Today, I was playing around on Photo Booth, using weird effects on pictures of myself. I clicked on one and thought to myself that it was a really ugly effect. Then I noticed that it was set on normal. FML

by ugly5402 / 01/06/2010 at 4:05pm / United States (Illinois) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out my dad spent most of the $500 I earned from mowing lawns on an Xbox 360 for himself. He was the one who encouraged me to put the money in the bank for college and to learn responsibility. I'm 14 years old. He's 37. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2010 at 1:19pm / United States (Florida) / Money

Today, my 5 month old son decided that my lip ring was a toy. Thinking it would be ok, I let him touch it. He got his finger caught and pulled his hand back. The lip ring is still in, but now I have a huge gaping hole in my face. FML

by pinky / 01/06/2010 at 1:12pm / United Kingdom (London) / Kids

Today, after months of job hunting, I got a call back for a position. I was outside at the time and had no pen or paper available to write the address down. I told the guy to call me back in 5 minutes and he agreed. It's been 3 hours and still no call. FML

by noluckwhatsoever / 01/06/2010 at 11:44am / United States (New York) / Work

Today, I went to the DMV to renew my license. When I gave the woman behind the desk my name and social security number she looked confused. She then called over her manager, who did the same thing. Getting nervous, I asked what was wrong. Apparently according to the state of Illinois I'm dead. FML

by driver / 01/06/2010 at 9:55am / United States (Illinois) / Transportation

me5's comment : The state of ilinois never lies!! Go back to your grave!

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Today, it was snowing really badly, so my boss said that everyone who drove to work could leave. But because I got the bus in, she said that I should stay and do a full day. By the time she eventually decided it was bad enough for me to leave, the buses were cancelled. FML

by Snowzies / 01/06/2010 at 8:42am / United Kingdom / Transportation

Today, I treated my friends to lunch at a posh restaurant because it's my birthday. While we were walking leisurely around the mall afterwards, their boyfriends showed up. I spent the next few hours walking alone behind them while they were walking hand in hand with their boyfriends. FML

by ribbonsundone / 01/06/2010 at 5:07am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, while standing by the kitchen window I noticed a mouse running across our lawn on top of the snow. I called my two daughters to come see it, but by the time they got to the window a hawk was shredding the poor thing to pieces. My kids didn't stop crying for two hours. FML

by motheroftwo / 01/06/2010 at 3:41am / Norway (Oslo) / Animals

Today, my girlfriend accused me of not having any friends. So I sent out a mass text saying "Hey, what's up?" to prove her wrong. I didn't get any replies. FML

by Nox / 01/06/2010 at 2:25am / United States (North Carolina) / Miscellaneous

Today, I realized that the only time my girlfriend ever calls me is when she's drunk. FML

by drunkdial / 01/06/2010 at 12:53am / Love

Today, I went to my boyfriend's house so that he could break up with me. I went out to my car to leave only to discover that all of the wheels had been stolen. Even the spare. I had to spend the rest of the day with my ex-boyfriend finding a way to get my car home. FML

by lug_nut / 01/06/2010 at 12:24am / United States (Tennessee) / Love

Today, I drove my new car with a manual transmission for the first time by myself. I was at a stoplight and saw a cute guy in the car next to me. He looked my way and gave me "the nod". The light turned green and I tried to go but I stalled out, lurching my car forward right into the car next to me. FML

by Anonymous / 01/06/2010 at 12:06am / United States (Colorado) / Transportation

Today, my pet bird died. He had caught some illness and had been extremely sick for the past few days. He didn't die from the illness though. My dog ate him. FML

by nomorepetbird / 01/05/2010 at 10:30pm / United States (Texas) / Animals