Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I am finally dating the girl I have liked on and off for the past year. In the school play. FML

#14837
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28383) - you deserved it (4619)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by u_n0_mE - United States (Maryland)

Today, I told my mom I loved her a lot. Her reply? "Thanks." FML

#14836
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24910) - you deserved it (3661)

On 02/08/2009 at 11:30am - misc - by KaLa (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was reading an article about girls who have low self-esteem and end up whoring around to feel better. When I finished, I realized it was actually written by my best friend. The girl in the article was me. FML

#14757
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31356) - you deserved it (13543)

On 02/08/2009 at 8:55am - misc - by Kath (woman) - Poland (Gdansk)

Today, my virgin guy friend told me he wanted me to be his first. I'm a guy. FML

#14737
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63026) - you deserved it (7843)

On 02/08/2009 at 7:37am - misc - by DC (man) - United States (California)

Today, my best friend told me she wanted to rape my throat. I did not know that was possible. FML

#14570
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23476) - you deserved it (4678)

On 02/08/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by N (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was watching 24 and realized that Jack Bauer had gotten more action in 5 hours than I had in 5 months. FML

#14536
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26413) - you deserved it (6172)

On 02/08/2009 at 2:39am - misc - by Noname (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, I woke up around 5am from a party I had last night, still quite drunk. This chick was lying next to me from the night before. I kissed her, and about a minute and a half into some heavy making out, she opened her eyes and said, "Oh, it's you." Then got up and walked out. FML

#14357
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29981) - you deserved it (6086)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by scatter00x (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, I got a few notes from this girl I like at school for 2 years telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocks on the door and I panic and say "Hold on!". I shoved them under my pillow then told him to come in. He said "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML

#14349
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30932) - you deserved it (10156)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Misunderstood (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML

#14341
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29712) - you deserved it (2392)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by lk26 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML

#14320
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33941) - you deserved it (2165)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by klee (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

#14158
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26959) - you deserved it (1685)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:39pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9785) - you deserved it (36620)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

circayouandme's comment : Are you kidding me?? Some friends they are. Drop them.

See all the comments →



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: