Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, the phone rang. I run to get the call, I trip, fall on a metal chair. Tears in my eyes and out of breath I pick up... "Hi, do you have a minute to answer a few questions? It's for a survey." FML

#1820
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17193) - you deserved it (3596)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Kika - Sent from mobile version

Today, in the forest, I hit my foot against a half-buried metal thing. I dug into the ground, and found a beautiful box, heavy enough to not be empty. I imagined myself with gold coins. Inside was the corpse of a cat. FML

#1817
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24735) - you deserved it (5653)

On 01/20/2009 at 2:13am - misc - by mainche - Sent from mobile version

Today, I put my paint brush into my cup of tea. FML

#1815
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7626) - you deserved it (18162)

On 01/20/2009 at 1:12am - misc - by Petridishoflove - Hong Kong

Today, I discovered that Paolo has a big penis, that he's good in bed and that the hotel sheets still remember it all. Mum, the walls won't get any thicker just 'cause you're on the telephone. FML

#1813
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22201) - you deserved it (1652)

On 01/20/2009 at 12:42am - misc - by Anonymous - Sent from mobile version

Today, I had a dream that I was 25, unemployed, living with my parents, and still completely in love with someone who no longer feels the same way about me. Oh wait... it wasn't a dream. FML

#1809
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21241) - you deserved it (5655)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:23pm - misc - by HeadTrauma - United States (West Virginia)

Today, my boyfriend took me out to a nice seafood dinner where we had some great crab legs. Later tonight we drove down to the beach and started messing around. He started touching me... with his hands still covered in salty crab juice. FML

#1806
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31758) - you deserved it (6221)

On 01/19/2009 at 10:55pm - intimacy - by rindawg - United States (California)

Today, I had to sit here for 8 hours copying and pasting thousands of product codes on a frigging spreadsheet. My job title is not data entry, I'm a graphic designer. FML

#1791
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17536) - you deserved it (2260)

On 01/19/2009 at 8:23pm - work - by Lincoln - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was watching TV and realised I am attracted to Sandra Oh. FML

#1774
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7348) - you deserved it (14262)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12pm - love - by Noname - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was jerking one off and my cat jumped out of nowhere and dug his claws into my shaft. Attempting to knock him away resulted in three nasty gashes... that I now have to explain to my wife. FML

#1752
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33022) - you deserved it (9045)

On 01/19/2009 at 1:05pm - intimacy - by stanDman - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend's mother told me she had fantasies about throwing him out a window when he was a baby because she was so depressed and couldn't handle the stress. The worst part is he wants to get married. She'd be my mother-in-law. FML

#1751
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18096) - you deserved it (3246)

On 01/19/2009 at 12:59pm - love - by lovekills99 - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I slipped on a banana peel in a store parking lot as I was getting out of my car. I landed on my ass. The cops that were parking behind me later informed me that I would be able to see the video on youtube. FML

#1741
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21451) - you deserved it (1891)

On 01/19/2009 at 11:49am - misc - by vixenscars - United States (California)

Today, I found out my boyfriend's mom tried to bribe him with an iPhone to dump me. He accepted. FML

#1705
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29832) - you deserved it (1914)

On 01/19/2009 at 6:12am - love - by f'ed_over - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I won $5000 dollars from a lottery ticket and tried giving the man next to me a high five. He had no hands. FML

#1702
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27552) - you deserved it (8855)

On 01/19/2009 at 5:26am - money - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



FML's blog

  • Matteor's illustrated FML #2
  • So, is everyone back from their vacation? Can we get back to regular programming? No? OK, I get it. You're all still crying about not being at the beach any more, well, I am anyway. And this time of year…

Thursday 11 September 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: