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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I saw a homeless man asking for money for food. Not wanting to give him money so he'd spend it on booze, I decided to buy him a full big mac meal from McDonalds. When I went to hand it to him, he quickly waved his hand, denying it saying, "Thanks but I'm a vegetarian". FML

#2596
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22387) - you deserved it (4641)

On 01/25/2009 at 10:44pm - misc - by Michelle C - United States (California)

Today, while I was babysitting my nephews, the 7 year old boy walked up to me and asked if I was a lesbian. I laughed it off. An argument ensued about my sexuality for a good two hours. I lost. FML

#2591
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25013) - you deserved it (3729)

On 01/25/2009 at 9:51pm - kids - by ThatsNotRight - United States (Hawaii)

Today, I was in a hurry to get to work, and in my car I had two drinks settled down in my cup holder. One was my coffee, and the other was an unfinished cup of coffee where I ash and toss my cigarettes. FML

#2590
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4544) - you deserved it (24075)

On 01/25/2009 at 9:38pm - misc - by smoker - United States (California)

JennaWenna's comment : I think it's funny that you think it's a FML moment to drink from a cup that has your cigarette ashes in it, but yet you inhale that shit into your lungs multiple times a day. Just saying

See all the comments →

Today, the pharmacy lady wished me a happy birthday. I was buying the morning after pill. FML

#2565
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28351) - you deserved it (7131)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by God hates me - United States (Texas)

Today, I am studying abroad in Mexico and someone asked me what it's like to be from Minnesota. I responded in Spanish, in front of thirty people, what I thought translated to, "If you get cold, you can just put on a jacket." Apparently, what I thought meant "jacket" actually meant "masturbate". FML

#2562
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17200) - you deserved it (4404)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:06pm - misc - by Sally - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I downloaded the 'Dark was the Night' compilation made for charity. I have no soul. FML

#2527
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4138) - you deserved it (21482)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:52pm - misc - by Champs - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was going to end a thing I had with this guy. It turned out that he got back together with his ex-girlfriend and was just using me as a back up. FML

#2522
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17548) - you deserved it (3385)

On 01/25/2009 at 11:47am - love - by thesporkhop - United States (Nevada)

Today, I was talking to my mom about my younger brother getting his girlfriend pregnant. She asked me how old I was when I first had sex. I'm a 21 year old virgin. FML

#2509
113 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37744) - you deserved it (4828)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:52am - intimacy - by aces10 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to set up his new Mac and transfer all the pictures from his old notebook. Seems like he forgot that when he went on vacation 2 months ago he took pictures of him getting it on with another guy. We've been together for 3 years and just moved in together. FML

#2506
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33709) - you deserved it (2337)

On 01/25/2009 at 8:07am - love - by theamericandream - United States (Illinois)

Today, a ball rolled up to me, so I picked it up and threw it over the school wall. A little boy who was behind me asked for his ball back. It's Sunday and the school is closed. FML

#2505
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7214) - you deserved it (30508)

On 01/25/2009 at 7:36am - misc - by - Sent from mobile version

Today, I promised my best friend I wouldn't let her hook up with any guys (she got an STD a few weeks ago). After we tossed a few back she led about 30 people in a chant of "cockblock" after I wouldnt let her go home with some random dude. FML

#2489
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42914) - you deserved it (3311)

On 01/25/2009 at 12:54am - intimacy - by cockblockingbitch - United States (Washington)

Today, I got a text message saying "I'm sorry, I know it's our 4 month anniversary but it's not working out, I need to break up with you" followed by her complaining that I never call her as well. WTF? I haven't had a girlfriend for 6 months. FML

#2488
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20917) - you deserved it (2171)

On 01/24/2009 at 11:25pm - love - by EpicFail - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML

#2485
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20347) - you deserved it (1840)

On 01/24/2009 at 9:47pm - love - by ohfantastic - United States (California)



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