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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got stuck in an elevator for 2 hours with my boyfriend and the guy that I have been secretly having an affair with for 6 months. FML

#5470
324 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42176) - you deserved it (348949)

On 02/02/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

HAnkYPoo's comment : I just hope your boyfriend is banging someone else.

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Today, I was having sex with a girl. After we finish, she tells me she already has a boyfriend, and that his penis is larger than mine. FML

#5431
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53370) - you deserved it (9209)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:27pm - intimacy - by FML (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my mom slept all day. But when she got out of bed for five minutes, she told me I was a worthless piece of shit. Then she went back to bed. FML

#5419
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40749) - you deserved it (2278)

On 02/02/2009 at 1:07pm - misc - by asdf - United States (Washington)

Today, I went out on a date with a girl for the first time. I opened her car door for her and then slammed her leg in it upon closing. She will be in a cast for 6 weeks. FML

#5393
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28804) - you deserved it (8832)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:23pm - love - by JD (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my girlfriend asked if her friend Alex from high school could join in with us and we could have an amazing threesome. As a horny dude how could I say no? Turns out Alex is also a guys name. FML

#5350
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14981) - you deserved it (62557)

On 02/02/2009 at 11:29am - intimacy - by Randy Savage (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I realized that the dog humping my leg was the most action I've gotten in months. FML

#5320
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41854) - you deserved it (7513)

On 02/02/2009 at 10:57am - intimacy - by a-non (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

#5208
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31025) - you deserved it (2141)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:25am - love - by bewitched and bothered - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15640) - you deserved it (47659)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24836) - you deserved it (5867)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28689) - you deserved it (3470)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25259) - you deserved it (3965)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25584) - you deserved it (3003)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33176) - you deserved it (2583)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)



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