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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

#1091
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24221) - you deserved it (7227)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:09am - love - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

#1083
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19091) - you deserved it (2124)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:57am - love - by bbns - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

#1077
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16799) - you deserved it (2071)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10141) - you deserved it (46593)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

#1058
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24242) - you deserved it (2102)

On 01/14/2009 at 1:33am - love - by noname - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

#1056
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8938) - you deserved it (17233)

On 01/14/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Ad-s - Sent from mobile version

Today, I stole one of my cousin's chocolates. I didn't tell her, after I ate it, I read the box and realized that it was a chocolate laxative. I'm posting this from the bathroom. FML

#1052
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5536) - you deserved it (35266)

On 01/13/2009 at 8:05pm - misc - by dannij08 - United States (California)

Today, I went to work only to serve one table, make a $9.00 tip, get sent home because it was slow, have the city busses stop running because of weather, and have to pay a $20 cab fare to get home. FML

#1047
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22988) - you deserved it (1475)

On 01/13/2009 at 3:54pm - love - by ren - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I had to give a speech in front of my class and during my speech I had to say the words "But six"; however, because of my accent it sounded like "Butt sex". For the remainder of the day I was frequently asked about "Butt sex". FML

#1040
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22185) - you deserved it (2533)

On 01/13/2009 at 1:17pm - intimacy - by Explicit - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, a work colleague announced that she is organising a bit of a party. She says, in front of everyone, that I'm not invited to "avoid ruining the vibe". FML

#1030
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19188) - you deserved it (2139)

On 01/13/2009 at 11:43am - work - by Plush - Sent from mobile version

Today, I threw a rock in the air and watched it soar. And watched it come back down and hit me in the face. Gravity. FML

#1028
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5759) - you deserved it (44428)

On 01/13/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Gale - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my portfolio manager called me and said he had invested all of my retirement in Circuit City. FML

#1021
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31451) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/13/2009 at 5:06am - money - by Noname - United States (Virginia)

Today, like every other day, I turn up at work at the security guard's gate to show my ID badge. Except that my brother had stuck a huge "FBI" sticker on it. My co-workers now all call me Mulder. FML

#1020
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14587) - you deserved it (2485)

On 01/13/2009 at 4:47am - work - by MAC - Sent from mobile version



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