Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29180) - you deserved it (5346)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16885) - you deserved it (45897)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30475) - you deserved it (3235)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML

#13891
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28632) - you deserved it (6967)

On 02/07/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by notpreggers (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

#13889
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11625) - you deserved it (22584)

On 02/07/2009 at 7:53pm - misc - by tarheels526 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

#13786
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33926) - you deserved it (2372)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

#13772
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8411) - you deserved it (75601)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by facepalmshroomer (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I logged onto facebook to realize that my boyfriend is now listed as single. News to me. FML

#13746
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42632) - you deserved it (3079)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:04pm - misc - by klv8 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I sang at a retirement home with my school choir. Afterward we went to speak to the old people, just to get to know them a little. The first woman I shake hands with ask "Are you a boy or a girl?" FML

#13743
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25937) - you deserved it (3673)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:02pm - misc - by ChoirGuy (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML

#13635
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27451) - you deserved it (9477)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by woo. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

#13590
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27182) - you deserved it (5911)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

#13558
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28037) - you deserved it (4237)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by StupidCar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17259) - you deserved it (30031)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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