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Man or woman?

Today, I had a date with a girl. After movies and dinner we came back to my place. I had to go to the washroom BADLY. I took a BIG #2 and when I went to flush the toilet to my horror it didn't flush. FML

#1663
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17681) - you deserved it (2817)

On 01/18/2009 at 8:01pm - misc - by frankie - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I bought a party bowl of Bud Light for a get-together. Around midnight, I realized that I didn't have the tap to get the beer out. Fifty-five cans of untappable beer and no more beer money. FML

#1649
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4670) - you deserved it (17419)

On 01/18/2009 at 6:14pm - misc - by Colleen - United States (Florida)

Today, I realized that I hate lying to my mom about having a boyfriend. FML

#1634
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6659) - you deserved it (26963)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:57pm - love - by indian:( - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I stepped in dog shit, barefoot, in my own bathroom. The dog had been outside for two hours earlier, and I'd watched him take a dump. Apparently he was saving some for when he got back in the house. FML

#1633
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16194) - you deserved it (1847)

On 01/18/2009 at 4:50pm - animals - by dirtyfoot - United States (Texas)

Today, my mom gave me and my brothers each a cd of her recent photoshoot for her book. I found out later that my mom didn't know how to burn only SOME of the photos on the CD, and ended up burning all of the photos onto the CD. Some of the photos were provocative. FML

#1617
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17317) - you deserved it (1599)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:18pm - misc - by scarred4life - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to get a scratch off lottery ticket, and the dude in front of me got the same one I was going to get. He won 500 dollars. I got 2 bucks. FML

#1615
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18791) - you deserved it (2238)

On 01/18/2009 at 2:12pm - misc - by steveinnewsoh - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I decided to jack it a few times because I haven't been laid in a while. After round 3 my ex called me up and said she wanted to 'talk.' When she came over she made it abundantly clear that she wanted to make whoopie. Couldn't get it up. FML

#1585
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18797) - you deserved it (36522)

On 01/18/2009 at 11:30am - intimacy - by f__k_it - United States (Oregon)

Today, I told my 10 year old brother I was turning 23. He said, "You need to get a boyfriend." FML

#1565
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20625) - you deserved it (3112)

On 01/18/2009 at 9:30am - kids - by NVP - United States (Ohio)

Today, I just got done reading all the healthy benefits that come with sex. One of them is higher self-esteem. Then I remembered that I haven't had sex in 15 months. FML

#1555
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20647) - you deserved it (2745)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - intimacy - by SSH - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he was gay and that he is in love with my younger brother. FML

#1554
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42061) - you deserved it (2396)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:41am - love - by Wenny - United States (Connecticut)

Today, the girl I've had a crush on decided she wanted to see a movie with me. I tried to hold her hand during the movie and it was great for about 4 minutes. Then she said "Can I have my hand back?" FML

#1552
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19888) - you deserved it (2892)

On 01/18/2009 at 7:12am - love - by vargasm - United States (New York)

Today, I crashed into a ditch on my way home from work. I had to walk 2 miles in -25 below zero weather before I could pick up a cell phone signal to call a tow truck. When I got back to my car, a cop was waiting for me with a ticket for leaving the scene of an accident. FML

#1542
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22004) - you deserved it (1724)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:29am - misc - by dirk855 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried buying a video game that was rated "M - for mature". The Cashier told me "you have to be 17 to buy this game". I didn't have any ID on me. I'm 25. FML

#1541
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18636) - you deserved it (3377)

On 01/18/2009 at 5:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (Massachusetts)



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