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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my wife, in her magnificent wedding dress, had her period during the ceremony. How did I find out? The same way everyone else did. FML

#505
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44086) - you deserved it (2403)

On 12/13/2008 at 12:48am - misc - by noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, when I left the restaurant, the very handsome waiter whom I had been trying to tune all night says to me, in front of everyone "But why did you write your number on the table with hearts next to it? You know, I won't call you!" FML

#504
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21392) - you deserved it (6091)

On 12/12/2008 at 11:53pm - misc - by Peel - Sent from mobile version

Today, I decided to teach my dog not to be scared of the vacuum cleaner. I grab the handle and get it close to her. She runs off and hides behind the couch and pisses everywhere. FML

#502
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5830) - you deserved it (32146)

On 12/12/2008 at 7:08am - animals - by Slaanesh - Sent from mobile version

Today, I opened my laptop in the train to watch a good film I had downloaded. Of course, it was a fake and the whole carriage was allowed to watch and hear five seconds of butt licking. FML

#499
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16457) - you deserved it (9805)

On 12/12/2008 at 1:05am - misc - by Jumanji - Sent from mobile version

Today, I caught my cat humping my dog while he was asleep. I'm sleeping with the door closed from now on. FML

#497
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32070) - you deserved it (3239)

On 12/11/2008 at 10:31pm - intimacy - by Black - Lebanon (Beqaa)

Today, I cut my nice and tasty home-made sandwich in half to give to a homeless man. He tasted it, pulled an unimpressed face, and then stuck it in his pocket. FML

#496
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19325) - you deserved it (2382)

On 12/11/2008 at 9:30pm - misc - by groom - Sent from mobile version

Today, my son laughed at me when I tried to get him to put a bit more effort into his schoolwork. His grandmother had kindly given him all my shitty school reports from when I was his age. FML

#493
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20459) - you deserved it (6478)

On 12/11/2008 at 7:21am - kids - by fataldisease - Sent from mobile version

Today, I argued with a boy from school over a girl. I didn't know he was a black belt judoka. I'm still in pain. FML

#492
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (6721)

On 12/11/2008 at 5:40am - misc - by Pfff - Sent from mobile version

Today, a girl in my class turned around and said, "Wow, you've got your photo on a rubber! That's amazing!" The rubber was designed to look like a £10 note, and the picture was of the Queen of England. FML

#491
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17379) - you deserved it (1952)

On 12/11/2008 at 12:13am - misc - by Elizabeth - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I had the house to ourselves. We started getting a little frisky when we discovered we out of condoms. After a quick run to the store, we found ourselves locked out of the house. Now we have condoms, but no way to use them. FML

#489
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24519) - you deserved it (15963)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:31pm - intimacy - by AudreyUs - United States (California)

Today, and for the third time this week, my bank manager called me to tell me that my account is still overdrawn. He doesn't seem to understand that my wages always get paid at the end of the month. FML

#488
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17396) - you deserved it (4229)

On 12/10/2008 at 6:09am - money - by dmlk - Sent from mobile version

Today, during foreplay with my boyfriend, I put my legs around his neck. He pushed them away violently, shouting, "Bloody hell, it's prickling me!" I'd shaved the day before. FML

#487
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31479) - you deserved it (6601)

On 12/10/2008 at 2:48am - intimacy - by Sugao - Sent from mobile version

Today, on the bus, a young high school boy sat down next to me and started to chat me up. I thought it was cute until he asked me which high school I was attending. I'm 27, I'm married, I have a child. FML

#483
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24663) - you deserved it (5478)

On 12/09/2008 at 11:58pm - kids - by Rita - Sent from mobile version



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  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

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