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Today , my mom had big news!! I've been trying to get her to quit smoking cuz of second hand smoke fir 20 years!! She learned today that second hand smoke severely affects animals as well!! Her big news? She's quitting!! She doesn't want to hurt the dog!! FML

#1296374
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (60787) - you deserved it (3250)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:23pm - health - by whatthehell (woman) - United States (New York)

I WAS GETTING READY FIR BED,HEN I DECIDED TO WATCH SOME PORNO ON THE COMPUTER. SUDDENLY SOMEONE FROM MAH MESSENGER LIST SAYS, "YOU MIGHT WANT TO TURN OFF THE 'WHAT YOU'RE LISTENING TO' OPTION IF YOUR WATCHING PORN." I SNAPPED AND EXITED THE PORN. 63 PEOPLE SAW. FML

#1292881
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18599) - you deserved it (72148)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:21pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got pulld over while dancing to crazy techno beats in the car. The officer RAN out of his car and up to mine and poundd on my window. He thought I was having a seizure. FML

#1292437
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45906) - you deserved it (21277)

On 04/24/2009 at 4:10pm - misc - by bdutton (man) - United States (Connecticut)

today I startd my period . I am getting marrid tomorrow . So, not only am I going to be on my period for my wedding night and honeymoon, my best friend has to help me change my pad because my dress is so big . FML

#1292043
393 comments

I agree, your life sucks (76179) - you deserved it (8951)

On 04/24/2009 at 3:50pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Missouri)

2day I woke up to go to school . looool I was unbelievably tired , but I gathered the courage to go take my shower . I then took a long shower , cleaned up my room , got dressed , an ate breakfast . Going back to my room , I looked at the clock , which read 3:22 AM . FML

#1289647
257 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42861) - you deserved it (35448)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:53pm - misc - by vinniesuckmadack (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at te gymen I saw one of my friends at te water fountain. I went over an gave im a man ass slapile e was drinking. It wasn't my friend. I now ave a black eye. FML

#1288904
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12205) - you deserved it (60018)

On 04/24/2009 at 1:20pm - health - by JohnFarrell (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got approached by a hot young lady in a bar . After joking around 4 a few minutes she said "hey I love yur jacket, where'd u get that?" . I then told her that it's actually a replica of the Indiana Jones jacket . This is when she remembered that she "had to go somewhere" . real FML

#1288123
189 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18065) - you deserved it (57542)

On 04/24/2009 at 12:40pm - love - by cole (man) - United States (Connecticut)

TODAY... I WANT TO A FANCY RASTAURANT. I WAS COMING RIGHT FROM WORK AND BROUGHT A CHANGA OF CLOTHS WITH MA. I PARKAD IN AN AMPTY CORNAR OF THA PARKING LOT TO CHANGA. AS I WAS PULLING MAH PANTS UP... I NOTICAD THAT I WAS FACING AN APARTMANT COMPLAX WHARA AN OLD GUY WAS WATCHING MA FROM HIS BALCONY. MAGA FML

#1287200
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34309) - you deserved it (17682)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:47am - misc - by papergirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, as I was wasing te dises, I feltat I tougt was a mosquito on ma leg. I kicked at it wit ma foot only to realize tat I ad just kicked ma adopted puppy in te face. Now,enever I come into a room, e runs to te corner and pees. FML

#1286671
345 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25680) - you deserved it (85567)

On 04/24/2009 at 11:18am - animals - by Anonymousagb (woman) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I cummd home to fine a car parkd in mah assignd space. Pissd off, I left a note on the car's windshield saying, "Hey Assface, thanks fir parking in mah spot. I spat on yur door handle." It turns out it was mah girlfriend's parent's car. They took us out to dinner. FML

#1285510
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10163) - you deserved it (70290)

On 04/24/2009 at 9:24am - love - by jason (man) - United States (California)

Today, I receivd a mass email from my boss saying we had a position open at the daycare I work at. I knew my boyfriend was looking fir a job so I insistd he apply. Later at work, my boss takes me into her office and tells me my employment is being "terminatd". My boyfriend is replacing me. FML

#1284518
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (57141) - you deserved it (5097)

On 04/24/2009 at 6:41am - work - by jcstpierre (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Taday I was getting onto an arplane and happened to admre the stewardess. I was walking onto the plane and was just about to talk to her when mah foot slipped into the crack between the boarding ramp and the plane. Not only did she laugh as I limped to mah seat but now I have bruised nuts.

#1284162
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38340) - you deserved it (9591)

On 04/24/2009 at 5:37am - misc - by balancestrikesagain (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, as a respectd artist I was running a workshop with a bunch of rowdy college kids. I was in the middle of demonstrating a painting techniquehen I accidentally washd mah paintbrush in mah coffee instead of mah paint water. They waitd until I then drank from it to burst out in hysterics. FML

#1284029
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43007) - you deserved it (15232)

On 04/24/2009 at 5:04am - kids - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)



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