) - you deserved it (26418)

On 01/11/2015 at 2:10pm - intimacy - by anonymous - United States (Iowa)

Today, my girlfriend accused me of being insecure and feeling threatened by the fact that she has a daughter from a previous relationship. She's vaguely right; I feel threatened, but mainly because the psycho keeps threatening to stab me to death when her mom isn't around to hear. FML

#21334989
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31897) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/11/2015 at 8:03am - kids - by StabStab (man) - Belgium

Today, my brother woke me up by trying to light my bed on fire. FML

#21334934
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (2336)

On 01/11/2015 at 3:44am - misc - by Anonymous (man) -

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me by canceling our relationship status on Facebook. I commented in disbelief, only for my dad to reply "#rekt", then "But seriously, about time. She's gonna give your balls back, right?" Thanks for the support. FML

#21334865
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26349) - you deserved it (3145)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:57am - love - by kumcat (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had to negotiate with my husband so he would bring me toilet paper while I was on the john. His terms? A blowjob. FML

#21334864
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30478) - you deserved it (6385)

On 01/11/2015 at 12:56am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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