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Today, I decided to be a good driver and not run through the yellow light. As soon as I stopped my car another came and rear-ended me. The guy told me to go in the parking lot so we can exchange information. So I drove into the parking lot, I turned my head and watched him drive away. FML

#183529
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53722) - you deserved it (6767)

On 03/02/2009 at 1:52pm - misc - by Noname - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while driving my kids to school, my son said, "Why don't you find another place to live, so we can just live with daddy?" Then my daughter added, "Yeah, 'cause we LOVE Daddy." FML

#182768
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (77073) - you deserved it (7802)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:28pm - kids - by E (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was meeting friends for dinner at an Indian restaurant. I was waiting for the group to arrive and our table to be ready. An Indian man approached me smiling, so I said "We're not ready for our table yet". Then I realized it was my friend's boyfriend who I've met several times. FML

#181594
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8787) - you deserved it (61801)

On 03/02/2009 at 9:22am - misc - by neelloc83 - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my friend and I went to a tacky-themed party. She was wearing orange faux snake stilettos. I commented, "Those are perfect for tonight, where'd you manage to find such hideous shoes?" It turns out she wears those shoes all the time, the color just matched her outfit. FML

#181542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10845) - you deserved it (40360)

On 03/02/2009 at 9:07am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, the fitting room of the store I worked in smelled really bad. The customers started to complain and since I was on fitting room duty I went to go investigate. A middle aged woman pooped on the floor and then put the chair on top to cover it. FML

#181468
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (100248) - you deserved it (4347)

On 03/02/2009 at 8:38am - work - by fittingroompotty (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I came to work, to find my creepy boss sitting in my office. I work the night shift, so very unusual to find him there. I asked how he was, and he replied, "I told my wife about us; she kicked me out." I've been working there a month. Also, I'm married and pregnant. So, excuse me, "US?" FML

#180985
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (91275) - you deserved it (4705)

On 03/02/2009 at 4:10am - work - by oh_mylanta (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my girlfriend and I were being driven home from our date by her mother. She's Jewish and I'm Catholic. Her mother was talking about how my girlfriend was going on a trip to Jerusalem that summer. She finished with "And you can find a nice Jewish boy while you're there." FML

#180763
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54946) - you deserved it (4505)

On 03/02/2009 at 3:10am - love - by Not Jewish (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went to Tiffany's to exchange a bracelet my boyfriend had given me for our year anniversary. It was the first gift that he actually spent money on me for. The sales lady then told me that the bracelet was not a real Tiffany's item. FML

#180458
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47761) - you deserved it (18933)

On 03/02/2009 at 2:24am - money - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I overheard my daughter compliment my mother by saying "My mom is way flabbier than you, Grandma." When I told her later that she hurt my feelings, she told me to "man up." She's seven. FML

#179475
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50796) - you deserved it (8958)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:52am - kids - by alejita (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was singing Alicia Keys in the shower and hitting the insanely high notes. My father ran into the bathroom and threw open the shower door, screaming. He thought I was wailing in pain. FML

#179032
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17067) - you deserved it (42256)

On 03/02/2009 at 12:22am - misc - by legit (man) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date that my sister had set up. When I arrived at the coffeeshop, I approached a man waiting by the counter, asking if his name was Tim (my date's name). He looked at me and said no and then left with a drink clearly labeled "Tim" in bold letters. FML

#178001
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66064) - you deserved it (4006)

On 03/01/2009 at 11:20pm - love - by oprahahaha (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, i walked into starbucks for a job application. I asked the manager if they were hiring, I really need a job. He looked me up and down and replied, " NO". There was a 'now hiring' sign in the window. FML

#176677
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41417) - you deserved it (4301)

On 03/01/2009 at 10:03pm - work - by timmyb (man) - United States (California)

Today, a customer opened with "you open bottles with them thangs?" I look around my desk for something he might confuse with an actual bottle opener. His girlfriend then informs me he is talking about my breasts. I work for a bank. FML

#176117
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42258) - you deserved it (3527)

On 03/01/2009 at 9:31pm - work - by bottlepoppin (woman) - United States (Ohio)



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