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Today, I went to the gym to run. I ended up at the hospital because i went into anaphylactic shock. Apparently I'm allergic to exercise now. FML

#36818
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33639) - you deserved it (3150)

On 02/13/2009 at 12:46pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (District of Columbia)

supafly208's comment : hahahaha. wow... first of all, don't accept any drinks from him. and going to his room for late night "work" means you're gonna bleed from where you're not supposed to! :D and if you're at dinner and he asks you to toss his salad.... he doesn't mean the kind from a restaurant with ranch. BTW, have fun on your trip.

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Today, for the first time in months, I got a call from a beautiful girl asking me what I was doing tonight. Then my battery died. FML

#36219
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41497) - you deserved it (7579)

On 02/13/2009 at 10:02am - misc - by shinoza (man) - Malaysia (Kuala Lumpur)

Today, I found a bone in my sandwich. It was a veggie burger. FML

#36182
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41446) - you deserved it (6936)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:45am - misc - by veggiegal (woman) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was lying in bed with my boyfriend, he grabbed my double chin and goes "gobble, gobble". FML

#36168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35197) - you deserved it (17967)

On 02/13/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by fmlfmboyfriendah (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, it was my first day working at a milking parlor. As I crouched behind a cow to put on an udder cluster, I looked up and gasped just in time for the cow to crap on my face. FML

#35996
10 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40847) - you deserved it (6153)

On 02/13/2009 at 7:42am - animals - by abi_vet_student (woman) - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I was expelled from school. By my own mother. FML

#35910
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27392) - you deserved it (34761)

On 02/13/2009 at 6:07am - misc - by Kulcha (man) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I found out that my parents can see a screen-by-screen of everything I say and do on my computer. FML

#35844
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49124) - you deserved it (7084)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:57am - misc - by Yazzy (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I gave my girlfriend a new TV as a 10th anniversary present. She gave me a torch on a keyring. FML

#35828
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30366) - you deserved it (6096)

On 02/13/2009 at 4:46am - misc - by Tamps (man) - United Kingdom (Liverpool)

Today, I realized that I know more about the history of the Transformers than I do about talking to women. FML

#35674
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11556) - you deserved it (39804)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:17am - misc - by AwesomePGnarles (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I had to give a speech on stage at a local preschool about fire safety. I'm 32 years old and passed out on stage because I felt extremely nervous and intimitated by a group of 4 year olds. FML

#35636
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35401) - you deserved it (7291)

On 02/13/2009 at 3:06am - misc - by buster (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I asked my mom how much she had set aside for college. She then looked and me as if I were crazy and said "Why the hell would I do anything like that?" FML

#34502
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37667) - you deserved it (3785)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:25pm - misc - by Dariya (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was pestering a co-worker, so she jokingly stated "I'll bury you!" and I replied "I'll bury your mom!". Her moms funeral was last week. FML

#34420
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12519) - you deserved it (42866)

On 02/12/2009 at 11:12pm - misc - by idkmybffjill? (woman) - United States (New York)



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  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

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