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Today, we received a wedding invitation from a couple who are renting an apartment from us. They haven't paid rent for several months. My father is listed as the "principal sponsor." FML

#2284
19 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19314) - you deserved it (1839)

On 01/23/2009 at 5:16am - money - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I went to Target to buy some soap and this 65-70 year old woman next to me was asking a sales associate if they had any bubble bath mix. I suddenly pictured her naked, bathing herself and suddenly my dick just couldn't sit still. It's probably because I haven't had sex in over 22 months. FML

#2281
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26552) - you deserved it (10756)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:36am - intimacy - by fecurtis - United States (Virginia)

Today, I'm sick. I got the flu shot for the first time ever this year and for the first time in my life, I have the flu. FML

#2279
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18888) - you deserved it (4325)

On 01/23/2009 at 3:24am - health - by cyantist - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I decided to give things a go with the guy that has fancied me for three years, based purely on my looks. After getting to know my personality he has decided he no longer fancies me at all. FML

#2272
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17050) - you deserved it (6555)

On 01/23/2009 at 1:41am - love - by twat - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, in class, I asked my teacher for a "rubber". I didn't realise that in America "rubber" doesn't mean "eraser", it means condom. FML

#2256
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (58524) - you deserved it (7765)

On 01/22/2009 at 7:42pm - intimacy - by TheEnglishOne - United States (California)

Today, I danced with a girl until the bar closed. We went back to my place. She had a penis. FML

#2248
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46733) - you deserved it (8744)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:27pm - love - by Noname - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boss replied-to-all to a memo I sent, wherein he states that "Filipino" should be spelled with a double P. He spells his nationality with a double R. He's from Morocco. FML

#2247
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13091) - you deserved it (2057)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:26pm - misc - by moronicmoroccan - Philippines (Rizal)

Today, I made fun of my friend when she tripped over the curb. I said, loudly, "Haha, you can't even walk." I then notice the man in the wheelchair a few feet ahead of us. FML

#2244
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7357) - you deserved it (26042)

On 01/22/2009 at 6:22pm - misc - by william - United States (Arizona)

Today, my ex-boyfriend who I am still in love with sends me a text message that says "I miss you, baby". It turns out my name comes right after his girlfriend's name on his contact list. FML

#2236
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21744) - you deserved it (1642)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:47pm - love - by yeah... - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was offered a promotion but for the same pay. Promotion... WTF? FML

#2234
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21109) - you deserved it (1825)

On 01/22/2009 at 5:35pm - work - by Promo girl - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I got a mailer from Adam and Eve with a bunch of hard core porn ads inside. I have been getting these since i ordered a Pirate porn video a few months ago. I was gone for a few weeks overseas. My mother-in-law was getting the mail. FML

#2226
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6042) - you deserved it (22296)

On 01/22/2009 at 4:31pm - love - by Noname - United States (Texas)

Today, I moved back home because I got laid off and could no longer afford my apartment. I decided to take a nap and when I woke up I overheard my Mom telling my Aunt that she used to be so proud of me and wonders when I became such a loser. Burn. FML

#2215
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21401) - you deserved it (2398)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:49pm - misc - by TotallyFkd - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, a girl invited me over to her dorm room at 3 AM. For some reason, I thought it would be a good idea to respond to e-mails just before. She said she was tired and then went to bed. I'm a F*ing idiot. FML

#2212
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4730) - you deserved it (40072)

On 01/22/2009 at 3:34pm - love - by Princeton - United States (New Jersey)



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