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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, a student of mine used the phrase "well, you know, like back in your day" about defining "going out". I'm only 24. FML

#1158
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19739) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:20pm - kids - by Old? - United States (Washington)

Today, I woke up with a hangover and my girlfriend seemed pissed at me. It took me a while before I remembered having sex the night before. I just didn't know exactly what had happened after that had pissed her off. Then I realized nothing happened, because I fell asleep while she was on top of me. FML

#1148
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7863) - you deserved it (33804)

On 01/14/2009 at 4:10pm - intimacy - by Holymoly - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I met a woman that I've been emailing and trading pics with for over a month. We had a face to face, she was surprisingly overweight, and the sun hit her face in a way that radiated all her facial hair. FML

#1122
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8962) - you deserved it (23593)

On 01/14/2009 at 11:03am - love - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, a co-worker asked me if I had a comb he could borrow. I'm bald. FML

#1114
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20747) - you deserved it (2237)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:32am - love - by poisonhand - United States (Michigan)

Today, a drunk girl asked me for directions to her hotel. I had just bought an empanada and was feeling good, so I agree to look up the address on my phone. Two minutes and a text charge later, I got the address. Out of inebriated glee, she hugged me and knocked the tasty empanada out of my hand. FML

#1108
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16402) - you deserved it (3734)

On 01/14/2009 at 10:01am - misc - by Hungry - United States (Virginia)

Today, I finished part of a project. When I asked my coworkers what they thought, they said they liked one of the few things that had already been implemented almost a year ago. Thanks for noticing. FML

#1106
6 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12583) - you deserved it (1802)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:30am - work - by notcool - United States (California)

Today, my mom asked all the old ladies in her church to pray that I meet "someone special". FML

#1104
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19342) - you deserved it (1710)

On 01/14/2009 at 9:26am - love - by beekie9 - United States (Illinois)

Today, the ugliest girl in school walked by me and said "ewwww". FML

#1091
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24181) - you deserved it (7219)

On 01/14/2009 at 8:09am - love - by Mr. Shawzy - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I organized a party, invited a girl I've been secretly in love with for years, as well as a friend of mine who brought along an unknown mate of his. The party was fine, although the unknown mate threw up all over the floor. Now, the girl is dating that unknown mate and is in love with him. FML

#1083
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19059) - you deserved it (2120)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:57am - love - by bbns - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I went to the bagel shop down the street for breakfast, the same one I've been going to for over 6 months now. At the counter the same lil' cook guy who's served me over those same 6 months, looks at me and says, "Yes, Ms?". I'm a guy. FML

#1077
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16772) - you deserved it (2068)

On 01/14/2009 at 6:06am - misc - by dunnough - United States (New York)

Today, I was having a cybersex chat with a "girl" on a website whilst at work. I noticed my colleague who sits next to me start cracking up with laughter. Turned out it was him I was chatting with and he was winding me up. Worst thing is it had given me a stiffy. FML

#1065
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10125) - you deserved it (46524)

On 01/14/2009 at 3:49am - intimacy - by diddlysquat - United Kingdom (Wakefield)

Today, my husband called me “my little zebra”. I gave birth a month ago, and I’ve kept a few stretch marks. FML

#1058
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24213) - you deserved it (2101)

On 01/14/2009 at 1:33am - love - by noname - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, I got together with a small gathering of friends in a bar. I go up to the bar to order something, but with all the music and noise, the barman can't hear what I'm trying to say, so he leans forward, cocking his ear towards me. For some reason, I thought he was being friendly so I kissed him as if we were saying hello to each other. FML

#1056
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8926) - you deserved it (17219)

On 01/14/2009 at 12:01am - misc - by Ad-s - Sent from mobile version



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