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Today, I jokingly told my mom that I was having sex with my Professor. Her response was, "As long as you're getting A's, honey!" FML

#93640
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28667) - you deserved it (48435)

On 02/21/2009 at 12:36am - intimacy - by acincollege (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I handed in an assignment in health class that had to calculate my BMI. Embarassed by my weight I put it 15 pounds less. I got the assignment back and lost credit for something. Circled in red pen on the top was you must put your "EXACT" weight. FML

#92098
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38070) - you deserved it (16143)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:49pm - work - by ohh jeez. - United States (New Jersey)

Today, a girl I really liked mentioned she's home alone and that she was really really lonely. She offered for me to come over and watch a few movies with her, and as I got prepared to leave she sent me a text saying " can you pick up my friend Spencer? " FML

#92040
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42734) - you deserved it (2865)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:42pm - love - by batman123 (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a 32 year old man I had been dating for a few months, finally took me to his place. To my surprise, this bachelor had a huge and very clean home! Also, to my surprise, I met the REAL homeowner. His grandmother, who came home early. We were having sex on her couch at the time. FML

#92006
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53238) - you deserved it (9376)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:39pm - intimacy - by x (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I went to get my blood drawn for the first time. After I explained to the nurse how nervous I was, she replied, "Oh honey, don't worry! This is my first time too!" FML

#91995
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47273) - you deserved it (2458)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - health - by trackgurl (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went for a run and took my shirt off part way through. The next person I saw was a nine year old girl playing outside her house. She looked at me and said, "Ewwwwww! Gross!" FML

#91993
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16637) - you deserved it (23708)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:37pm - misc - by Jim Smith (man) - United States (California)

Today, I got to Costa Rica for my first vacation in five years. I immediately rented a scooter for the week after checking into my prepaid, no refunds, hotel. On the way back from the rental agency I hit a pothole and broke my leg and ripped the skin off my foot. I'm flying home tomorrow. FML

#91860
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41207) - you deserved it (3446)

On 02/20/2009 at 9:20pm - misc - by Dale (man) - Costa Rica (San Jose)

Today, I drunk dialed my mom and told her I was so high and drunk that I thought the KGB was coming after me. When I woke up this morning, my mom told me that she's no longer paying for college. FML

#90754
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17245) - you deserved it (113171)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - money - by Noname (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I called my girlfriend and she answered telling me how amazing the sex was last night and she can't wait to see me later. I didn't see her last night. FML

#90751
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (92627) - you deserved it (4325)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by screewit (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I woke up after having had sex with my 4-year crush expecting to find him in bed next to me. Instead, I found my cell phone with a text message from him that said "you should really do something about the pimples on your ass." FML

#90638
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (67488) - you deserved it (10663)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:25pm - intimacy - by acw2110 (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was riding the train and fell asleep. A friend of mine got on a few stops later, and to be funny, shouted 'BOO!'. I woke up and was so startled I peed myself. FML

#90535
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40229) - you deserved it (6149)

On 02/20/2009 at 6:13pm - misc - by niabby - United States (Illinois)

Today, after I got home from school I went to my room to find the maid had cleaned it, also to find a bag labeled "trash" it was all the sketches and paintings I had done in art class, which is my major plan for college. FML

#90322
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42597) - you deserved it (3939)

On 02/20/2009 at 5:46pm - misc - by Photos - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized that there are more framed pictures of my mom's dog than pictures of me around the house. FML

#89971
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37234) - you deserved it (2936)

On 02/20/2009 at 5:02pm - animals - by d0pey (man) - United States (California)



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