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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18411) - you deserved it (1726)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5361) - you deserved it (38915)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21505) - you deserved it (2661)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8906) - you deserved it (23115)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33932) - you deserved it (4919)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20885) - you deserved it (4426)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23019) - you deserved it (2106)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48517) - you deserved it (6618)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24207) - you deserved it (1770)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I went into my office and told my boss that I hated my job and was quitting on the spot. I tried to leave quickly but I slipped and fell on the marble floor right in front of everybody during my exit. FML

#3037
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17369) - you deserved it (5066)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:50am - work - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, on my 18th birthday, my mom told me the man I thought was my father for 18 years was actually not my father, and my real father was in prison for murder. FML

#3036
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44795) - you deserved it (1635)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:42am - misc - by kiddo - United States (Illinois)

camperben's comment : That guy in prison was the sperm donor. The guy who changed your diapers and lived with you for 18 years is your Father.

See all the comments →

Today, I was in bed next to the boy I loved, he had just came and passed out immediately afterwards. I reached over to look at my phone but grabbed his instead and saw a text message from his ex-girlfriend that read "I love you too." FML

#3029
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44302) - you deserved it (3329)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:12am - intimacy - by splooge - United States (Virginia)

Today, I posted on a forum asking if I could be a moderator. Instead, I got banned. FML

#3026
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6675) - you deserved it (26374)

On 01/28/2009 at 10:00am - misc - by hypebeast - United States (New York)



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