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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, when I was at my girlfriend's house, I farted and blamed it on the cat. I forgot the cat died 2 weeks ago. FML

#3203
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5812) - you deserved it (30570)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:05pm - animals - by kittydead - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my friend and I were in a hallway talking while a man kept walking by and turning around. I then asked him "WHAT are you LOOKING for!". It was a blind man. FML

#3202
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5819) - you deserved it (24142)

On 01/28/2009 at 8:04pm - misc - by wsumt - United States (Ohio)

Today, my friend sent me the link to this website with a message that said, "You'll feel at home." FML

#3195
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18811) - you deserved it (2510)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:33pm - misc - by AKN - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

#3194
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5894) - you deserved it (21859)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Owned - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25152) - you deserved it (5715)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17629) - you deserved it (4745)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31260) - you deserved it (4351)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18412) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5364) - you deserved it (38921)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21509) - you deserved it (2661)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8906) - you deserved it (23115)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33936) - you deserved it (4919)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20886) - you deserved it (4426)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)



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