Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, my girlfriend confessed to me that she wants to dress me up with her clothes, with wig and makeup. FML

#840
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32012) - you deserved it (4707)

On 01/02/2009 at 10:53am - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I found out the girl I was in love with has a new boyfriend. I blame myself because I believed her when she said she "wasn't ready" for a relationship. FML

#678
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19957) - you deserved it (3478)

On 01/02/2009 at 6:14am - love - by loser doctor - Philippines (Quezon City)

Today, the only man who has ever fallen in love with me is bald. FML

#677
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8992) - you deserved it (29508)

On 01/02/2009 at 6:09am - love - by joe - France (Auvergne)

Tenma_Hakase's comment : You're very shallow. You don't deserve him honestly

See all the comments →

Today, I received a text message from my girlfriend saying: "Do you remember last time we slept together?", I answer straight away "Of course I do, it was great!". To which she replies: "I hope you made the most of it: it was the last". FML

#676
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24746) - you deserved it (2141)

On 01/02/2009 at 12:37am - love - by Godmish - Sent from mobile version

Today, I marked 600 emails in my gmail inbox as spam and it will take me hours to go through and unmark them. FML

#838
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4906) - you deserved it (22358)

On 01/01/2009 at 11:34pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, my mother was vacuuming my room and found a towel under my bed. She asked "why does it smell so bad?" I replied "sweat". FML

#672
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12603) - you deserved it (32495)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:04pm - intimacy - by Noname - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I have my new iPod Touch, and I'm walking down the street. Since it's really cold, I'm wearing gloves. At some point, I want to change the song, and don't want to remove my gloves. I try changing the song with my nose, for about 3 minutes, until I realize I look really stupid. FML

#665
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5178) - you deserved it (31169)

On 01/01/2009 at 2:09pm - misc - by Ulysse - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, I was playing GTA4 and went on its fake dating site to email a girl to go on a date with. I've never had much luck with dating in real life, so I figured the game would be more kind to me. After a while I went back to check my email, and the fake girl I'd propositioned told me to get lost. FML

#663
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18804) - you deserved it (6204)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:22pm - love - by Danno - United States (Louisiana)

Today, my boss got a promotion and I got laid off. FML

#837
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19023) - you deserved it (1682)

On 01/01/2009 at 1:21pm - work - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, me and my sister hear a buzzing noise in our parent's bedroom. We go to investigate. It's coming from a drawer. We open it up. Battery operated dildo. FML

#770
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31957) - you deserved it (4597)

On 01/01/2009 at 12:54pm - intimacy - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I'm a recovering alcoholic and drug addict. On new years, my mom called and asked what kind of champagne I want. FML

#771
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22094) - you deserved it (2949)

On 01/01/2009 at 10:38am - health - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

#656
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17605) - you deserved it (6943)

On 01/01/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Undefined - Sent from mobile version

Today, and for the last 8 months my upstairs neighbours have been making a tremendous noise. I finally decided to go up to complain: "The amount of noise you make is unbelievable ! It sounds like you're driving tractors up here!". The woman replies: "My husband is paraplegic..." FML

#654
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16451) - you deserved it (7777)

On 01/01/2009 at 3:49am - misc - by Jared - Sent from mobile version



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  • FML on vacation #1: Getting there
  • A lot of people will spout off the tired old cliché that the destination isn't as important as the journey itself. Well, what if you're on your way to the Playboy Mansion then?…

Tuesday 22 July 2014

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