Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML

#676
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24824) - you deserved it (2147)

On 01/02/2009 at 12:37am - love - by Godmish - Sent from mobile version

Today, I marked 600 emails in my gmail inbox as spam and it will take me hours to go through and unmark them. FML

#838
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4926) - you deserved it (22432)

On 01/01/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12664) - you deserved it (32572)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

#665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5192) - you deserved it (31234)

On 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18884) - you deserved it (6214)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19112) - you deserved it (1688)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and my sister hear a buzzing noise in our parent's bedroom. We go to investigate. It's coming from a drawer. We open it up. Battery operated dildo. FML

#770
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32031) - you deserved it (4607)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22173) - you deserved it (2957)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

#656
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17679) - you deserved it (6958)

On 01/01/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Undefined - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

#654
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16543) - you deserved it (7790)

On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version

Today, I celebrated the new year. Alone. FML

#648
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18954) - you deserved it (4450)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22am - misc - by Nick Nameous - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend has big fake boobs, but gets offended when I tell her how much I like them. FML

#769
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35198) - you deserved it (5608)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:23am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went onto my computer and found a cyber sex conversation between my sister and my girlfriend. FML

#768
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33046) - you deserved it (2533)

On 12/31/2008 at 10:49pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version



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