Today, at work a female co-worker was struggling with a stack of boxes in her hands. Her pantyhose was falling down and she asked me to help her. So I pulled up her pantyhose. When I looked up, she had a horrified look on her face. She was asking me to help her hold the boxes. FML

by harrassment101 / 12/25/2009 at 3:10am / United States (California) / Work

Today, my mom got drunk and decided to unwrap all my Christmas gifts and throw them at the wall. Ho, ho, ho. FML

by sucks_brah / 12/25/2009 at 2:25am / United States (New Mexico) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was making out with my girlfriend. Things got a little hot and I started to pull up my shirt. She screamed and told me to stop because the innocence of her stuffed animals was at stake. We are 18, and she was dead serious. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2009 at 2:09am / United States (Colorado) / Intimacy

Today, my boyfriend gave me a box of chocolates for Christmas. I thought it was sweet until I noticed the heart drawn on the back. It's the same box of chocolates I gave him for Christmas. Christmas last year. FML

by HeSucks / 12/25/2009 at 2:04am / United States (Mississippi) / Love

Today, I invited my boss and his family over for dinner. As usual, I bought his kids Christmas' presents, nothing too fancy though. This year, he had one more that wasn't here last year. So I just pulled something from under the tree to hand him. He opened it on the spot. It was my son's PS3. FML

by Anonymous / 12/25/2009 at 1:30am / Canada (Ontario) / Work

epccsplayer's comment : YDI. Why would you chance it like that when you knew you had a PS3 under the tree?

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Today, my friends and I were shopping for dresses. I asked the lady at the counter for a size 4, she looked at me and mumbled "Yeah right." in front of everyone. FML

by hahasuckit / 12/25/2009 at 1:30am / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous

Today, I introduced my family to beerpong. They especially liked the part about distracting each other while shooting. My grandma flashed me. FML

by ScarredForLife / 12/25/2009 at 1:28am / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sat for 3 hours at my boyfriend's Christmas celebrations. He has 22 cousins. They open presents one at a time. In silence. I got nothing. FML

by Earths_Venus / 12/25/2009 at 1:28am / Australia (Queensland) / Love

Today, my mother confronted me about my bird's masturbation problem. We spent Christmas Eve Googling "bird masturbating" and watching videos to see if that was actually what my bird was doing. At least he's having a good Christmas. FML

by suuuuuupucci / 12/25/2009 at 1:25am / United States (California) / Animals

Today, I waited anxiously until midnight to open my Christmas presents. As the clock struck midnight, I ran out into the living room, super-excited to open them, only to discover that everyone in our house had already opened theirs, and had all gone to bed. FML

by iFail / 12/25/2009 at 12:18am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, I work at a debt collections center and I had to call my own father. Merry Christmas. FML

by kat / 12/25/2009 at 12:16am / United States (California) / Work

Today, I got into a car accident. I got into it because I noticed a flashy new sign on the highway that read "Being an attentive driver prevents car crashes". Thanks for the notice. FML

by RoxMySox / 12/24/2009 at 11:08pm / United States (Texas) / Transportation

Today, I rejected my wife for sex. She then started to masturbate next to me. I got an erection. She then rejected me for sex. FML

by paidback / 12/24/2009 at 8:10pm / United States / Intimacy

caancoha's comment : How do you not deserve this? "Treat others as you would like to be treated." Go luck your wounded manhood.

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