Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I'm 19, I'm at uni, I've never been kissed and the only person I have had a proper conversation with in the past week is my Mum. FML

#4477
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25022) - you deserved it (4750)

On 02/01/2009 at 5:07am - misc - by geewhiz - United Kingdom (York)

Today, my cat, who is very 'don't-ever-touch-me', jumped up next to me as if she wanted to be stroked. In reality, she wanted to share a hellish fart. I need a new cat. FML

#4464
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18873) - you deserved it (4234)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:55am - animals - by pretty princess - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was playing with 3 kids I look after. The middle one has just learned about sex and started chanting that I had done it with the eldest as a joke. We were in the garden and the neighbours heard. Now I am fired, have to leave the house and am being investigated by the police. FML

#4463
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59061) - you deserved it (2677)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Jack - United Kingdom (London)

Today, my best friend was crying because her boyfriend is a retard. I brought my thumb up to wipe a tear off her face, and somehow stuck it up her nose. FML

#4457
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20935) - you deserved it (9827)

On 02/01/2009 at 3:11am - love - by FractalSanity - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a girl I've had a huge crush on for a long time told another friend of ours to get a life. I, in my infinite genius responded that her mom needed to get a life. She ran out of the room bawling. I got slapped in the face and informed that her mom had died not long ago. FML

#4336
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9645) - you deserved it (32764)

On 02/01/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by Huge A Hole - United States (Kansas)

Today, my little sister and I were reading a book together and out of nowhere, she said "I love you". My heart melted and I told her that I love her too. Then she told me that she was talking to her stuffed animal, not me. FML

#4425
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32150) - you deserved it (2673)

On 01/31/2009 at 11:29pm - kids - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, my fiancée "thought I should know" that she has a $125,000 student loan debt. FML

#4321
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33074) - you deserved it (4088)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:15pm - money - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was waiting after work in a parking lot for my ride and was dancing a little to keep warm. Next thing I know the cops pull up to me and said that someone called in to report someone dancing in an empty parking lot. FML

#4312
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23943) - you deserved it (2608)

On 01/31/2009 at 7:01pm - misc - by HumanNature - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to go to a car show. I told him to hold on, I had to ask my mom. I quietly asked her to say no for me. She said "Sure!". FML

#4294
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7292) - you deserved it (30777)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:25pm - love - by oicwydt - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

#4288
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13032) - you deserved it (22251)

On 01/31/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by joe - United States (California)

infantrygirl's comment : Lindsey, what the hell do you mean by that?? First, 99.9999% of military men and women would NOT overreact like that, so your comment is unfair. Second, if he is in the military, and he has PTSD, you, as an ignorant civvi, have NO right to judge him. Learn some respect for those who risk their lives for your freedom.

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Today, I live with my mother and realized she goes out with her friends and dates more times a week than I do in a single month. FML

#4267
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19004) - you deserved it (3192)

On 01/31/2009 at 5:23pm - misc - by lousy - United States (Alabama)

Today, at the urinal a guy came up next to me to do his business. He stared over at me, looked down, laughed and then left. FML

#4243
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26782) - you deserved it (2076)

On 01/31/2009 at 4:40pm - misc - by toosmall - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was looking at porn on my laptop when my mom came into my room to talk to me. After she finished what she was saying, she paused and said "you know I can see the reflection of your computer screen in your glasses". FML

#4219
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7782) - you deserved it (31595)

On 01/31/2009 at 3:47pm - misc - by losingstreak - United States (Massachusetts)



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