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Today, I went to the doctor because I broke my wrist. My mom told the nurse that I broke it while masturbating. FML

#2324
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25609) - you deserved it (3728)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:41am - misc - by Nik - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to walk home from school in the rain, because my mom "didn't have a car to pick me up in". But when I got home, the car had magically appeared. Just great. FML

#2319
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17802) - you deserved it (1863)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:18am - misc - by blahmina - United States (California)

Today, I invited this guy I fooled around with over to "hang out". He's "en route", so I start to make my bed only to find my cat thought this was the best time to tell me she's sick by throwing up in my bed. I only have one set of linen. FML

#2316
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16068) - you deserved it (5839)

On 01/23/2009 at 10:12am - love - by LC - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I finally went on a date with the girl I'm in love with. After dinner we went to the bar for drinks and things were going great. Right up until she went home with another guy. FML

#2303
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22493) - you deserved it (1868)

On 01/23/2009 at 8:31am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I sent a Facebook friend request to my ex. This afternoon I notice that they had accepted, and had left a message for me in my inbox. Asking how they knew me. FML

#2298
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21765) - you deserved it (3155)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:33am - love - by josh - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went back to my flat after a night on the town and staying at my girlfriend's. My flat was flooded. I had been sick in the sink and left the tap on all night. FML

#2294
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5143) - you deserved it (19037)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:08am - misc - by Moe - United Kingdom (Lincolnshire)

Today, my boyfriend told me that my feet smell. He was in the next room at the time. FML

#2293
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15480) - you deserved it (6784)

On 01/23/2009 at 7:04am - love - by sadass - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went to the movies with a friend and her grandma. Her grandma was using toothpicks and dropping them on the ground next to our popcorn bucket. I took a big handful of popcorn, and was fortunate enough to get a piece of her toothpick lodged in my throat. FML

#2289
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19763) - you deserved it (1925)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:36am - misc - by Spanky - United States (Michigan)

Today, I tried jumping off my bed over the footboard. I tripped and broke a full length mirror with my face. FML

#2286
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8195) - you deserved it (24057)

On 01/23/2009 at 6:03am - love - by Malpal - United States (Michigan)

Today, just another casual morning. I went to go drop a deuce in the bathroom. Barely being awake I didn't notice my roommates had put glad wrap between the seat and toilet, so i got piss and shit all over me. FML

#2285
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18294) - you deserved it (4362)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:45am - misc - by ohn0es - United States (Kansas)

Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

#2284
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19368) - you deserved it (1845)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:16am - money - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML

#2281
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26598) - you deserved it (10771)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:36am - intimacy - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18947) - you deserved it (4330)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)



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