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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got a few notes from this girl I like at school for 2 years telling me she feels the same way. My dad knocks on the door and I panic and say "Hold on!". I shoved them under my pillow then told him to come in. He said "Son, it's perfectly normal to masturbate." FML

#14349
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30846) - you deserved it (10140)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:35am - misc - by Misunderstood (man) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I went to my car to discover a note on the windshield from the city telling me that they had hit my car. On top of that note was a parking ticket, also from the city. FML

#14341
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29640) - you deserved it (2388)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:32am - misc - by lk26 (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, my boyfriend and I were cuddling in bed. After looking at me for a while he said, "you look better when I'm not wearing my contacts". FML

#14320
14 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33334) - you deserved it (2116)

On 02/08/2009 at 12:21am - misc - by klee (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was kicked out of my track team's locker room because the coach said there weren't enough lockers for everyone on the team. There are 74 lockers and only 52 girls on the team. FML

#14158
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26871) - you deserved it (1681)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:39pm - misc - by Noname (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I played games on Barbie.com and gave up after 10 minutes. They were hard. FML

#14117
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9750) - you deserved it (36548)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:19pm - misc - by lilzoot (man) - United States (Alabama)

circayouandme's comment : Are you kidding me?? Some friends they are. Drop them.

See all the comments →

Today, my friend sent me a link about a nine year old kid who wrote an iPhone app that gets 2000 downloads per week. I am a 28 year old software developer and have been failing to write an iPhone app for months. FML

#14095
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29128) - you deserved it (5338)

On 02/07/2009 at 10:06pm - misc - by dinosaur (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I accidentally unplugged my headphones in the quiet section of the library, causing my music to play from my laptop at full volume. I was listening to Celine Dion. I'm the captain of the football team. FML

#14044
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16673) - you deserved it (45601)

On 02/07/2009 at 9:31pm - misc - by misc - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, after leaving a store I got stuck at a red light. A car pulled up next to me and there was a half retarded man jerking his junk at me. Nasty image burned into my corneas forever. FML

#13946
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30429) - you deserved it (3231)

On 02/07/2009 at 8:23pm - misc - by Noname - United States (North Carolina)

Today, the creepy skin care guy at the mall with the heavy accent asked me if I was pregnant. When I said no he replied "Oh, too many donuts then?" FML

#13891
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28584) - you deserved it (6962)

On 02/07/2009 at 7:54pm - misc - by notpreggers (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, the alarm on my phone went off. I picked it up, hit snooze, and dropped it back on my desk without looking. I woke up an hour later to find that I had dropped it directly in a full glass of water. FML

#13889
8 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11599) - you deserved it (22541)

On 02/07/2009 at 7:53pm - misc - by tarheels526 (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I thought I was going on a date. About 20 minutes into it, after giving her my arm to hold (like a true gentleman) it came up in conversation that my brother is gay. Her response: "oh, so both you and your brother are gay?" FML

#13786
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33859) - you deserved it (2367)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:33pm - misc - by max (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I tried hallucinogenic mushrooms for the first time with my friend. Little did I know, they last for around 6 hours, and I had class at 3, when I had to give a presentation in front of 30 people. FML

#13772
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8392) - you deserved it (75515)

On 02/07/2009 at 6:24pm - misc - by facepalmshroomer (woman) - United States (Georgia)



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