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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, we were out smoking a bit of spliff just walking around. We saw a place to sit down in this little car park we were walking past. The cops came over and busted us. Turns out we were in the main car park for the cop shop. FML

#922
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4663) - you deserved it (35930)

On 01/10/2009 at 1:50am - misc - by karl - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I made some popcorn. Returning to the kitchen a couple of minutes later, I realized I was supposed to put a cover on the saucepan. FML

#921
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5156) - you deserved it (20798)

On 01/10/2009 at 1:34am - misc - by csully - Sent from mobile version

Today, my alarm went off. I snoozed it, and went on to dream that I got out of bed, did my business, brushed my teeth, took my breakfast, changed into my working attire, and was ready for work that morning. My alarm rang a second time, I had to do all that over again. FML

#920
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21326) - you deserved it (3618)

On 01/10/2009 at 12:39am - misc - by doh - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I came home from work. I crept up to the bedroom to gently wake up my girlfriend. I touch her shoulder and slowly leant in to give her a tender kiss. She suddenly wakes up and grabs me by the throat... I keep forgetting she's in the army. FML

#919
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26984) - you deserved it (7970)

On 01/09/2009 at 10:23pm - love - by Cùchulainn - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went on a walk. I like to crush acorns as I go. One nut was actually a piece of dog poop. FML

#896
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8757) - you deserved it (20942)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:40am - animals - by Elizabeth - United States (Texas)

Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

#895
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18333) - you deserved it (3165)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I went to the UK for the first time, and had the most amazing time with my girlfriend, catching it all on tape. When I got back to South America, I realized someone had stolen my camera. FML

#892
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18742) - you deserved it (2045)

On 01/09/2009 at 4:02am - misc - by Wex - Chile (Antofagasta)

Today, I was teaching a class but kids were chatting. After 3 soap box speeches about "The next person who talks gets a note to take home," one kid looked right at me and went "meow". FML

#891
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20740) - you deserved it (6518)

On 01/09/2009 at 3:54am - kids - by Liz - Sent from mobile version

Today, like every month, the beautician spent 10 minutes removing the hairs from my stomach. I'm a girl. FML

#887
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18948) - you deserved it (2148)

On 01/09/2009 at 12:18am - misc - by Noname - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boss told me that we are having a big meeting tomorrow, with lots of important people. Before leaving the room he added "Please, tomorrow, try to dress better." FML

#884
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15343) - you deserved it (5236)

On 01/08/2009 at 10:38pm - work - by Nalya - Sent from mobile version

Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML

#865
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17384) - you deserved it (1562)

On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20900) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

#818
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24331) - you deserved it (6758)

On 01/08/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by sampaloompy - United States (Pennsylvania)



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