Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18898) - you deserved it (6216)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19131) - you deserved it (1690)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and my sister hear a buzzing noise in our parent's bedroom. We go to investigate. It's coming from a drawer. We open it up. Battery operated dildo. FML

#770
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32037) - you deserved it (4607)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22190) - you deserved it (2957)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

#656
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17690) - you deserved it (6962)

On 01/01/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Undefined - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

#654
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16551) - you deserved it (7793)

On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

#648
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18971) - you deserved it (4452)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Nick Nameous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

#769
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35215) - you deserved it (5610)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:23am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33059) - you deserved it (2533)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my wife and I both have blond hair and blue eyes, we just had a red headed son. FML

#767
364 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35875) - you deserved it (7620)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:45pm - kids - by - Sent from mobile version

pilfpolf's comment : its possible to have red hair kid if youre both blonde its a recessive gene

See all the comments →

Today, my girlfriend tried to clean out the fireplace with a vacuum cleaner, she sucked up a bunch of embers which set the vacuum on fire. After a crying for a bit, she went back to finish cleaning up only to find that some embers she dumped in a bucket melted through and set part of the carpet on fire. FML

#645
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (3173)

On 12/31/2008 at 9:53pm - misc - by blck - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, my girlfriend left a message on my phone. It was just the sounds of her having sex with somebody. FML

#766
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46744) - you deserved it (2305)

On 12/31/2008 at 6:41pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I crashed my car racing backwards and told my parents I was rear ended. They made me call the police and file a report. I hope there were no cameras. FML

#765
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4291) - you deserved it (38971)

On 12/31/2008 at 1:23pm - misc - by - Sent from mobile version



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