Today, I found out that I didn't get a job because I failed the psychological analysis. It told me to answer each question and tell the truth. So I did. I ask my friend, who got the job, if she told the truth. She said no. Apparently you have to lie in order to get a job. Sorry for being honest. FML

by samantha711 / 11/09/2009 at 9:28pm / United States (Wisconsin) / Work

Today, I was saying goodbye to my boyfriend before I got on my bus. As I turned to get on, the door closed on my face. I knocked on the door. The driver looked at me, and while still staring at me, drove off. FML

by Tee / 11/09/2009 at 9:20pm / Australia (Victoria) / Miscellaneous

Today, I started the day at my local Starbucks. I was greeted with smiles from everyone I made eye contact with and left the store feeling really good about myself. I got home and checked myself out in the mirror, only to realize I had cut myself shaving and my neck was covered in dried blood. FML

Today, I went to have my eyebrows waxed for the first time. After signing in the receptionist looked at me and said "Lip wax?". I told her no, my eyebrows. She sat me down and the waxer walked up, took one look at me and said "Lip wax?" FML

by LoserOfTheYear / 11/09/2009 at 5:27pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was taking a final test online that would account for 65% of my final grade. I had worked extremely hard in that class. I had one submission for the test. My roommate thought it would be funny to click the "Submit All" Button while i was getting a glass of water. I got a 13%. FML

by Failure / 11/09/2009 at 5:13pm / United States (New Jersey) / Work

Today, I woke up to find my garage broken into and my car covered in paint and with the words "F*** you". Why? I broke up with my ex because she cheated on me and stole money off me and my mom. Apparently this wasn't a good enough excuse to break her up with her. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2009 at 3:25pm / United Kingdom (Solihull) / Transportation

Today, I was turned down for a job as a cashier at Best Buy. I worked like hell to get into and then graduate from one of the top Telecommunication schools in the country. I spent all my time with extracurriculars to help my resume instead of partying like my friends. I can't even be a cashier. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2009 at 2:03pm / United States (New Jersey) / Miscellaneous

Today, after visiting my mom, she stuffed a bunch of pads in my backpack so I'd have some at my dorm. When I was going through security, I was stopped and ended up missing my flight. Apparently the jumbo pads my mom sent look exactly like packs of cocaine when they go through the X-ray machine. FML

by tampondealer / 11/09/2009 at 1:42pm / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Transportation

Today, while finishing up raking leaves, I decided it would be a fun idea to jump into them. After rolling around in the leaves for a bit, I smelled something funny. Turns out I was rolling around in dog shit. FML

by Kirta / 11/09/2009 at 10:18am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals

Today, we got our results for our final grade English paper on which I worked my butt off on, and also which I let my best-friend copy off from. I received a E- and two detentions for plagiarism. My friend got a A minus. All she said was "oh well, at least you tried your best". FML

by fuck_thisshit / 11/09/2009 at 5:27am / Australia (Queensland) / Miscellaneous

birds's comment : How is she supposed to know who copied who? YDI for letting your friend cheat off you.

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Today, I discovered that my boyfriend only stayed with me because he didn't want to "be alone," and now that he has a new girlfriend, apparently he won't be. We were together for three and a half years. FML

by LasagnaRawks / 11/09/2009 at 5:24am / United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire) / Love

Today, I went to a petting zoo to take pictures. I look down to see a goat chewing the sleeve of my new sweater, so as I reached down to get it loose, it started eating my hair. People took pictures of me wrestling the goat before they helped me. FML

by Anonymous / 11/09/2009 at 4:12am / Canada (Alberta) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was together with a few of my friends when I got up the courage to confess I have an eating disorder. One of my friends then said "... but you're not skinny." FML

by vanessa_d15 / 11/09/2009 at 2:55am / Canada (Ontario) / Health