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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, me and a friend I met in the club were sandwiching this blonde girl dancing, when 5 minutes later she turned around and said that I should get another girl and gently brushed me aside. FML

#3194
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5295) - you deserved it (20115)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Owned - Taiwan (T'ai-pei)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. I pulled a muscle taking my sweater off in the locker room. FML

#3193
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23341) - you deserved it (5386)

On 01/28/2009 at 7:30pm - misc - by j4y - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I decided to make a toaster scramble. I thought it was bad enough when the pastry fell through the grate in the toaster over. Then it burst into flames. After 5 minutes of fanning the smoke away from the smoke detector, it still went off. Now my entire dorm building is outside in a snowstorm. FML

#3178
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15586) - you deserved it (4305)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:35pm - misc - by im_a_mocker - United States (New York)

Today, the girl who I have had a crush on for 2 years snuck up from behind me and gave me a hug. I farted very loud at the same exact time. FML

#3168
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28000) - you deserved it (3940)

On 01/28/2009 at 6:02pm - love - by john - United States (Kansas)

Today, my roomate took the toilet paper out of my bathroom. I went into his room to look for it, only to find a large wad of it balled up near his laptop and mouse. FML

#3161
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18101) - you deserved it (1689)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:35pm - misc - by flying solo - United States (California)

Today, I drank a good amount of vodka and cut my own hair. FML

#3156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4367) - you deserved it (35223)

On 01/28/2009 at 5:20pm - misc - by 315 - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend told me he watched True Life I'm Pregnant. Now I know why we haven't been having sex. FML

#3148
16 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21446) - you deserved it (2657)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:58pm - intimacy - by hgirl - United States (Maryland)

Today, all three of my meals consisted of 2 hot pockets. FML

#3146
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8142) - you deserved it (21771)

On 01/28/2009 at 4:53pm - health - by agnosticstudy - United States (Alabama)

Today, I marked the 6th anniversary of the last time I had intercourse. FML

#3114
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32460) - you deserved it (4722)

On 01/28/2009 at 3:18pm - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I was feeling sick, so I called my boyfriend who lives down the street to come and keep me company. He replied with, "no, I can't come over, I'm busy, I'm playing xbox." FML

#3102
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20357) - you deserved it (4348)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:51pm - love - by vidzgrl - Canada (Ontario)

Today, walking to work in a snowstorm since I don't own a car, a man rolled down his window and screamed, "what are you doing you f***ing freak? you stupid b**ch!", while I waited for a green light to cross. FML

#3093
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21001) - you deserved it (1909)

On 01/28/2009 at 2:21pm - work - by likwidsol - United States (New York)

Today, I almost had an orgasm. Unfortunately, he had one first. FML

#3084
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46900) - you deserved it (6409)

On 01/28/2009 at 1:36pm - intimacy - by karma - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my grandmother who has Alzheimer's and can't usually remember my name, had a sudden moment of clarity and asked me why I'm still not married yet. FML

#3070
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20995) - you deserved it (1491)

On 01/28/2009 at 12:25pm - misc - by calikola - United States (New Jersey)



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