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Man or woman?

Today, like any other day I struggled to put my boots on, went to pee and noticed my pants were covered in what looked like a green dust. I touched it, sniffed it, and it smelled utterly horrendous. So I took my boots off again only to find that one of my cats had took a dump in one of them. FML

Today, I was told that my mom and her new husband have named my new born brother "Titan". FML

#1172
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22412) - you deserved it (1903)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:49pm - misc - by isthisajoke - United States (California)

Today, the guy sitting beside me on the bus fell asleep and just drooled on me. FML

#1168
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16273) - you deserved it (2106)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:25pm - misc - by marlow - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a pair of new speakers for my comp. I forgot I had installed various volume enhancing programs and also maxed out all sound settings. I connected the new speakers and played some music. The sound destroyed them. FML

#1167
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6715) - you deserved it (25600)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:02pm - money - by p!$$3D0FF - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was trying to finish an english assignment and I was not sure how to complete it. So I emailed my teacher asking and she said flip over the assignment handout page for instructions. FML

#1166
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4553) - you deserved it (22596)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:47pm - misc - by FUKDOUG - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20442) - you deserved it (1786)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

#1148
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7912) - you deserved it (33931)

On 01/14/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Holymoly - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

#1122
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9010) - you deserved it (23688)

On 01/14/2009 at 11:03am - love - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20864) - you deserved it (2245)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

#1108
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16518) - you deserved it (3745)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finished part of a project. When I asked my coworkers what they thought, they said they liked one of the few things that had already been implemented almost a year ago. Thanks for noticing. FML

#1106
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12681) - you deserved it (1805)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:30am - work - by notcool - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

#1104
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19832) - you deserved it (1748)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:26am - love - by beekie9 - United States (Illinois)

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

#1091
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24287) - you deserved it (7248)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:09am - love - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)



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