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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked in on my mom changing. She was trying on a thong my boyfriend bought me for Valentine's Day. It looks better on her. FML

#69080
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44203) - you deserved it (4226)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:26pm - misc - by wnrz (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was secretly listening to a voicemail from my mom in maths class when I accidentally hit the speaker phone button. My whole math class now knows I have a gyno appointment at 9:45 on March 11. FML

#67507
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13020) - you deserved it (43450)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:43am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my mother told me that my father once told her that he was glad she wasn't a red head. He wouldn't have married her if she was because he hates red heads. I am his red-headed daughter. FML

Today, my friend had a Coke can on his desk in class. It was empty but I was thirsty so I picked it up thinking I could try to get that little bit of Coke always left at the bottom. When I took a sip I found out he had been picking his fingernails and putting them in the can. FML

#67274
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16195) - you deserved it (49697)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:29am - misc - by Thatkid (man) - Singapore

Today, I got talking to a really hot guy at a party. He told me that he was only here because he heard the host would sleep with anyone, and he and his buddies had a bet going. It was my party. FML

#67236
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42103) - you deserved it (18548)

On 02/18/2009 at 9:15am - love - by Sandra (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I woke up to the sound of scissors. My mom was cutting my hair while I was asleep. FML

#66858
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56732) - you deserved it (4756)

On 02/18/2009 at 4:16am - misc - by w_t_f (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I told my parents how grateful I am for having them in my life and that not many kids are as lucky as me. My mom texted me after I went out 10 minutes later: "Are you ok? You seemed depressed earlier." FML

#66830
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30604) - you deserved it (4850)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:55am - love - by dxl (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I let my friend who is in 'beauty school' do my hair. I now look like i have a mullet. What was supposed to be auburn highlights is now hot pink. I have a job interview in the morning. FML

#66787
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15454) - you deserved it (32338)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:35am - misc - by asdf1851 - United States (North Carolina)

Today, My boyfriend gave me a gift card for $32 to a local salon. I thought the amount was kind of random, but when I went in I saw that the bikini wax was $32. FML

#66686
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39329) - you deserved it (12498)

On 02/18/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by nadalada (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, my grandmother called. She greeted me by my mother's name. When I told her it was not my mother, she apologized and corrected herself, but this time she addressed me as my sister. When I told her it was not my sister either, she said "Sorry, wrong number" and hung up. FML

#65383
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46311) - you deserved it (2736)

On 02/18/2009 at 12:08am - misc - by fuckthat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my group of friends, my girlfriend, and I were playing 'never have I ever.' My girlfriend's turn came up and she went with, 'Never have I ever had an orgasm.' FML

#64211
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61817) - you deserved it (19808)

On 02/17/2009 at 10:22pm - intimacy - by skeletor (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my brother joked that our dog was more attractive than I was. I looked to my mom for support, and she said "Well, she is pure bred." FML

#63875
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36250) - you deserved it (3161)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:52pm - animals - by Noname (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I kneeled down to tie my shoe and sneezed, nailing my face off of my knee and breaking my nose. FML

#63782
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44333) - you deserved it (6573)

On 02/17/2009 at 9:43pm - health - by ouchmynose (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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