Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I ordered a pizza over the phone from Pizza Hut. I turned at the store and waited for over 25 minutes. When they saw me sitting there for such a long time, they eventually asked what i was waiting for. I'd called the wrong Pizza Hut. FML

#900061
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10889) - you deserved it (53427)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:38am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting my neighbor's kid. We were playing in the yard, when he fell and got a small scratch on his leg. I gasp, and he takes a huge breath in and yells, "FUUUCK!!!" as loud as possible. The parents thought it was me, and the mother slapped me in the face. FML

#900029
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66414) - you deserved it (3021)

On 04/10/2009 at 11:35am - kids - by mandy (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my mate came over wanting me to listen to a new music cd he got. It was by some unknown band, and at the end he asked me what I thought, and I said it was ok, but the lead singer couldn't sing even if his life depended on it. Turns out my mate's the lead singer, and it was his own band. FML

#899489
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23816) - you deserved it (38909)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Jay (man) - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I was driving my car like any ordinary day. My dad has been harping on me about not checking the oil, so I finally checked it. Driving down the road my hood flew up and shattered my windshield. I forgot to latch my hood after checking the oil. $300 for a new windshield. The oil was fine. FML

#899403
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17387) - you deserved it (56934)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:35am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was sent to an elementary school for safety day. One of the dads was asking about my job, when I told him about the long hours and high stress involved. He turned to his son and said "Now see why you stay in school?" I'm a paramedic. With a bachelor's degree. FML

#899104
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52291) - you deserved it (2700)

On 04/10/2009 at 10:07am - work - by Franco (man) - United States

Today, I had a bunch of parties while my parents were out of town. I made sure to clean up absolutely everything, I even vacuumed the stairs. As they pulled up, I noticed all of the trash bags filled with beer cans blocking their way into the garage. FML

#898279
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7778) - you deserved it (73765)

On 04/10/2009 at 6:17am - misc - by blah (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, I was fooling around with someone I had met at a club, in my room. It got really heated, and I was really getting into this guy, until he lifts up my leg and asks "Can I lick your leg?" FML

#898181
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54281) - you deserved it (21975)

On 04/10/2009 at 5:43am - intimacy - by cherry (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was riding on a stationary exercise bike at home, when I went to get off, my shorts got stuck under the seat. I dangled half upside down until my shorts ripped and I fell on the ground face first breaking my front tooth. I broke my tooth riding a bike that doesn’t even move. FML

#897879
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55836) - you deserved it (8801)

On 04/10/2009 at 4:17am - misc - by missy (woman) - Italy (Toscana)

Today, I got back a paper after a peer review. I had worked really hard on it over the last week and was proud of the end result. When I got the paper back the only positive comment on the paper was "well I really like the blue staple you used to hold it together." FML

#897459
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50861) - you deserved it (4848)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:12am - misc - by Kim (woman) - United States

Today, I went for a lunch interview for my dream job. The interview was great and at the end, I tried to seal the deal by complimenting my future boss. I said, "You're really hardworking. Do you always work on a Saturday?" He looked at me, smiled and then wrote something down. Today's Friday. FML

#897398
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13137) - you deserved it (54588)

On 04/10/2009 at 3:06am - work - by sifa (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, while working at a restaurant, I watched someone throw their car door open and hit the side of my brand new car for the third time this week. I told the woman to be more careful. She told my manager that I was being racist. As I was being yelled at, I watched her hit my car again, smiling. FML

#897353
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (82878) - you deserved it (3422)

On 04/10/2009 at 2:59am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Montana)

Today, my fiancé's parents visited. I keep chickens for their eggs, and his parents own a farm, so we had a connection. They told us to leave the house while they cooked us dinner. When we returned, we faced two steaming plates of chicken. My chickens. They had names. FML

#896114
415 comments

I agree, your life sucks (230301) - you deserved it (28925)

On 04/10/2009 at 1:11am - animals - by lanbon182 - United States (California)

Today, my younger brother watched an old music video of The Who, who are know for smashing up their guitars and such. He decided it would be cool to try it with mine. That guitar was worth over $3000. FML

#894121
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78753) - you deserved it (4115)

On 04/09/2009 at 10:43pm - misc - by FML4evs (man) - United States (Illinois)



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