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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got in a huge fight with my mom. So, I went to my room and locked myself in there and played loud music so I didn't have to hear her. She then decides to yell at me over facebook. Shortly after, I log out of Facebook. She then starts yelling at me on Yahoo. Damn technology. FML

#3491
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10458) - you deserved it (22737)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:45pm - misc - by blarg - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in one of those lucid half sleeps with my boyfriend. Not fully awake to control myself, I ripped ass. I had no idea what to do. I pretended to still be sleeping. I'm pretty sure he noticed because he patted me on the back in a congratulatory sort of way. FML

#3486
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20870) - you deserved it (5657)

On 01/29/2009 at 7:13pm - love - by amg85904 - United States (Ohio)

Today, a toddler's play ball rolled over to me in the park. I playfully pitched it to him as his parents watched from afar. The ball hit him in the face. FML

#3469
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21802) - you deserved it (3145)

On 01/29/2009 at 6:08pm - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the doctor to talk about my depression and low self-esteem. He told me that I shouldn't think of myself as a fat pig for being overweight. I don't think that and I'm NOT overweight. FML

#3462
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23936) - you deserved it (2999)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:46pm - health - by Coley - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend and accidentally called her Brad (one of my roomates name) when I came. Now her and her friends think i'm gay and my roomate Brad moved out. FML

#3435
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37975) - you deserved it (29839)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:44pm - intimacy - by GavinHosler - United States (Michigan)

Today, I found a guy getting out of my car with my GPS. He started running and I chased him. We eventually reached a dead end and he gave it back to me. I took it back from him and said, "Sorry..." FML

#3430
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23598) - you deserved it (5772)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by FailBear - United States (California)

Today, my cat fell into the toilet, jumped out, and ran straight to hide in my bed. FML

#3426
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28115) - you deserved it (2864)

On 01/29/2009 at 4:25pm - animals - by MoncaBang - United States (Illinois)

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25439) - you deserved it (7664)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18886) - you deserved it (2297)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8776) - you deserved it (32931)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML

#3292
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24567) - you deserved it (1704)

On 01/29/2009 at 8:06am - work - by Noname - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML

#3269
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7426) - you deserved it (17879)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by jalopenos - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30269) - you deserved it (3309)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)



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