Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I sent a text message to my boyfriend, saying "Come over in an hour, I love you." An hour later, the doorbell rang. It was my ex, looking happy and still as taken with me as before, with a bunch of roses. I'd got the wrong number. My ex and my boyfriend have the same name. FML

#432
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11691) - you deserved it (37423)

On 12/01/2008 at 11:57pm - love - by eleonor - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend told me that I was irrationally jealous. I’ve just learnt that she has a website where she masturbates in front of a webcam. FML

#426
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54347) - you deserved it (3323)

On 12/01/2008 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Maestro - Sent from mobile version

Today, I asked my girlfriend if she wanted to go to the movies. She replies, "Sorry I have to do stuff with my parents" Her mum calls and by mistake my girlfriend pressed loud speaker, the first thing her mum said was "Be back at 11". FML

#421
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27517) - you deserved it (1984)

On 11/30/2008 at 10:25pm - love - by English - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I had an important interview. On the way there, I stopped in front of a car window to look at my reflection, checking I didn't have salad stuck between my teeth. Having pulled several faces, I realised that there were two girls inside the car, cracking up with laughter. FML

#419
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18855) - you deserved it (9998)

On 11/30/2008 at 5:51am - misc - by Groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, I introduced my boyfriend to my parents. We all looked together at family photos on the computer. The first picture was a close up of my mother, bare breasts in full view. FML

#417
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28728) - you deserved it (2303)

On 11/29/2008 at 9:34pm - intimacy - by Rosies - Sent from mobile version

Today, my husband invited his boss and his wife to dinner. During the meal, I tasted the wine and apologised for its bad quality, somewhat annoyed: "Dont drink that, I'll go and look for another bottle." Unfortunately, it was our guests who had brought the wine in question. FML

#416
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20968) - you deserved it (8820)

On 11/29/2008 at 11:11am - misc - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, well actually last night, I did a full striptease for my girlfriend to "You can leave your hat on". When the song was over, I was then completely naked, she says to me : "Maybe we should have closed the shutters!" FML

#413
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30041) - you deserved it (10120)

On 11/29/2008 at 6:50am - intimacy - by ... - Sent from mobile version

Today, while shopping for a pair of shoes, I saw a pair I really liked lying around, so I sat down to try them on. Then, a man came up to me and pointed out that they were actually his shoes. FML

#407
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21207) - you deserved it (5221)

On 11/28/2008 at 5:28am - misc - by Gregory - Sent from mobile version

Today, my dad surprised me by moving my bed (involving disassembling and reassembling it) in my new room, because I couldn't find how I wanted to set it up. He also took care of putting back my vibrator between the mattress and the base, where it was hidden. FML

#405
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35725) - you deserved it (9545)

On 11/28/2008 at 3:50am - intimacy - by Sam - Sent from mobile version

Today, I haven't had sex for so long that my condoms have gone off. FML

#404
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29749) - you deserved it (6680)

On 11/28/2008 at 1:30am - intimacy - by clash - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was doing a Power Point presentation to the management committee. Outlook Express was still open, and right in the middle of the presentation, a window popped up notifying me of a new message. "Subject: our reply to your application for the post of Marketing Manager". FML

#403
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16857) - you deserved it (7090)

On 11/28/2008 at 12:35am - work - by Buzz - Sent from mobile version

Today, during a lunch I said "It must be awful to realize that you've been cheated on!". One of the men present had just found out that he had been. I then try to correct my tactlessness by saying "The worst must be when your wife leaves you for another woman". Which was also the case. FML

#399
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22272) - you deserved it (8487)

On 11/27/2008 at 7:34am - misc - by lovely-sweet - Sent from mobile version

Today, I heard my next door neighbour screaming as if someone was trying to slice her throat. Her window was open. Intrigued, I went onto my balcony and asked if everything was okay, and if she needed anything. She and her boyfriend shout back in unison: "We're F*ing, go away". FML

#398
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34153) - you deserved it (7260)

On 11/27/2008 at 3:52am - intimacy - by ehbe - Sent from mobile version



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: