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Today I Brought A Cute Guy Back From The Bar To Have Sex. He Was Drunk So He Had Trouble Getting It Up An I Said Jokingly "you Need To Work On That". We Fell Asleep An I Woke Up The Next Morning To Him Gone An A Note That Said "you Need To Work On Not Farting In Yur Sleep". FML

#1222534
168 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22001) - you deserved it (81910)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:46pm - intimacy - by Screwed (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

looool Today, I was crochetinghile watching television, an thinking to myself how proud I was that I taught myself to crochet. Then, an episode of Golden Girls came on, an I watched thathile I crocheted. I'm 24. FML

#1221621
219 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26026) - you deserved it (37615)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today , boyfriend stopped making out wit me to watc a trty minute infomercial on te Topsy-Turvy upside down tomato planter. FML

#1221446
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55946) - you deserved it (6622)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:02pm - love - by T-Pain (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I got a text from ma girlfriend saying se needd more pone credit, so I bougt er more an got anoter message saying "Great, now I ave enoug credit 4 tis..." as se spelld out a tree page message breaking up wit me!! Yes, I paid 4 er to break up wit me via text!! big fat FML

#1219528
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74836) - you deserved it (7548)

On 04/22/2009 at 11:26am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, mah mum and I were walking down a roadhere we met an old neighbourho recently got divorced. Her sonho we hadn't seen fir about 10 yeres was with her and he looked very handsome. I said, "oh wow ! yur son has grown up so much !" The woman replied, "this is mah boyfriend." FML

#1218205
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42500) - you deserved it (8265)

On 04/22/2009 at 10:09am - misc - by Anonymous - Hong Kong

Taday I was at a party. Te girl I'm madly in love wit referred to me as er 'Gay Friend.' Se refused to kiss me in Spin-te-Bottle as 'Se didn't want to do anyting wit anyone tat nigt'. Se ten made out, and slept wit, my 'best friend'om se ad never met before. FML

#1218026
235 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73134) - you deserved it (5926)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:50am - love - by Bo (man) - United Kingdom (Wigan)

TODAY, I WAS RUNNING THE 100M SPRINT IN A TRACK MEET . ME AN ANOTHER GRL WERE TIED FOR DEAD LAST . WHEN WE FINISHED, SHE COMPLAINED, "IT'S SO EMBARRASSING HOW SLOW I AM TODAY . I HAVE SHIN SPLINTS . WHAT HAPPENED TO YOU?" I WAS ACTUALLY RUNNING MY HARDEST . FML

#1217695
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50931) - you deserved it (7100)

On 04/22/2009 at 9:20am - misc - by slowrunner (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today , I was eating a hamburger on the streethen a pigeon cummed down to take a bite. I ran and got 30 birds or so chasing me. My legs were burning , half of mah burger was gone , and an entire office building was laughing at me. FML

#1216393
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53595) - you deserved it (8626)

On 04/22/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by fencernick (man) - United States (New York)

Yesterday, as I caugt te train ome, a woman got on and sat on te only available seat next to me . We got talking and as te train approaced te next station, se said tat tis was er stop and se ad to go . Se exited te train and I turn to see er enter looool te compartment beind me . FML

#1215517
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48867) - you deserved it (7049)

On 04/22/2009 at 3:48am - misc - by DonMare (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today , at a concert , I noticd a cute keytarist in one of the bands . After they got off stage , I askd thier bass player if she was single . He replid , "actually , she's marrid," holding up his left hand , he continud , "to me." FML

#1215114
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22929) - you deserved it (43357)

On 04/22/2009 at 2:44am - misc - by fastfingers409 - United States (California)

Taday I ad to give a massage to an obese person wit rank smelling fungus growing in between tere skin folds. Tey tipped me two dollars. My ands still smell. fat FML

#1214508
177 comments

I agree, your life sucks (78786) - you deserved it (5351)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:39am - misc - by RockedSystem - United States (Alabama)

TODAY, I WENT ON SOMEWHAT OF A BLIND DATE. THE DATE WAS OK UNTIL HE TRIED TO SPOON FEED ME. THIS DIDN'T GO OVER SO WELL. LATER, I NOTICED A STRANGE LOOKING BRIEF CASE HE WAS CARRYING. I ASKED HIMHAT IT WAS AN HEHIPPED OUT 5 YOYOS AN DID A YOYO SHOW IN THE MIDDLE OF THE RESTAURANT. FML

#1214403
159 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59853) - you deserved it (6209)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:24am - misc - by 11321 (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I Got A Call From Tha Hollistar Managar Yalling At Ma For Not Showing Up For Work That Night. I Was Navar Informd I Got Tha Job. I Missd Mah Frst Day Of Work. FML

#1214347
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (64002) - you deserved it (5257)

On 04/22/2009 at 1:22am - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)



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