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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my boyfriend went into great detail over the Tiffany's jewelry he painstakingly selected for his previous girlfriends on their birthday. I got hand towels. In powder blue. From Target. FML

#5208
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30230) - you deserved it (2070)

On 02/02/2009 at 8:25am - love - by bewitched and bothered - United States (California)

Today, I sent my boyfriend some nude pics of me. Later I get a text from my dad asking me when I had gotten a tattoo. FML

#5189
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15386) - you deserved it (47165)

On 02/02/2009 at 7:56am - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend told me he'd help me shave my mustache. I'm a girl. FML

#5134
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24234) - you deserved it (5769)

On 02/02/2009 at 6:04am - love - by unbelievable - United States (California)

Today, though I'm normally unperturbed by my single-ness, I walked by some squirrels engaged in mating rituals and felt a pang of jealousy. FML

#5133
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28597) - you deserved it (3454)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:49am - love - by murphy - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got an email from the local D and D meet up group that the next meeting will be on Feb. 14th. I don't know what is more sad: that the group is meeting on Valentine's Day, or that I have nothing better to do but go. FML

#5128
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24590) - you deserved it (3887)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:41am - love - by Noname - United States (Alabama)

Today, I came into work with a new hair cut and so far everyone has asked me If I lost a bet. FML

#5127
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24829) - you deserved it (2915)

On 02/02/2009 at 5:39am - work - by Xpresss - United States (California)

Today, I came home early from work and discovered my husband wearing a black babydoll nightdress, black stockings and high heels... He says it helps him to relax. FML

#5105
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33063) - you deserved it (2577)

On 02/02/2009 at 4:29am - misc - by a268 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh)

Today, I drove an hour in a rainstorm to go see my boyfriend. Thirty minutes and a blow job later, he tells me he's going to meet some friends for dinner in half an hour then kicks me out of his house. It's still raining. FML

#5069
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44615) - you deserved it (6726)

On 02/02/2009 at 12:44am - intimacy - by rained - Hong Kong

Today, I was looking after my parents house and their wiener dog, and fell asleep on the couch. The dog climbed onto my shoulders and rested behind my head like a doggie neck pillow. All was great until she farted right in my left ear. FML

#5060
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17896) - you deserved it (6345)

On 02/01/2009 at 11:31pm - animals - by Noname - United States (Nebraska)

Today, I asked my mother if she thought my cat was getting fat. She replied "It's not the cat you should worry about". FML

#5051
22 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21369) - you deserved it (4696)

On 02/01/2009 at 10:22pm - animals - by mikep - Netherlands (Utrecht)

Today, I asked a little old lady in line at my work why she wasn't out enjoying the beautiful day with all her friends. Her response: "I'd love to, but they're all dead." FML

#4982
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14169) - you deserved it (24552)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:51pm - love - by beckbr - United States (Michigan)

Today, I am staying with my grandmother and overheard her having phone sex. FML

#4977
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37143) - you deserved it (2113)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:43pm - intimacy - by epistaxis - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was standing on a desk at work to run wiring in a suspended ceiling, since we have no ladder. My phone rang, I rushed to answer it, tripping and smashing my leg. It was my boss, calling to tell me he was bringing over a ladder. FML

#4954
13 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18790) - you deserved it (3383)

On 02/01/2009 at 7:11pm - work - by fonsui - United States (New York)



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