Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I turned around in my cubicle to see the entire marketing department (myself excluded) getting ready to have lunch together. Nobody mentioned it to me. FML

#865
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17371) - you deserved it (1562)

On 01/08/2009 at 8:30am - work - by Webmonkey - United States (Texas)

Today, taking the train to work after the worst hangover ever, two immense fat women start talking about rim jobs. I got up to switch cabins just in time for their conversation to switch over to RECEIVING rim jobs. I sprayed puke all over myself and an innocent bystander. FML

#857
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20893) - you deserved it (3668)

On 01/08/2009 at 6:21am - health - by depraved - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I enjoy reading this site and other people's suffering just to feel better about my own life. FML

#818
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24322) - you deserved it (6753)

On 01/08/2009 at 3:32am - misc - by sampaloompy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was talking to a charming young lady on MSN by webcam. She suddenly asked me to take my glasses off for a minute; I did so, and she said, "Oh never mind, you're still just as ugly..." FML

#814
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19920) - you deserved it (2012)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:55am - misc - by neoteck - Sent from mobile version

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18605) - you deserved it (2542)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I met a really hot chick while waiting for the bus. We spoke for 4 hours till we got to our destination. She hugged me and we parted ways. Later that day I realised she stole my phone. FML

#803
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23858) - you deserved it (3500)

On 01/07/2009 at 10:59pm - love - by KiloLima01 - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my car was broken into. They broke the passenger side window and took my radio system. But they didn't take the remote for it. FML

#800
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14880) - you deserved it (1803)

On 01/07/2009 at 9:28pm - misc - by Donezoo - United States (California)

Today, I signed up on one of those "cheater" dating sites. I ended up meeting my own girlfriend. FML

#798
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13533) - you deserved it (69093)

On 01/07/2009 at 6:56pm - intimacy - by Lou Czar - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boss called me in to tell me I had got a raise. I bought a $1500 Chanel bag. Two hours later he called me in to tell me he was kidding. FML

#792
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14325) - you deserved it (36448)

On 01/07/2009 at 4:54pm - money - by Perdedor - United States (New York)

Today, I fell in love with a girl on the internet, she's great and funny. She says she's 16, but everyone keeps telling me she's only 11 and that I'm a pedophile. FML

#781
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7414) - you deserved it (35042)

On 01/07/2009 at 3:17pm - love - by Sidney - United Kingdom (London)

Today, I lost my third phone in a year. Making it a grand total of 11 telephones lost or stolen in the past 3 years. FML

#780
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7530) - you deserved it (24452)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:57pm - misc - by failphone - United States (California)

Today, my ex girlfriend that I still love sent me a text, quote "I still love you, but i'm not IN love with you" um. what? FML

#779
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22379) - you deserved it (2967)

On 01/07/2009 at 2:23pm - love - by wtf - United States (Michigan)

Today, I fell in love with a girl who used to love me. She doesn't anymore. FML

#777
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19424) - you deserved it (16164)

On 01/07/2009 at 12:00pm - love - by Faxshadow - United Kingdom (Hampshire)



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