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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I made a Craigslist ad looking for hot and horny women that wanted some. I only got one reply, from another guy asking me if this kind of thing actually works. FML

#2475
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4269) - you deserved it (34385)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:52pm - misc - by Farva - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was trying on clothes in a store that had just screens set up for changing. As I took off the first pair of pants had I tried on, my foot got hooked in the cuff and I fell out in my underwear in front of the whole store. FML

#2472
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16509) - you deserved it (2273)

On 01/24/2009 at 6:28pm - misc - by Teen - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I am contemplating ending my relationship of 6 years. My boyfriend is too busy playing with a plastic guitar to listen. FML

#2469
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22252) - you deserved it (3341)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:09pm - love - by fyou - United States (Michigan)

Today, I figured out that my baby-powder container can be closed by twisting the cap. I just got back from a long trip. My suitcase used to be black. FML

#2463
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5415) - you deserved it (19633)

On 01/24/2009 at 4:34pm - misc - by yacoob - United States (Connecticut)

Today, my dad walked in to the arena where I was watching a hockey game with my boyfriend and his friends. My dad was wearing a crazy grey mohawk wig/hat. Meanwhile, my boyfriend just finished telling me how embarassing it would be to be that guy's kid. FML

#2451
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19152) - you deserved it (1628)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:47pm - misc - by lizard - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I have an auto immune disease which causes my penis to look like a tie-dye t shirt. FML

#2444
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30868) - you deserved it (2248)

On 01/24/2009 at 2:05pm - health - by Damm - United States (New York)

Today, I crapped in my pants and had to wait an hour of commuting till I could clean it up. What a sight and smell it was on the subway. Thank God I had sunglasses to wear. FML

#2443
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9685) - you deserved it (24855)

On 01/24/2009 at 1:56pm - love - by screwed - Chile (Region Metropolitana)

Today, I brought a girl home from the bar. After sleeping together, she drunkenly stumbles to the bathroom to wash up. On her way back, she accidentally walks into my parents' room, turns on the lights and asks where her clothes are before figuring it out. FML

#2426
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6726) - you deserved it (28085)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:07am - love - by Jebus - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was walking in the mall and passed one of the hair product booths (with the people who constanly harrass you as you walk by). In front of half of the mall the woman working there told me that she had several products that I could use to touch up my roots. I'm a natural red head. FML

#2424
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15953) - you deserved it (2067)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:24am - misc - by Noname - United States (New York)

Today, my girlfriend said she didn't want to have sex because it takes too long. FML

#2423
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37729) - you deserved it (5118)

On 01/24/2009 at 10:14am - intimacy - by asdfasdf - Canada (Ontario)

Today, someone told me they liked my personality when i'm drunk. I asked, "what about when I'm sober?". "No, only when you're drinking." FML

#2422
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17147) - you deserved it (3091)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:53am - misc - by the-yao - United States (California)

Today, I sent out my resume to about a dozen jobs on Craigslist. I realized that I hadn't updated it in a while and went to double check it after the fact. My ex at some point had changed my objective to "I'm a cocksucker who needs a job real bad." FML

#2412
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25319) - you deserved it (7041)

On 01/24/2009 at 5:50am - money - by waitingformyfoodstamps - United States (Pennsylvania)



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