Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Man or woman?

Today, I told a girl I liked her. She replied, "Don't". FML

#75697
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55578) - you deserved it (5208)

On 02/19/2009 at 2:08am - love - by grlks (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to try this new cardio workout video I got. As I was obnoxiously bouncing around my room I heard a noise behind me. Turns out there were three boys outside my window watching. FML

#75556
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14416) - you deserved it (25124)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:51am - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend and I were in Victoria's Secret. I saw a picture of a model and said, "I wish I looked like that." He replied with, "Me too." FML

#75423
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40211) - you deserved it (21843)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:29am - love - by littelace - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was looking after a hamster for a friend. My dog ate it. FML

#75299
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48227) - you deserved it (9797)

On 02/19/2009 at 1:14am - animals - by zac545 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I told my parents I really missed them and wanted to come home for the weekend, I haven't seen them in months. They told me that was a bad idea and they couldnt fit me into their schedule. I asked what their plans were. They said they didn't have any yet. FML

#74820
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45211) - you deserved it (2195)

On 02/19/2009 at 12:28am - misc - by sucks2suck (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I walked through my college dorm and a freshman was watching some overly dramatic show on her laptop. I smiled and asked if it was a new episode of 'Gossip Girl.' She was on a video chat with her boyfriend. They were about to break up. FML

#74742
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11529) - you deserved it (42511)

On 02/19/2009 at 12:22am - love - by baddormgirl (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I let my friend cut my hair and after a few minutes, she looked at what she had done and then she ran out of the room, laughing. FML

#73604
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33147) - you deserved it (15106)

On 02/18/2009 at 10:51pm - misc - by Rye (woman) - United States (California)

Today, me and my boyfriend were hooking up while watching a movie. Just as I was getting really into it, he told me to move my head. He couldn't see the television. FML

#71498
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33301) - you deserved it (5290)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:55pm - intimacy - by happyasaclam (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I told my long-distance girlfriend that I just could not handle the distance and we should just be friends. To which she responded, "What? You thought we were going out? Lol". FML

#71381
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41461) - you deserved it (7685)

On 02/18/2009 at 7:43pm - misc - by Fack. (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to McDonald's for lunch and ordered a salad. The man behind the counter looked at me and said "Well, at least you're trying." FML

#70885
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53002) - you deserved it (8406)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:52pm - health - by blawbo (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my four-year-old cousin gave me a hug, basically stuffing his face into my crotch. Then he pulled it out and said "Ew, that's stinky" in front of my entire class. FML

#70656
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46855) - you deserved it (11878)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:27pm - kids - by girlmeetsworld - United States (New York)

Today, my tattoo artist boyfriend of five months gave me my first tattoo in celebration of my 18th birthday. It was supposed to be a heart with my name in script. He spelled my name wrong. FML

#70585
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54463) - you deserved it (15020)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:20pm - misc - by authentic (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom busted in my room to ask if I'm okay because she thought the squeaking was my crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML

#70419
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24462) - you deserved it (57427)

On 02/18/2009 at 6:01pm - intimacy - by dirtyhands (woman) - United States (Florida)



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