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Man or woman?

Today, in class, I volunteered to read a poem out loud. I accidentally said "circumcised" instead of "circumscribed". I don't think I"ll be volunteering to read anything more. FML

#1446
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14901) - you deserved it (3842)

On 01/17/2009 at 10:49am - misc - by EpicFail - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my younger brother and my parents were in my dorm room. When I wasn't looking, my brother opened the top drawer of my dresser (where I had a tube of half-used lube) and asked out loud: "What's Astroglide?" FML

#1440
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28448) - you deserved it (8314)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:25am - intimacy - by Perpetually F-ed. - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mother asked a woman at the clothing store we go to all the time when her baby was due. Turns out the woman isn't pregnant. FML

#1439
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14304) - you deserved it (4381)

On 01/17/2009 at 9:11am - misc - by BobbyMalone - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend texted me, asking if I had left my underwear over at his place. No, no I didn't. They weren't mine. Awesome. FML

#1435
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24090) - you deserved it (1683)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Noname - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I was walking with my girlfriend, when she walked ahead of me cat-walk style, turned around and said, "Do you think I could model?" I blurted out, "Yes... for a plus-size clothing line." FML

#1434
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5884) - you deserved it (47367)

On 01/17/2009 at 8:15am - love - by FailMan - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went to an underwear shop, and an employee recommended me a push-up bra. I was wearing one. FML

#1427
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21604) - you deserved it (2056)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:31am - misc - by Pakundo - Sent from mobile version

Today, I got up at five, got dressed, and walked halfway to work in the snow. I then realized that it's Sunday. I also forgot my keys. FML

#1426
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16913) - you deserved it (4975)

On 01/17/2009 at 6:11am - work - by Bitch its me - Korea Republic of (Kyonggi-do)

Today, I decided to clean my room, find a job and ask a girl on a date. I ended up playing video games online. FML

#1399
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8711) - you deserved it (38820)

On 01/16/2009 at 6:19pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was naked in bed. I was eating vanilla yogurt and it spilt. My dad walked in and then apologized that he had walked in on me while I was masturbating. FML

#1395
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19289) - you deserved it (9030)

On 01/16/2009 at 5:10pm - misc - by stellarshaun - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked me for advice on how to give a good blow job. I'm a guy. FML

#1389
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33748) - you deserved it (2431)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:46pm - intimacy - by Ohai - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my boyfriend told me I smell like vegetables. FML

#1388
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15406) - you deserved it (5635)

On 01/16/2009 at 3:43pm - love - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my dog found my marijuana pipe and the bag it was in and brought it to my parents. FML

#1384
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11418) - you deserved it (33674)

On 01/16/2009 at 2:38pm - animals - by Fucked - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I sent my sister a text about how fat I was becoming and looking as disgusting as my ex husband. When I checked to see if she had received it I saw that I had accidentally sent it to my ex father in law. FML

#1378
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5538) - you deserved it (20243)

On 01/16/2009 at 12:51pm - misc - by abbacjt - United States (California)



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