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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was walking down the street with my newly healed implants, when a drag queen approached me and asked who my doctor was, because I was the "most convincing transgender he had ever seen." I'm a woman. FML

#13635
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27406) - you deserved it (9472)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:51pm - misc - by woo. - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went looking for a childhood doll - I remembered that my mum kept her in her bedside cabinet. I could see the doll at the back, but there was stuff in the way, so I reached in and took some of it out, only to find I was holding one of my mum's toys... a big black rubber cock. FML

#13590
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27160) - you deserved it (5909)

On 02/07/2009 at 4:16pm - misc - by J (woman) - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I spent 600 dollars to have my brakes fixed on my car, they weren't squeaking. I got my car back and now the brakes squeal and my air conditioning won't work. I just spent 600 dollars to break my car even more. FML

#13558
21 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28006) - you deserved it (4237)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:56pm - misc - by StupidCar (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, while I was trying to take off my eye make up, I accidentally used nail polish remover. FML

#13539
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17246) - you deserved it (29995)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:43pm - misc - by Snow (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, my mom was telling me a funny story about when I was young. So I said 'yeah I was funny huh?' She replied 'Yep, I had a funny one and a pretty one'. FML

#13534
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29639) - you deserved it (2080)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:42pm - misc - by Noname - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went to Subway to grab some lunch. As I was paying, the cashier gave me a tip. He told me of a great acne medication that would do wonders. Thanks. FML

#13491
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (2875)

On 02/07/2009 at 3:09pm - misc - by chichi (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was passing a building and saw a fat, ugly person inside. I started to laugh and noticed it was my reflection. FML

#13325
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13046) - you deserved it (64338)

On 02/07/2009 at 1:16pm - misc - by name50 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, as my boyfriend was trying to convince me that he was not having an affair with another woman named Julie, he looked me in the eye and exclaimed, "I would never cheat on you, I love you more than anything, Julie". FML

#13222
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46166) - you deserved it (2701)

On 02/07/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by princesspea (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I called the campus police to give me a ride to the cafeteria since I am on crutches from knee surgery. I was only halfway into the car when the man started driving and ran over my foot. Now neither my right knee or my left foot work. FML

#12898
17 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37231) - you deserved it (1760)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by brokenkneechick (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I realized my best friend has had it off in my apartment more times than I have. FML

#12896
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32597) - you deserved it (4800)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:23am - misc - by paradox (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was talking to a guy at the bar and I told him I was a biology major. He promptly said, "NEXT" and moved on to the girl next to me. FML

#12870
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30070) - you deserved it (3010)

On 02/07/2009 at 2:07am - misc - by biomajor (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I had a meeting at work. My boss was there as well as her boss, and a few other managers and directors. We started discussing politics in the context of our latest project. I tried to say "erratic election". I almost succeeded. FML

#12756
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21735) - you deserved it (5152)

On 02/07/2009 at 12:44am - misc - by Flubber (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, My roommate texted me and warned me to be careful on the stairs leading to our place because they were icy. I got the message. After I fell down an entire flight of stone stairs. FML

#12686
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23555) - you deserved it (3048)

On 02/06/2009 at 11:58pm - misc - by CBM2012 (woman) - United States (Virginia)



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