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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was at the strip club. I put my dollar on the stage. When the stripper came over to take it, she stood me up and flipped my tits and said I had bigger ones than her. I'm a guy. FML

#7993
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21289) - you deserved it (40550)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:40pm - intimacy - by Big B (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I asked my boyfriend to ravish me. He told me he would rather play PS3. FML

#7921
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32604) - you deserved it (6108)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - love - by fml_for_real - United States (New York)

Today, a guy in the library came up to me and said, "You look very unproductive. It makes me depressed just watching you". FML

#7920
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25150) - you deserved it (4153)

On 02/04/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked past a girl in the cafeteria and she threw up. Naturally, a crowd was drawn. Her friend asked her what was wrong. She pointed at me and said, "Get him away from me!" I had never met this girl. FML

#7894
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39943) - you deserved it (2202)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by disgusting (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was driving and stopped behind a person at a stop sign. Their car didn't move for about 1 minute. I got out of my car yelling at the person. It was an old woman. She wasn't breathing. FML

#7876
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16218) - you deserved it (31299)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:44am - health - by Harejordan (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was running to the bus stop to catch the bus. The bus driver smiled, waved, and drove away without letting me get on. FML

#7793
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31536) - you deserved it (2322)

On 02/04/2009 at 11:06am - misc - by seriously?? - United States (Florida)

Today, I turned on my camera to find pictures of my dad's secretary giving him a blowjob. Minutes later, I hear a scream from another room as my 12-year-old sister discovers similar pictures on HER camera. Mom and dad say it's no big deal. FML

badonis's comment : WTF?

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Today, I took a big sip of water while on a bus. It went down the wrong pipe, causing me to cough and hack loudly. The old woman sitting across from me asked if I was okay. Jokingly, I said, "Just dying." She replied, "You too, huh?" FML

#7761
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8601) - you deserved it (28808)

On 02/04/2009 at 10:48am - misc - by suicide (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my inebriated boyfriend and I were having sex. He rolls off of me without finishing, and says, "i'm bored." FML

#7619
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41265) - you deserved it (6793)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:35am - intimacy - by na (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I told my girlfriend that I didn't feel wanted. Then she talked about how her cat puked on the carpet. FML

#7578
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26634) - you deserved it (2849)

On 02/04/2009 at 9:18am - love - by constantine (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, my airline lost my luggage when I flew back from France. They also lost my luggage when I flew to France. FML

#7546
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33801) - you deserved it (1742)

On 02/04/2009 at 8:54am - misc - by Dr. Jack (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was teaching swim lessons. I got felt up by a 6 year old boy. 3 times. FML

#7471
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28175) - you deserved it (4649)

On 02/04/2009 at 7:56am - work - by cplaner (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I was singing to my cat and she reached up and put her paw over my mouth. FML

#7370
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19972) - you deserved it (34037)

On 02/04/2009 at 6:23am - animals - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)



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