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Today, I cancelled out of a video chat with my boyfriend to go take a dump. I took my computer with me to look at Facebook. It took three minutes for me to realize I was still on video chat. FML

#43092
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13558) - you deserved it (48566)

On 02/14/2009 at 6:05pm - misc - by videochat (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I realized the reason I was asked to babysit 3 weeks ago for Feb 14 was because the old married couple with kids safely assumed that I wouldn't have a Valentine. FML

#43018
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29819) - you deserved it (2529)

On 02/14/2009 at 5:49pm - misc - by NoValentine (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my mother was driving me and my friends to a wedding. My friends and I were talking about birth control, and then my mother chimes in, "Yeah, I used to use the sponge, but the spermicide would always burn your dad's penis." FML

#42695
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36677) - you deserved it (6327)

On 02/14/2009 at 4:37pm - intimacy - by Grossed out (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I returned home from college for the first time in a month. I went to my bedroom and found a nice gift bag on my dresser. Thinking it was a Valentine's gift, I opened it. My dog's ashes were in a tin inside. This is how I found out my dog died since I was away. FML

#42474
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45296) - you deserved it (1917)

On 02/14/2009 at 3:50pm - animals - by Anne (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got my license renewed and the woman behind the desk looked at me and said "guess we need to update the weight, huh?". FML

#41916
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33121) - you deserved it (5234)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:43pm - misc - by faye (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, my girlfriend of one month and I had an amazing night of dinner and dancing, but when I leaned in to kiss her, she said, "You're joking right?" FML

#41639
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39431) - you deserved it (3543)

On 02/14/2009 at 12:35pm - misc - by semi-depressed (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought some flowers. As I was checking out, the cashier asked, "Aww, these for your mom? How sweet." I responded they were for a girl I liked. She laughed and said, "Sorry..." FML

#41470
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25383) - you deserved it (3655)

On 02/14/2009 at 11:48am - misc - by Noname - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my Mom came to pay me a short visit at college. She handed me some flowers, which were a Valentine's Day gift, because she "figured I wouldn't be getting any from anyone else this year." FML

#40460
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28959) - you deserved it (2266)

On 02/14/2009 at 1:23am - misc - by clementine8 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was crying after having argued with my boyfriend. My mom saw me, she asked "Why are you crying? Don't you have homework to do?" FML

#40006
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29273) - you deserved it (5816)

On 02/13/2009 at 11:43pm - misc - by crazycutie1027 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to my parents about feeling insecure with my "beach body" as Spring Break keeps getting closer and closer. My dad warned me by saying, "Don't wear a gray swimsuit. People will try to roll you back into the ocean". FML

#38789
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48079) - you deserved it (7820)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:15pm - misc - by Shamu (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I texted this girl I really like and she didn't answer. She did about two hours later and it said "sorry I was having sex at the time you texted me. So how are you?" FML

#38126
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40291) - you deserved it (3581)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:59pm - intimacy - by Mr. Hopeless (man) - United States (Wyoming)

Today, on campus, these really overly-happy people walking around with big signs saying "free hugs". When I walked towards them, their smiles faded, and they put their signs down. FML

#38092
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45724) - you deserved it (4104)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by shit's weak - United States (Indiana)



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