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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a guy sitting next to me in class asked me for a pen. I accidentally handed him a tampon instead. FML

#3375
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25419) - you deserved it (7662)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:55pm - misc - by iFail - United States (California)

Today, my parents told me that they received a letter from a prison. Being curious they opened it up and read the entire thing. It was from this girl I randomly met. Now I have a prison stalker and my parents think I date felons. FML

#3360
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18874) - you deserved it (2298)

On 01/29/2009 at 12:04pm - misc - by K Holed - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy the Plan B pill. The pharmacist recognized me and said, "Really? Again?" FML

#3333
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8764) - you deserved it (32908)

On 01/29/2009 at 10:19am - misc - by Hahaha - United States (California)

Today, I found an ad for my job at my company on an online job board. FML

#3292
11 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24542) - you deserved it (1702)

On 01/29/2009 at 8:06am - work - by Noname - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, my friend had to leave work early for a funeral and on his way out I wanted to say something. All I could think of was "have fun". FML

#3269
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7422) - you deserved it (17866)

On 01/29/2009 at 5:27am - misc - by jalopenos - United Kingdom (Somerset)

Today, my nephew asked me how babies are made. I thought he'd had this chat with his mom, but I went in to it again. After a 20 minute 'discussion', he says "So what about the good stuff - get to the blowjobs and the lesbians." He's 11. FML

#3221
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29804) - you deserved it (3251)

On 01/28/2009 at 9:31pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5816) - you deserved it (30572)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I were in a hallway talking while a man kept walking by and turning around. I then asked him "WHAT are you LOOKING for!". It was a blind man. FML

#3202
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5820) - you deserved it (24153)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by wsumt - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18821) - you deserved it (2511)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

#3194
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5895) - you deserved it (21861)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Owned - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25153) - you deserved it (5715)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17632) - you deserved it (4745)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31555) - you deserved it (4386)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)



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